Pokemon Johto Expansion
by E-arth Duelist
Summary: Three trainers go on a journey through Johto. Based loosely on Heart Gold and Soul Silver. Chapter 36: And thus our tale ends, or has it? It's old, new and uncut. Pokemon Johto Expansion is back with all new content like more flashbacks, less typos (maybe) and more hilaririty.
1. Enter Route 29! Catching wild Pokemon

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 1: Enter Route 29! Catching wild Pokemon and competition!

Three new trainers smiled as they left Professor Elm's lab in Newbark Town and set their sights on Route 29. Each had their own goals in mind for their journey and each was determined to set those goals, no matter how hard the challenge or difficult the situation. The first was Walker Caul who chose the grass type pokemon, Chikorita. His eyes were blue and his attire was a white shirt with black shorts and running shoes. Slightly Calmer than Kalvin, he was paticularly bright in the knowledge of Pokemon and locations, as well as Pokemon attacks. He was also the most sarcastic of the trio. Walker tended to complain alot and had a wild temper when annoyed.

The second trainer was Jerry Boss, who chose the watery Totodile. He was dressed in a blue shirt and blue pants, as well as a pair of running shoes. His personality was cheerful and joking. He didn't seem to be serious much and cracked frequent jokes. The third trainer was named Kalvin Sporeman, who had chosen the firey Cyndaquil as his starter. Dressed in a red shirt, black pants and a pair of running shoes, Kalvin had a short fuse and tended to get viloent when provoked. He had a joking side and was constantly competing with his friends.

"Man, my Totodile is so cool!" Jerry shouted at the sky. "I should name him Jack."

"You'd really insult your pokemon like that?" Kalvin said with a smirk.

"What would you name your pokemon, Kalvin?" Jerry challenged.

"Whatever I chose would be better than Jack."

"Let's here it then."

"Calm down you two" Walker sighed. He looked at his guidebook. "It looks like we're on Route 29."

"Why don't we see who can capture a pokemon first?" Kalvin challenged, looking around.

"Alright" Jerry said, throwing his pokeball and releasing Totodile.

"This is going to go well" Walker sighed.

Kalvin had already set his sights on a Sentret. "Go, Cyndaquil!" The firey pokemon let out a cry. "Use Smokescreen to hide from view and attack it!" Kalvin ordered. Cyndaquil let loose a powerful smog that engulfed the poor Sentret. Unable to see, it was blindsided by an Ember attack to its left. It went down like a ton of bricks. "Now Headbutt!" Cyndaquil raced up a tree and jumped down headfirst, slamming its noggin into the downed pokemon. "Pokeball, go!" he cried, tossing a pokeball. The metallic ball hit Sentret and the pokemon went inside with a brilliant flash of light. The ball shook once, twice, three times and Sentret was caught. "I win!" Kalvin laughed, holding his pokeball up high for them to see.

Jerry had also caught a pokemon, but before Kalvin had. Totodile had caught sight of a Hoothoot, which is rare to see during the day and thought to be impossible. Unable to let this oppertunity pass him by, Jerry had ordered Totodile to use Water Gun on it, but it flew around the attack and pecked at Totodile's skull. "Use Scary Face!" Jerry had commanded. Totodile's scary face had instilled fear into Hoothoot, making it scared and unable to fight back against a strong blast of water to its face. Jerry had then threw his pokeball at it, catching it without fail.

"How did you catch that!" Kalvin asked in surprise.

"Well, Kalvin" Jerry said. "I guess I'm just a better trainer than you are."

"Well, Jerry. I guess I'm going to stick you in the arm with a pen!"

"No you won't" Jerry said.

"Wanna bet?" Kalvin challenged, a red glint in his eye. Then, both trainers noticed something. "Where's Walker?" Kalvin asked.

"I don't know. What do I look like, his babysitter?"

Walker had been searching for a pokemon and found himself lost in the woods. "These woods should come with a map" Walker complained. "I have no clue how far through this route I am." He sighed and was about to turn around when an Aipom bounced on his head. "Hey! What's the big idea!" The Aipom tilted its head and then took off. "Oh no you don't! Chikorita, let's go!" Sending out Chikorita, Walker ordered a Razor Leaf attack. The grass pokemon sented out a strong flurry of leaves at the monkey, but it dodged each and every one of them. Walker began to think of a strategic way to attack. _'If I were to catch it off guard...'_ Getting an idea, he ordered another Razor Leaf attack. Again, the purple monkey dodged, racing towards a wide trunked tree.

"Leech Seed!" Walker ordered. Chikorita launched three seeds at Aipom, who was forced to stop and attempt to turn away from the tree. The seeds got it and began draining its energy. "Aiiiiiii!" it cried.

"There you are!" Jerry shouted, racing up to him, quickly followed by Kalvin. "I won the catching contest!"

"Only by a second" Kalvin muttered. He noticed Aipom. "Hm? I see you found a Pokemon also."

"What?" Walker looked at Aipom. "I wasn't actually trying to catch it. I was just getting revenge for it landing on my head..."

"Why not catch it and have a new Pokemon?" Jerry suggested. "If you don't, I'll catch it."

Walker thought the situation out. He hadn't been trying to catch Aipom, but the more he looked at the Pokemon, the more he grew to like it. Plus, it had incredible speed. Perhaps it would be an asset in future battles. "Okay, here goes" Jerry said, taking a pokeball from his belt. However, Walker stopped him with his arm.

"Back off. This is my Pokemon." He tossed a pokeball at Aipom and captured it, adding the purple monkey to his collection.

_'Knew you'd catch it' _Jerry thought, smiling to himself. Kalvin snuck up behind Jerry and popped a balloon behind his back. "What the bacon, Kalvin!"

Kalvin chuckled to himself. "Hey, didn't you think it was funny?"

Walker sent out his Aipom and aimed the pokedex at it. "Aipom, is a normal type...it is a female?" he pointed it at Chikorita. "Also a female. Huh. Hey guys! You can check the genders of your pokemon using your Pokedexs!"

"Pokemon have genders?" Kalvin asked.

"Yeah Kalvin" Jerry laughed. "I can't believe you didn't know that."

"I did know that! I was just making a joke! That no one seemed to get." He aimed his pokedex at his Pokemon. "Cyndaquil and Sentret are males."

"Both of my Pokemon are males too" Jerry smiled. Aipom jumped on Kalvin's shoulder and slapped him with her tail. "Oooh! That's what I call bit..."

"I was not b - slapped!" Kalvin shouted.

"Aipom!" Walker yelled. "You don't need to slap people!"

And so the adventure in Johto had begun...

**For those wondering why Aipom was on Route 29, it is a headbutt pokemon. For those wondering why Hoothoot was found during the day...I have no explanation. Kalvin needed another Pokemon and there wasn't many choices for Route 29. What can I say? Read and enjoy!**


	2. I request a quest with a side order of f

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 2: I request a quest with a side order of free maps

The three trainers made it to Cherrygrove City. "This place looks old" Kalvin said, staring at a building about to collapse.

"Show some respect for the town" Walker said, picking up a half buried Pokeball from the ground. "As a Pokemon Historian, I plan to study the history of towns and the Pokemon of the past."

"I just thought you were a wimp" Kalvin spat.

"Say that again!" Walker shouted, his face red with anger.

"Stop fighting" Jerry sighed. "You two need to cool off. Totodile, use your Water Gun on them!" Totodile sprayed water in his friends' faces. Jerry took one look at their surprised reactions and fell to the ground laughing. "Hahahahahahaha!"

Walker helped his friend up and smacked him in the back of the head. "Jerk..."

Kalvin took out his trademark pen. "You want to be stabbed?" he asked.

"Kalvin, put the pen away" Jerry sighed.

A trainer approached them. "Hey! I'm a youngster and I want to battle one of you newbies. Me and my Pokemon I just caught will knock you for a loop."

"You want to take on the pipsqueak?" Walker asked Kalvin.

Kalvin shrugged. "Sure. Let's see what my new catch can do. Go, Sentret!" Sentret popped out of its Pokeball, ears aleart.

"That's all?" the youngster asked. "See my Pokemon! Go, Ratatta!" The purple rat looked menacing...if you stacked it against a bug...

Kalvin pointed at the doomed rat. "Attack it with your Tackle!" Sentret raced for Ratatta, determined to hit it at full force.

"Ratatta, use your Tackle!" the youngster countered. Both Pokemon collided, but Sentret had a bit more power and Ratatta was sent flying into the crumbling building.

"No!" Walker screamed. "The historic value! You ruined it! Jerry! Did you see that? Jerry?" He looked over at his friend.

"We made a sand castle" Jerry smiled, clapping his hands.

"Toto!" his pokemon cheered.

"What are you doing!" Walker shouted.

"Okay Sentret!" Kalvin ordered. "Use Double Edge!" Sentret slammed full body into Ratatta, kncoking the rat Pokemon out the instant it hit.

"My ultimate Pokemon!" the youngster cried. "I just caught it too! What did I do wrong?"

"Never mess with a Super Saiyan" Kalvin explained, throwing his fist into the air. Sentret copied its trainer.

"Wrong anime series..." Walker sighed.

"Kalvin is more like Sailor Moon" Jerry joked.

"I'm going to stab you!" Kalvin shouted, chasing Jerry around.

"We are so going to be hit with a copyright lawsuit" Walker sighed. Feeling a tapping at his shoulder, he looked to see an old man tapping at his shoulder. Then his elbow. Then his back..."Would you cut that out!" Walker yelled.

The old man grinned. "Soprry about that. I was trying to get your attention. Y'see, I have some maps I thought you might want..."

"Nothing more to do here" Walker said, cutting him off. "Guess we should head for the next town."

"But, my...my tow...town maps..." the old man stuttered.

"Yep" Jerry agreed. "Nobody else here but us."

"This is getting boring" Kalvin yawned. "There better be some battles coming up soon."

The old man got in front of their way. "Don't you want my maps?" he asked. "They're first quality."

"Beat it, creepy old guy" Walker threatend.

"You shouldn't have denied me!" the old man raged. "Now we must battle."

"But, we never locked eyes..." Walker pointed out, trying to escape.

"There's no running from a Pokemon battle!" the old man cried. "Go get them, Ratatta!" The old man's Rattata appeared and it roared with cute ferocity.

Before Walker could respond, Kalvin tossed Sentret into the battle. "I'll take the creepy old man on" he volunteered.

"Who said I was creepy?" the old man asked.

"It's so obvious you are a predator" Jerry explained.

"WHAT!" the old guy exclaimed. "It's that obvious? I mean, no, you are mistaken! I'm just a nice old man, selling my maps."

"Sentret, use Kamehameha!"

"Pokemon can't use DBZ moves!" Walker shouted. Sentret, dressed in an orange gi, charged up a strange type of energy and fired it at the opponent. Ratatta was unable to dodge and was knocked out instantly. "No way!" Walker cried. "That's impossible!"

"Good work, Sentret. Back to the ball you go." Kalvin congratulated his Pokemon, returning it to its Pokeball.

The old man was impressed. "I have some even higher quality maps in my cottage" he offered. "How about if I show you where my cottage is and then..." Kalvin punched the old man in the nose. "We don't want your stupid maps."

"That's right" Walker agreed. "We enjoy being lost."

"Where am I?" Jerry asked, looking around.

"...Cherrygrove City..."

"Oh yeah..." Jerry said, remembering. "So, where to next?"

"Hell if I know" Kalvin said. Suddenly, their Pokenavs rang. It was Professor Elm.

"Hello, trainers. Remember me? It seems that I have a small quest for you. I have a friend called Mr. Pokemon who lives near where you three are. He's got a discovery he wanted to show me, but I can't go."

"Why not?" Walker asked.

"Because you need the expirence as trainers" Elm answered.

"Bull" Jerry deduced.

"Okay, I'm just too lazy" Em admitted. "However, I need yout three to go and check out that discovery for me. If you do, I'll buy you all three wiis."

"That sounds like a plan" Walker confirmed. "Okay guys, let's go find Mr. Pokemon's house!"

**Anyone wondering who the creepy old guy is, if you haven't already figured it out, it is the map guy from Cherrygrove City. Yeah, I didn't like him because he gave me that tour of the town that I didn't care about and then handed me a free map, even though I kinda knew where I was going. As to the anime references, yeah there will be more of those so expect to read more fot hose in the future. Also, I may or may not add in the rival, depending n if I choose to and if I do, I won't be giving him a starter, since I've used up all three so far, so I'll make up my own. That's if I put him in. Anyways, thanks for reading and look for the next chapter soon!**


	3. Third degree burns are harsh

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 3: Third degree burns are harsh

**By the way, Pokenav from the last chapter was supposed to be Pokegear. Sorry about that.**

"Let's see" Jerry said. "I think Mr. Pokemon's house is in that direction." He pointed to a small patch of bushes.

"Jerry" Walker sighed. "That's just a patch of bushes. You can't be right..." As they walked through the bushes, they saw an odd looking house that had a sign on the door reading "Home of Mr. Pokemon. If you are my wife, I'm not home." "That's not possible" Walker gulped.

"It will also rain soon" Jerry said. At his words, the skies opened up and a light rain poured down.

"You can't be psychic!" Walker gasped.

"Well, I did train with the best" Jerry remarked.

(Flashback)

"How much longer must I sit patiently?" Jerry asked.

A strange man wearing excessive make up stamped his feet. "Look, I don't know! I just sell fries to hungry customers! Why are you always stopping by here anyways?"

"Mr. Ronald MC. Donald, please report to drive-through window #1" the loudspeaker blared.

"Yes sir!" Ronald cried, turning around. Then, he looked back at Jerry. "How's my hair?"

(End flashback)

"What does that have to do with you being psychic?" Walker asked.

"Huh? Oh, nothing." Walker facefell.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Kalvin cried as he fell into a hole. He was only two feet from the door, too.

"Darn it Kalvin!" Walker shouted. "You can't go 5 minutes without getting into some kind of trouble."

"I think I broke my spleen!" Kalvin yelled in pain.

"I suppose you want us to help you now" Walker surmised. "Well, we will. Right Jerry?"

Jerry stared at the clouds. "Only if I can ride on a magical cloud."

Walker sweatdropped. "Yeah...you do that. Chikorita, go! Use Vine Whip to pull Kalvin out of the hole! Oh and try to snatch his wallet too!" Chikortia lifted Kalvin out of the hole.

"Thanks alot...jerks." Kalvin pounded on the door. "Hey, old man! Open the door!" An old looking man opened the door.

"What do you want? Quit your shouting."

"I want the egg you talked to Elm about on the phone" Kalvin said, holding out his hands.

"What egg?" the old man asked, scratching his head.

"Now! You senile old fool!" Kalvin yelled. "Or else I'll have to beat it out of you in a Pokemon battle!"

"Just try" the old man challenged, reaching for a Pokeball.

"Fine! Go, Sentret!" Sentret emerged from the Pokeball, ready for war.

"He's at it again" Walker sweatdropped.

"Looks like he's mad this time" Jerry pointed out. "There's no stopping Kalvin when's he angry."

Another old man appeared behind them. "My my, how lively. Who's that kid battling Oak?"

"Oh" Jerry answered. "His name is Kalvin...wait, Professor Oak!"

"This is too funny to watch" Walker sniggered as he pulled out pop corn.

"Wait, this is Professor Oak?" Kalvin asked, looking scared.

"That's right" Oak answered, throwing a Pokeball. "Charizard, go!" The firey dragon Pokemon roared with fury. "Use Blast Burn!"

"This is bad..." Kalvin said as his Sentret was knocked out immedietly.

"This is a no camp fire zone" Jerry joked, holding an anti burning sign.

"Please clear the area!" Walker cried, dressed in a surgeon outfit. He took out electrical devices. "And clear! And clear! And clear!"

"What are you doing?" Kalvin asked.

"Trying to figure out how these work" Walker answered.

"You idiot!" Kalvin and Jerry shouted.

The other old guy laughed heartily. "Elm told me he had sent three newbie trainers to see me about my discovery. I assume it is you three?"

"You're Mr. Pokemon?" Kalvin asked.

"Yes I am. Here. This is my discovery." he handed Walker a Pokemon egg.

"Why does he get to hold it?" Jerry asked.

"You'd lose it" Walker answered. "And Kalvin would break when he gets angry. So, I should hold it..." Walker suddenly found a quarter on the ground and dropped the egg to free up his hands. Aipom popped out of its Pokeball and grabbed the egg before it hit the ground.

"Ai!" it sighed.

"Please take that Pokemon egg back to Professor Elm" Mr. Pokemon requested. "I know it is out of your way, but Oak here has a gift for you in return." Reluctantly, Oak handed them Pokedexes, though he charged Kalvin ten bucks for his.

"I'll call Elm" Walker said, dialing his number.

"Ooh! Put him on speaker" Jerry said.

"Fine." It began to ring. "Hello? Hey Elm. It's me, Walker. We got the discovery."

"You got it?" Elm asked. "What is it?"

"It's an egg" Walker answered. "Maybe a Pokemon egg."

"I doubt it" Elm said. "Mr. Pokemon's last invention was cheese that never aged. It wasn't very impressive."

"You said you loved my cheese!" Mr. Pokemon cried, tears filling his eyes.

"Wait! I...I did! Take this off speaker, Walker and let me talk to Mr. Pokemon!"

"Look, what you do on your time is your buissness" Kalvin answered. "We're delivering the egg to you and then we're gone."

"It isn't like that!" Elm screamed. "We're just good friends! Who eat cheese at parties. Oh! I forgot to tell you guys something important. I...!" Walker hung up the phone.

"Okay, time for us to go see Elm, hand him the egg and finally get back to our journey."

"Right" Jerry said. "I predict cloudy weather with a chance of meatsauce."

"Good for us" Kalvin spat.

The three began their journey back to Elm's lab. But, will the journey back be as pleasent as the journey from? And just why does Elm love cheese? If you care about the answer to that question, then you must love cheese. Stay tuned for chapter 4.


	4. Elm's Captured and Now we're stuck with

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 4: Elm's Captured and Now we're stuck with an Egg!

The group had journeyed back to Cherrygrove, however...

"You will buy my maps!" the creepy old map guy yelled. Behind him stood the mob, each with a Murkrow sitting on their shoulders.

"Great. This will waste two of our seconds back" Kalvin spat. "Go, Cyndaquil! Use Flamethrower on Creepy Map Guy!" The firey hedgehog spat a stream of flames at the creep.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" he cried, trying to put the flames out by rolling in the sand.

"It's super effective!" Jerry joked, laughing all the way.

"What fun it is to ride and sing a...hold on. This isn't Christmas!" Walker shouted, hitting a mobster with a rolled up newspaper.

"You little punk...Murkrow, use Nightshade!" The bird Pokemon began concentrating its energy.

"Aipom, stop it with your Tickle attack!" Walker yelled. Aipom jumped and began tickling Murkrow, making it lose focus. Another Murkrow hit it with its wing.

"Sucker Punch" Walker growled through gritted teeth.

One mobster looked at Jerry. "Hmph. You appear to be the weakest link in the chain."

"Or am I the strongest?" Jerry asked.

"Word games don't affect me because I never finished high school!" the mobster yelled. "Murkrow, attack with Pursuit!"

"Totodile!" Jerry shouted, releasing his Pokemon. "Hold it off with Water Gun!" A cold blast of water knocked the dark mobster-like Pokemon back into its owner.

"This has been fun" Kalvin said. "But we need to get going. Cyndaquil, use Smokescreen!" The fire Pokemon emitted a smoggy substance from its mouth and when it cleared, the trio were gone.

"Where did they go?" the creepy old map guy asked.

"They vanished!" a mobster exclaimed. "Like...magic!"

"Magic...!" the others echoed.

"Not magic! It was a smokescreen!" the creepy map guy shouted.

"Nice work, Kalvin" Jerry congratulated.

"Yeah" Walker agreed. "A moment later, though and we may have had to fight seriously. Hahaha!"

"Look, there's Elm's lab." Jerry pointed to a burning building in Newbark Town.

"That can't be!" Walker cried.

"What happend to the demented, chesse loving professor?" Kalvin asked.

"He's in our hideout." They looked through the flames to see a man dressed in a black outfit. His shirt bore an insignia of an R in a blood red coloring. His blue, spiky hair was obscured partially by a black hat.

"Who are you?" Walker demanded.

"You may call me Proton, a member of a secret organization that you need not know about." He threw out a pokeball, releasing a Koffing.

"Why not?' Kalvin asked, preparing his fist for action.

"Because you three won't live to see my face again. Or the face of Professor Failure. Koffing, use Smog!" A poisonous gas emitted from Koffing's body and began slowly working its way to them.

"Cover your mouths and noses!" Jerry warned. He sent out Totodile out. "Use Water Gun" he said in a muffled voice. The water cleared some of the smog from the air, but the tainted poison still lingered.

"Patheticf attempt to save your comrades" Proton smiled.

"Cyndaquil! Use Smokescreen to push back the toxins!" Kalvin yelled. The fire Pokemon attempted to let out its own gases, however, Proton had a plan to stop that.

"Zubat!" he yelled, sending out the bat Pokemon. Use Super Sonic on Cyndaquil!" Zubat let out ultrasonic waves that sent Cyndaquil into a confused state. Turning, it fired its Smokescreen at Kalvin, Walker and Jerry.

"Another job well done by Kalvin!" Walker coughed.

"Shut it!" Kalvin coughed back.

Jerry sent out Hoothoot. "Attack from the sky with Peck!" he commanded as the smoke started to let up. Hoothoot tried to hit Zubat, but Koffing slammed into it, sending it hurtling to the ground.

"Well, this could be going better" Walker said.

"How about trying to help?" Kalvin suggested.

Walker sent out Chikorita. "Use Razor Leaf!" Chikorita atatcked with a sharp leaf that was deflected by Koffing spinning in a circle. "No way! It did nothing!"

"That's what she said" Jerry joked.

Walker hit him the head with a rolled up newspaper. "Not funny, Jerry! Not funny at all!"

"I thought it was funny" Kalvin said, putting his two cents in.

"Shut up!"

Proton shook his head. "You three are pathetic. It's time I stop playing around and finish you off." He pointed at them. "Koffing, use Self Destruct."

"I'm guessing this is bad..." Walker said, gulping. "Jerry, it was nice knowing you. Kalvin...not so much."

"I'm going to stab you int the afterlife" Kalvin retaliated. Koffing gathered light and exploded, sweeping away the trio into Route 29.

Jerry got up first. "Everyone okay?" he asked.

Kalvin nodded. "Yeah. No broken bones."

Walker also got up. "Hey. That guy Proton is gone!"

Jerry looked at where the enemy had been just seconds before. "Maybe he blew himself up" he suggested.

"No" Kalvin said, getting up off the ground. "There's no shred of clothing or blood anywhere. He's still alive. My guess is, he wasn't trying to really kill us."

"Then why use such a strong move?" Walker asked.

"I don't know" Jerry answered. "How's the Pokemon egg?"

"I almost forgot about that!" Walker exclaimed. He quickly checked it. "It's okay. Speaking of the egg, I guess it's ours until we find Professor Elm."

"And that's no yoke!" Jerry joked, using an egg pun.

"Oh geez!" Walker cried, slapping his forehead.


	5. Do you know where we are going?

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 5: Do you know where we are going?

Route 31...ah, such a peaceful route. The Pidgey were chriping, the Caterpie were frolicking in the grass and everything was serene and quiet. Yes, nothing could disturb such peace...

"Give me back my cookie!" Kalvin demanded, chasing Walker.

"Finders keepers" Walker sang. "Besides, you owed me a cookie."

"Liar."

Walker shurgged. "You have to use your talents." He saw Jerry looking through the grass. "Hey. Did you find something?"

Jerry held out a silvery coin. "I found a dime!" he cheered. The three teeens stomachs growled. They hadn't eaten much since they started their journey over 5 hours ago and they were starving. Kalvin's cookie stash was pretty much their only hope for survival.

"With this dime" Walker said, starting a speech. "With this single, life saving dime, one of use will be able to eat today, while the other two will...starve. Have fun guys."

"I'm not starving" Jerry frowned. "Hand me back the dime. I found it. Finders keepers..."

"And losers weepers" Walker growled lowly. "I'm starving!"

"So am I!" Kalvin shouted. "Besides, you already ate one of my cookies! Now I only have one left." He quickly ate it, leaving Jerry foodless.

"We'll fight for the dime" Walker suggested. "Whoever wins in rock, paper, scissors will win the dime."

"I still say that dime belongs to me" Jerry sulked.

"Bring it!" Kalvin cried. "I can win any game, anytime!"

"Good. Rock, paper...!" A voice cut them off.

"Uh...you're really making that big of a deal out of one dime?" The boy had on a strawhat and kakki shorts. "I could just lend you my salmon. I made more than enough. But, I'm not in the sharing mood today."

Kalvin walked up to the boy. "Let me put you in the sharing mood. Either gives us the salmon or prepare to look like that Magikarp over there." He pointed to a lake where a Magikarp happily splashed to its heart's content. Kalvin sweatdropped. "I meant that Magikarp over there." He pointed to a Magikarp that a young girl fished out of the lake.

"I'm going to bring you with me to a Justyn Beiber concert" she happily laughed.

"The horror!" the bug catcher cried. "I'm sorry. Please, just take my salmon and leave."

"I knew you'd see things my way" Kalvin laughed, grabbing a bagful of salmon. Walker and Jerry also picked opne out, after they finished their rock, paper, scissors game, of course.

"There's the gate to Violet City" Walker said, looking at a map.

"Since when have you had a map?" Jerry asked.

"I made it when you and Kalvin stopped for a game of I'm Better than You."

"My head still hurts" Jerry winced. "So, how's your map look?" Walker revealed a very crudely drawn map. The only things labeled were You Are Here with an arrow, a thin line that Jerry guessed was either a road or a new Oblongs character and a fish that described in little detail where they had encountered the bug catcher. "Dude, your map is horrible" Jerry laughed.

Walker crossed his arms. "Thanks. Jerk."

Kalvin hit a wall as they walked through the gate. "What are you doing!" Walker asked.

"This is Violent City, right?" he asked.

"Violet City" Walker corrected.

Kalvin's face drooped. "And I thought I'd get to break something here."

"Give me a break, give me a break..." Jerry sang, opening up a Kit Kat.

"Don't worry, Kalvin" Walker reassured. "There's bound to be lots of fun activities in this city."

The trainers were taken aback by the huge city they saw sprawled out before them. And by huge city, I mean slightly bigger than a toy box, but without most of the novelty. There was a Pokemon Center, a Pokemart, a Trainer school, a Gym and tower among the random houses. "I'm leaving" Kalvin said, spitting on the ground.

"Give it a chance" Walker suggested. "I have an excellent sense of direction. I'll bring us to the Gym and we'll take off from there."

"Alright..." Kalvin agreed.

"This sounds like a bad idea..." Jerry frowned.

Twenty minutes later...

"How do you get lost in a two dimensional city!" Kalvin asked.

Walker frowned and looked at his "map". "I don't have this area marked, so...I can't say for sure, but I think we're lost. Nice work, Jerry."

"Oh no!" Jerry protested. "You aren't blaming me for this one. Besisdes, how could this be my fault? You said you had a great sense of direction, remember?"

"Yes" Walker agreed. "And it is your fault because you didn't stop me from leading us into a lost area where we could get eaten by rabid Pokemon or die or go insane or worse!"

"Yu mean there's worse things then death?" Kalvin asked.

"The Xbox 360" Jerry said, getting a death glare from Kalvin. "Just joking! Playstation is better though."

"I disagree" Walker interuppted. "Nintendo is the best."

"Xbox kicks all their...wait. What is that?" He pointed to a swaying tower.

"Looks like a swaying tower" Jerry said.

"It's getting dark. Why don't we check it out?" Kalvin suggested.

"It's better than randomly running around with someone who couldn't find his way from his home to a grocery store leading you" Jerry admitted. The two began to walk inside.

"Hey!" Walker shouted, offended. "Only once! Let me tell you, those trees are tricky!" he too followed them inside. What lay inside, however, was more scary than the Pet Shop of Horrors. Three monks dressed in robes that had a Bellsprout insignia on them were bowing.

"Welcome to Sprout Tower" they said in unison.

**Many references in this one, folks. Pet Shop of Horrors is an anime. Justyn Beiber is essentially Justin beiber with a y instead of an i. The salmon...that was random. Oh and the two dimensional city is a reference to how the original Gold and Silver is so old compared to the newer and sharper looking Heart Gold and Soul Silver.**


	6. A storm of sages

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 6: A storm of sages

"Uh...thanks?" Walker asked. He sweatdropped. "Guys, let's just leave this nut house." Jerry already has his head shaved and was standing next to them.

"Hello my peaceful friends" he said in a low voice, imitating the sages.

"You moron!" Walker shouted. "Take that bald cap off!"

"Fine..." Jerry frowned, throwing it into a pile of disguises he had randomly found.

"To reach the top of the stairs" one sage said.

"You must defeat us in battle" the second finished.

"And then you can face the master sage" the third added.

"Are these guys for real?" Kalvin asked. "I'll take all three of them on. At once, even."

"Don't get over confident" Walker warned. "These aren't average trainers. They probablly have strong Pokemon at their disposal."

The first sage stepped forward. "Okay, who wishes to go first?"

Jerry stepped into the ring, so to speak. "I'll have a go at it. Go, Hoothoot!" The flying Pokemon burst from its Pokeball, ready to be heroic.

"Uh, could you please use something else?" the sage asked.

Jerry blinked. "Okay...Totodile, I choose you."

The sage's eyes turned red. "Excellent. You have fallen for my tactic. Bellsprout, defeat this intruder!" A Bellsprout appeared, also having menacing eyes. "Heh heh. You three will never make it to the top. The spirit of Bellsprout will break your bones and annihalate your intrudering intentions!"

"So battling demonic sages for our lives is better than being lost in the dark, huh?" Walker asked.

Kalvin nodded. "Of course. At least this way I can fight something."

"Oh geez!"

Jerry formulated a plan. "Use Water Gun on Bellsprout." The crocodile fired a stream of water at the sprout, but it didn't do any damage. In fact, Bellsprout looked stronger than ever!

"Useless tactic, you pitiful excuse for a trainer! Bellsprout, use Vine Whip!" A vine slammed hard into Totodile's body, causing it to stagger a bit.

"Totodile!" Jerry cried. "Hang in there! Go in for close range with Bite!" Totodile regained his footing and charged for the sprout, but it sidestepped and caught Totodile with it's vine again, knocking the water starter to the floor.

"Finish this with a final Vine Whip!" the sage laughed gleefully.

Jerry got an idea. "Totodile, you're on fire!" The Pokemon panicked and rolled clear of the attack, using the duck, roll and cover strategy. "Good. Now hit it full blast with Water Gun!" The attack hit Bellsprout again and again it had no effect.

"No matter how many times you try" the sage laughed. "Water attacks will never hurt Bellsprout! You'd have better luck trying to cancel Glee!"

"I hate Glee!" Jerry yelled. Totodile rapid fired Water Guns at Bellsprout. "Keep it wet!" Jerry cried. Outside, a storm was brewing. A stary lightning bolt struck the tower and ran down to the ground floor, hitting Bellsprout as if it were a lightning rod. It went down instantly, not able to take such a powerful attack.

"Your powers of weather prediction came in handy" Walker said.

Kalvin stepped up next. "Come on" he challenged the other two sgaes. "Both of you, attack at once."

They looked at each other and smiled. "Fine. Lose however way you wish."

"I shall. Cyndaquil, take these idiots out!"

"Not fire!" they cried. "Use something else!"

"No. Fire Spin!" The attack scorched the sages and they crumbled to the floor.

"This is better than going to see an Imax movie" Walker remarked, eating a bag of popcorn. A fourth sage walked down stairs and saw his defeated comrades.

"You three...you have interloped where you shouldn't have. Prepare to be destroyed!" he took a Pokeball off of his belt. "Bellsprout! Defeat these meanies!"

"Meanies?" Walker asked, shaking his head. "I'll deal with you. Your dialouge is worse than a Ben Affleck movie. Aipom, let's rock this battle!" Aipom appeared and stared down the sprout. "Use Agility to get in close!" Aipom began darting towards Bellsprout.

"Razor Leaf!" the master sage ordered.

"Dodge Aipom and hit it with Swift!" The monkey dodged quickly and waved her tail, sending a stream of stars at its Opponent. The stars collided with Bellsprout, hitting it hard.

"Good. Now use Fury Swipes!" Walker ordered. Bellsprout was down after the first two swipes and the master sage recalled it.

"That was skilled, I'll admit. However, I still have this Pokemon..."

"Please don't be another Bellsprout" Walker prayed.

"...Go, Hoothoot!"

"A Hoothoot!" the friends exclaimed in surprise.

"Use Peck!" the master sage ordered.

"Aipom...get out of there!" Aipom bounced away on its tail to buy it some time. "Use your tail to springboard into the air and hit it with a Fury Swipes!" Aipom jumped into the air and swung wildly at Hoothoot. The bird mearly dodged to the left and Aipom struck the evilness of cold air before hitting the ground with a rough landing.

"To finish this, I'd like to open up my ceramonial umbrella" the master sage smiled, opening up a tropical umbrella. A lightning bolt struck the umbrella and shocked the master sage into unconciousness.

Walker sighed and returned Aipom. "What a workout! At least it's almost morning. Then we can go to the gym. I honestly know where it is."

"I'd rather be run over by a mad truck" Kalvin answered, walking away.

"Same here" Jerry agreed, following Kalvin's lead.

"Seriously, I know where it is! It will only take a second..."

"No!"


	7. The first epic gym battle

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 7: The first epic gym battle

The group of three stood in front of the gym. "We finally made it..." Jerry said, exasperated.

"Why are you out of breath?" Walker asked.

"I'm not" Jerry answered. "It's just that I feel exasperated..."

Walker sweatdropped. "Very strange. Okay, let's enter and engage our destinies..."

Kalvin punched the door open. "Let's go before you get all One Life to Live on me" he spat, walking inside.

"Hey!" Walker shouted. "One Life to Live happens to be a great soap!"

Falkner waited inside, looking at them eagerly. "Welcome to my gym" he said. "I hope you are ready to put your training to the test."

"Training?" Jerry asked, stunned. "I knew we forgot to add that to our vacation schedule."

Falkner sighed. "So, who will I be battling against? Please say it isn't the dimwit..."

"That doesn't narrow it down at all" a bird keeper sitting on his gym floor said. Walker and Kalvin punched him through the wall.

"You know, I can't stand people who are so rude!" Walker shouted.

"I'm going to stab everyone in this building with my pen that I will name soon!" Kalvin roared.

"How about naming it Sally?" Jerry suggested, laughing to himself.

"No" Walker said. "Please don't bring up your Sally character from that story you wrote..."

"What?" Jerry asked. "I wasn't referencing that."

Kalvin sent out Cyndaquil. "Let's see what you got, Gym Leader."

Falkner nodded. "Very well. Pidgeotto, take to the skies!" He sent out his bird Pokemon.

"We want our baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back..." Walker and Jerry sang, trying to add some battle music.

"Why aren't you saying ribs?" Kalvin asked.

"We never say ribs" Jerry answered, earning a sigh from Kalvin.

"Enough with the Scrubs references! Cyndaquil, use Fire Spin to trap Pidgeotto!" The firey hedgehog tried to trap Pidgeotto in a swirling twister of fire, but it evaded and used it's speed to attack Cyndaquil quickly.

"That was Quick Attack" Falkner explained.

"No joke" Kalvin muttered. "Cyndaquil, use Ember!"

"Dodge it quick!" Falkner ordered. Pidgeotto dodged. "Good, now use Wing Attack!" As the flying bird tried to attack Cyndaquil, Kalvin got an idea. "Use Fire Spin!"

"How does Cyndaquil know Fire Spin, anyway?" Walker asked.

Jerry shrugged. "It could be a special egg move given to this paticular Cyndaquil for know reason."

"Sounds logical" Walker said.

Falkner had anticipated Kalvin's attack and had prepared his own counter for it. "Counter it with Twister!" The two cyclones collided mid-air and the resulting explosion was fierce, knocking both Pokemon down.

Jerry was playing the board game Twister with his Totodile. "Right foot, blue..."

"The attack, not the board game!" Walker shouted.

"Oh...the board game is so much fun, though."

Walker smacked his forehead. "Oh geez...!"

Back to the battle, both Pokemon were on the verge of collapsing. Cyndaquil looked battered and was covered in smoke, whereas Pidgeotto was covered in smoke and beaten. "Looks like the next hit will decide it..." Kalvin said.

Falkner shook his head. "I don't think so. Pidgeotto, use Roost!"

"Roost?" Kalvin asked, unsure of the move. Pidgeotto started to heal its injuries and the smoke and bruises healed on the spot.

"Roost heals some of my Pokemon's health" Falkner explained. "This is a gym battle. It isn't like you can just hammer away and defeat me without a strategy. Pidgeotto, use Quick Attack!" The now healed bird flew at Cyndaquil, but ran into a barrier. "What?"

"I do have a strategy" Kalvin corrected. He pointed at Falkner. "And that is to defeat you! Even if I have to use defensive moves like Defense Curl."

"Interesting...Pidgeotto, use Twister!" Pidgeotto began stirring up powerful winds again.

"Not this time. Cyndaquil, use Flame Wheel!" Cyndaquil's body became a burning wheel that flew towards the half formed tornado. Pidgeotto was taken by surprise and the flaming headgehog knocked it back into a wall.

"So, have you seen season 5 of scrubs?" Jerry asked, sipping a light herbal tea.

"I saw the last disk from it" Walker answered, also sipping herbal tea.

"How is it that someone without a strategy can put up such an amazing fight?" Falkner wondered aloud as he looked at Pidgeotto. "Get up, Pidgeotto. Use Wing Attack!" Pidgeotto struggled to get up and flew at Cyndaquil.

Kalvin clenched his fist. "Just what I was waiting for. Cyndaquil, use Quick Attack!" Cyndaquil slammed into Pidgeotto with overwhelming force. Cyndaquil then charged up with a firey aura and started to use Flame Wheel again. "What? I didn't order you to use that!"

"You need to control your Pokemon better" Falkner chatised. The burning wheel charged towards the downed Pidgeotto. "Fly and Roost!" he ordered quickly. Pidgeotto tried to fly up, however Cyndaquil's ignorance to listen to its trainer's orders proved useful as it rolled up the side of the building and caught up with Pidgeotto. Before the dumbfounded bird could turn and excape, Cyndaquil crashed into it fullbody. The attack left both injured, however Pidgeotto proved down for the count, while Cyndaquil was pretty banged up.

"Yes!" Kalvin cheered. "Who's the best trainer in the world? I'm the best trainer in the world!"

"And the best trainer in the world has to buy his friends pizza" Walker snickered as he accepted Flakner's badge.

"Hey! That's my badge!" Kalvin cried. "Give it back you son of a...!"

"Watch your language, Kalvin!" Jerry shouted. "Dude, this is a kids story, remember?"

Kalvin frowned. "Whatever. I'm still able to stab you with a pen."

"I'd liek to see you try" Walker smirked. His smirk soon turned to worry. "Oh crap!"

Kalvin was now holding two pens. "Yeah, you better run Walker!" he shouted. "And by the way, I'm not paying for tonight's meal!"


	8. Shocking sheep and defective balls

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 8: Shocking sheep and defective balls

"I told you we wouldn't get lost" Walker said, earning a glare from his friends.

"Dude, you took that wrong turn at the Poke Center and brought us to a random Wal Mart!" Jerod exclaimed. "Though I have to admit, Totodile's afro looks nice."

"Take that idiotic afro off of Totodile" Kalvin said.

"Sorry. I'm sick of waiting for Sgt. Frog season 3."

Walker stopped to smell a flower and Kalvin figured it was the perfect time to get revenge. He quickly pulled out a water balloon and tossed it at Walker.

"That wasn't funny" Walker said.

Jerry threw one at Walker. "No, but that was. Hahahahaha!"

Walker frowned. "Dominatrix."

"Ooh, I'll get you for that!" Jerry vowed. "Wait. Kalvin, what does Dominatrix mean?"

"Hold on, let me look it up" Kalvin replied, taking out his cell phone. "Let's see...ah, here it is." he stifled a laugh as best he could. Jerry's face grew red.

"Ooh, I'll get you for that!" Jerry vowed, again.

Walker smiled. "Sure you will." An electric shock ran through his body. "Ouch!" He doubled over to reveal a Mareep charging electricity.

"Ooooh!" Jerry cried. "It's so cute, I want it! Come here little fellow."

"I don't think it likes you" Kalvin said as Jerry moved closer. "Uh, Jerry...don't get so close."

"Why?" Jerry asked.

"Because...this!" Kalvin threw a pen at Jerry. Jerry dodged and the Mareep, feeling threatend, shocked Jerry with an extra powerful Thundershock.

"Dude...what the hell!" Jerry asked, getting up.

"Let me show you how you catch a Pokemon" Kalvin said. "Why? Because I'm awesome! I'm awesome! I'm awesome!" He threw a pokeball at the Mareep and it bounced off without even the slightest chance of working. "No. No. No. Oh, hell no!" Kalvin quoted. He tried another one and it failed. "Damn. What is wrong with these balls?"

"Maybe you should trade them in for a new set" Walker joked.

"Better yet" Jerry continued. "You should sell them for 100 dollars." Both shocked trainers cracked up at their jokes.

Kalvin took out a calculator. "Don't make muse my scientific calculator" he threatend.

"Your scientific calculator that you stole" Walker reminded him.

"Uh guys..." Jerry said.

"Not now" Kalvin replied. "I didn't steal it because...I found it."

"Guys..."

"Jerry, mind your own buissness. Look, all I'm saying is it belongs to someone else, okay?"

"Too bad. I found it, it's mine."

"Guys!" Jerry shouted. "Mareep left."

Walker frowned. "What? Why didn't you say something before!"

"I tried to..." Jerry tried to say.

"Yeah, Jerry. Don't come up with excuses" Kalvin retorted.

"Oh, I see how it is, Kalvin!" Jerry cried, raising a fist. "I'm just joking, dude. I wouldn't hit you. Or cats." He sent a death glare to Walker.

"Sorry!" Walker apologized. "I can't help my imagination! You got to admit, if you think about it long enough, it is slightly funny..."

"Dude, I still can't believe you thought..." Jerry stopped in mid sentance and started shaking his head, which was starting to become very trademark about him.

"Enough randomness" Walker said. "I have a Mareep to catch." He parted the grass and found Mareep staring at him, growling. "How cute. Look, you're going to be my Pokemon, whether you like it or not." Mareep thundershocked him. "Are we going to do this the hard way or the easy way? Get in the ball." Mareep thunderashocked him again. "Get in the ball" he repeated. Mareep shocked him a third time. "Okay, that's it. Chikorita, I choose you!"

"You're using grass type to take on an electric type?" Jerry asked. "That's like using a single shooter pistol on a group of Residant Evil zombies."

Kalvin leaned against a tree. "I'm tired. Tell me when you catch it."

Walker nodded. "Chikorita, use Razor Leaf!" The attack sliced the ground where Mareep had once been. "Impressive speed. Chase it." Chikorita tried, but was caught in a cottony substance. "Darn! Cotton Spore lowers my speed!" he cursed.

"Look out!" jerry shouted. "It's about to use Thunder Wave!" Mareep sent an elctric impulse in Chikorita's direction.

"Darn! No way to dodge!" Walker said through grit teeth. Just as all hope seemed lost, Chikorita put up a barrier around itself, protecting it from the status affliction. "What? Is that...Safeguard?" He smiled. "Good work, Chikorita. Now, use Razor Leaf." This time, the leaf sailed through the air and hit its target. Walker threw a pokeball at it and caught it without incident. "Yes! I caught a Mareep!" he cheered. He released it from its ball. "You and are going to best friends." he said with a smile. Mareep blinked and thundershocked him.

"Yeah...you two are great friends already" Jerry joked. He looked at an approaching truck and got an idea. "Heh heh. I just found a way to screw with Kalvin."

Two hours later...

Kalvin awoke with a bumpy start, staring at the back of a truck. "Where am I?" he asked, looking around. "Why am I in a truck? What the hell, guys!"


	9. Who's laughing now?

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 9: Who's laughing now?

Walker and Jerry stared each other down as they released their Pokemon, Mareep and Totodile respectivly. "Thanks for agreeing to this battle" Walker said.

"I guess" Jerry sighed. "I don't see why you're using Mareep anyway..."

"Because it won't listen to me" Walker replied. "Now, Mareep! Thundershock!" Mareep just stared at Totodile.

"Oh, I see how it is!" Jerry joked. "We can use the stare down attack too! Totodile, stare it down." Totodile did so, edging closer to the stubborn sheep. In retaliation, Mareep used Thundershock on both Totodile and Jerry.

Walker sweatdropped. "Well...it kinda listened..."

"Having trouble, trainers?" a voice asked. The three looked to their left to see an old man sitting on a rock, eating a sandwich. "What? Do I have something in my teeth?"

"Who are you?" Kalvin asked.

"Me? I'm just a lonely wanderer. By the way, this sandwich is good. But, I've had better..."

"What do you mean?" Jerry asked.

The man grinned. "Why, Slowpoke Tail of course! You never heard of it? I'm not surprised! It's only the hottest food item on the market! Or, it will be, once it is manufactured, anyway. However, lucky you! I happen to have three presale Slowpoke Tails with me right here for only 1,000,000 dollars! What do you say? Oh and please no checks. I only accept cash."

Jerry's body started trembling. "You eat Pokemon? Are you insane?"

The man stopped to think. "No...well, I could be. Yes, I think I might be. So, will you pay?"

"No."

The man started to laugh. "I suppose I can't force you to try one. Still, it is a fine tail and it would be a shame not to get one while you can. This is a sale price, you know. I didn't tell you that? My apologies." His old beard started to fall off.

"Who are you?" Jerry asked.

"He's an old man..." Walker said lamely.

"Just a wander..."

"No lies" Jerry said coldly. "Who are you? You aren't an old guy, that's for sure."

The man laughed as he ripped off his disguise, revealing a black and white costume with an R printed on the shirt underneath. "My, my, my! How observant you are! My disguise was perfect, at least I thought so. How did you guess I was Petrel of Team Rocket?"

"Team Rocket?" Kalvin asked. "Is that group of door to door salesmen? Because I don't like those kind of people."

"Please!" Petrel laughed. "We aren't that evil! We just steal Pokemon, sell them illegally and pretty much control the black market. Nothing bad or anything. Like I said, I am Petrel, master of disguise for Team Rocket. I am pleased to meet such observant trainers."

"Why are you telling us all this?" Walker asked.

"Because it isn't like you can do anything to stop us from our latest plot of taking Slowpoke Tails" he said, grinning. "Teenagers like you couldn't even land a finger on us. We're untouchable." A blast of cold water sparyed him in the face.

"How's that for untouchable?" Jerry asked, his Totodile laughing in triumph.

"Yes...that was unexpected, I do admit. You know, I'm the nicest guy of Team Rocket. You would be wise not to try to anger me. I won't be so funny then."

"Let's see you be more funny than me" Jerry challenged.

"Very well." Both stood their ground.

Jerry started. "Okay, this Pokemn walks into a bar and says..."

"Boring!" Petrel scoffed. "Verbal humor is so yesterday! What people want is an actor of physical comedy." He took out a pie and threw it at Totodile. "Now that is funny! Hahahahahahaha!"

Jerry's eyes twitched. "You dare insult...my Totodile! I challenge you to a battle! My Totodile versus...your...?"

"My Raticate" Petrel finished, throwing his rat Pokemon into the fray.

"Alright, Totodile, use Scary Face!" Totodile tried to scare Ratiocate, but it failed.

"Hmph. Pathetic" Petrel smiled, clicking his fingers. "Raticate, use Focus Energy."

"Focus Energy?" Jerry wondered.

"Hurry and attack it!" Walker cried. "Focus Energy is an attack that increases the user's attack!"

"What?"

"Too late!" Petrel announced. "Hyper Fang!" Raticate rushed towards Totodile, eager to attack it.

"Darn...Water Gun!" Totodile hit Raticate with a point blank range water gun, sending Raticate hurtling to the ground.

Petrel was amazed. "Such speed...But, it cannot match raticate. Use Quick Attack!" Raticate slammed into Totodile, effectivelty weakening it. "Good. Now go in for Hyper Fang!"

Totodile dodged and dug its own fangs into Raticate. The rat cried out in pain as its body started to become enveloped in ice. "No way!" Jerry shouted. "What move is that?"

Walker took out his attack guide book. "Looks like Ice Fang. It has a small chance of freezing the enemy."

Petrel returned his Pokemon. "Okay, you win that fight. But, there will be another. Team Rocket will not lose face because of just one lost." Using a smokebomb, Petrel escaped.

"Team Rocket" Kalvin said. "They need to be taught a lesson. By my pen. The pen is mightier than the sword!"

Walker sighed. "Kalvin, that was only funny on the Gieco commercial..."


	10. The Slowpoke Scandel

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 10: The Slowpoke Scandel

After traversing a meaningless cave, the three reached Azalea Town. "It's so..." Jerry tried to say.

"It looks like a ghost town" Walker finished for him.

"No" Jerry corrected. "Like a fountain of youth."

Walker scratched his head. "Um...what?"

Jerry pointed to a rustic fountain. "See?"

"Uh...sure..."

Jerry put a coin in it. "I wish for an old man to appear."

"Jerry" Kalvin said with a smirk on his face. "Those machines don't work. I mean, do you see an old man here?" He was bopped on the head by a cane. "What the fail?"

An old man stood behind him. "Hmph. To be politically correct, the proper way to address a person of my age is a wiseman."

"How about call you a dead man?" Kalvin threatend, balling up his fist.

"Do you have to resort to violence with everyone?" Walker asked, sweatdropping. "We apologize, sir. Could you tell us...?"

"Is this fountain a fountain of youth?" Jerry asked, knocking Walker and Kalvin out of the way.

"I was going to ask why this is a ghost town..." Walker sighed.

"You jerk!" Kalvin roared. He got up and armed himself with a pipe.

"No pen?" Walker asked.

"It broke."

"Oh..."

The old man frowned. "No, it isn't a fountain of youth. My name is Kurt, by the way. I'm tracking down some thugs who I suspect have been stealing our town's Slowpoke."

"Why would you have a town that houses such a lazy Pokemon?" Kalvin asked.

Kurt bopped him over the head again. "I may be old, but I can still go toe to toe with you, youngster! We happen to like Slowpoke because they kept our town from running dry. They caused a rainshower that ended a long drought!" he calmed down and lowered his cane. "But...some gangsters have been lopping off their tails."

"Who are they?" Walker asked.

"Team Rocket." The three froze, knowing that Proton and Petrel must be behind the Slowpoke thefts.

"Where are they?" Kalvin asked. "We'll stab them out of town."

"Don't you mean, we'll drive them out of town?" Walker asked.

"No. I mean stab. I want to stab them until they..."

"Okay!" Jerry said quickly, cutting him off.

"You three know Team Rocket?" Kurt asked, astonished.

"Yeah" Jerry answered. "Their members are not funny."

"Or nice" Walker interjected. "One of them tried to kill us. We're hunting for Professor Elm, who they kidnapped. He told us to pick up and egg and give it back to him and since he wasn't there, the egg is dumped on us."

Kurt nodded. "I don't care about your story, but if you'll help me out, I'll give you some special balls." The three looked skeptical. "Pokeballs, I mean. Geez! You youngsters have to make everything sound perverted!"

Kalvin decided to have fun with Kurt. "Hey, old man! I see a quarter in that well." He pointed to the well.

"Really?" Kurt asked, running to the well. He tripped and fell in, apparently hitting someone along the way. "Ouch! You liar! All that I see is a crushed member of Team Rocket!"

"Nice work, Kalvin" Walker spay acidly. "You almost killed him." They ran into the well, making sure not to trip like Kurt did.

"Who are these punks?" a member of Team Rocket asked. "I'd better go get the admins!" He ran through the well to get them.

"What is this well anmed, anyway?" Jerry asked, helping Kurt up.

"Slowpoke Well. Thanks laddie."

"I should have guessed. Your welcome, old chap." Kurt smacked him upside the head with his cane.

"Enough old jokes! They're coming!"

"That's what she said!" Jerry joked.

"I said shut up!" Kurt yelled. Two members of the infamous Team Rocket arrived, looking at the three trainers and old Kurt.

"My, my. I see you survived our first encounter." Proton tipped his hat. "I suppose I should have tried just a bit harder."

"Proton!" Walker growled. "You're mine!"

"Hmph. You have an attitude problem, kid. As you wish though. This time I won't go easy on you! Grimer, take 'im out!"

"You're up, Chikorita!"

Petrel was thinking to himself out loud. "Now, who should I crush? Eeniee, meniee..."

Jerry sent out Totodile. "Totodile wants a rematch, not funny rocket."

"I want to play too!" Kalvin shouted, releasing Cyndaquil.

"Ah, splendid!" Petrel gasped, clapping his hands. "Two at once! I'll use Zubat! He's more than you ca=ould handle, anyway. Use Supersonic!" Zubat created an ultrasound wave that stung the ears of the three trainers and also affected one other battler.

"You idiot!" Proton shouted. "Noise is multiplied here in a cave so knock it off!"

"My bad" Petrel apologized.

"Don't take your eyes off of your opponent!" Walker shouted. "Chikorita, use Razor Leaf!" A leaf slammed into Grimer.

"Hmph. Cheap shot, kid. Grimer, use Poison Gas."

"Don't give it the chance! Razor Leaf!" Chikorita's leaf hit Grimer before it could unload its poisonous gas.

"Grah! Fine then, I'll retreat. For now." He took off with Walker in hot pursuit. "Petrel, we're leaving!"

"So soon?" he asked before noticing Walker hot on his heels. "I see now. As you wish. We'll abandon this project for now."

"Not so fast!" Kalvin cried. "Quick Attack!" Cyndaquil charged full speed at Zubat. The bat did a crafty aerial dodge and avoided the attack.

"Water Gun!" Jerry ordered. Totodile unleashed a stream of water that barely missed the flying bat. Petrel returned his Pokemon and dashed off, unleashing a smoke bomb behind him. Along with their admins, the other rockets.

"Cough...they're getting away!" Jerry coughed, trying to clear the smoke.

"Who cares?" Kurt asked. "At least the Slowpoke are safe!" He waded through the smoke and began petting a small Slowpoke's head. "It's okay, little one. You're tail will grow back."

"Yeah, that's first priority" Walker said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh yeah, about my balls..." Kurt said, digging into his pocket.

"Dude get away from us, you pedofile!" Jerry yelled in fright.

Kurt sighed and pulled out three specially made Pokeballs. "I swear...anyways, please take one each for your help." Walker took one. "What's this?"

"A Fast Ball. It works better on speedier Pokemon."

Jerry chose one next. "And this?"

"It's the Heavy Ball. It works best on heavier Pokemon."

Kalvin reluctantly chose the last one. "This one is...?"

Kurt smiled. "A Love Ball."

"Awwww!" Jerry teased.

"Shut up!" Kalvin shouted. He turned back to Kurt. "Old man...I mean, wiseman...who is old..." He was hit in the head with a cane. "Owwww!"

"The Love Ball works best on Pokemon of the opposite gender as the Pokemon you have out" Kurt explained. "Oh, you should train a bit. This town has a gym, you know?"

"The second gym badge..." Jerry smiled. "I'll take this one, guys!"


	11. That's what I call an angry bird

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 11: That's what I call an angry bird

Jerry had been training hard for his gym badge with his almost impossible training schedule. First, he did sleeping exercizes, which he did very well. He might have even been named a pro at it. Then, he played his PS2 for 10 hours, which exercized his mind and numbed his fingers. So, he went back to another sleeping exercize for 8 hours and finished with a whole 10 minutes of battle training. This process went on for about 4 days before Jerry found himself ready to face the gym leader.

"I'm pumped!" he shouted, punching his hand with his fist.

"From what?" Walker asked, sceptical. "Playing Ratchet and Clank?"

"Hey, I don't judge you about...you know."

"I know what?" Walker asked.

"About someone from fanfic who..."

"Okay, shut up!" Walker yelled. "That was an accident! A mistake! This is why I hate roleplay forums...Still, it wasn't so bad as what you saw on Smosh, thinking she was 18. Hahahahaha!"

"Dude, just drop it" Jerry grumbled. "She looked 18 in the picture I saw, okay?"

"Sure...anyways, where's Kalvin?"

"He decided to help out a charcoal man's kid by catching his Farfetch'd for him."

"I wonder how he's doing?" Walker asked himself as they entered the gym.

Meanwhile, in Ilex Forest...

Kalvin panted, turning around to see the wily bird behind him. "Stupid bird. I'll ctach you with my pen!" he cried, throwing it at Farfetch'd. The bird simply moved aside, dodging the projectile and jumped on his head, pecking at his face. "Get off you retarded bird!"

Back at the gym...

"Hello challengers" Bugsy, the gym leader, announced. "I will be your opponent for this battle." His blue hair was...strange yet not as strange as a character with green hair would be in Neopets, right? Sorry, I'll continue writing the story. "Who will I be battling?" Bugsy spoke with an Irish accent.

"I'll battle you" Jerry challenged, throwing out Totodile, who was jamming to a cd of Toby Keith. "Totodile, time to battle." Totodile shook off the headset and handed it back to his owner.

"That's...interesting..." Bugsy sweatdropped. Composing himself, he released a Scyther. "This is my pride and joy" Bugsy smiled, pointing at Totodile. "Fine! We will have a 1 on 1 battle for the Hive Badge! Scyther, we'll start with Quick Attack!" Scyther slammed into Totodile with blinding speed.

"Hold on, I wasn't ready!" Jerry yelled.

"Oh...are you ready now?" Jerry nodded. "Okay, Quick Attack...again." Scyther repeated his last attack, knocking Totodile to the ground.

"Totodile, use Water Gun!" Jerry cried. The water crocodile spat a stream of H2O at the praying mantis, but Bugsy had a surprise technique up his sleeve.

"Use Double Team." Suddenly, Scyther began multiplying into 15 more copies. If you can't imagine that, just think of the shadow clone jutsu on crack. Actually, don't. It isn't a pleasant thought. Believe it! Well, enough making fun of naruto...

"Darn...use Water Gun again until all the copies are gone." Totodile cleared out the copies with realative ease. (Sorry, naruto.) However, the real Scyther was gone! "Where did it go?" Jerry wondered, searching the sky. Totodile did the same.

"Look to the ground" Bugsy smiled. Scyther was flying in low, hugging the ground. It flew up slightly, lifting one arm. It slashed at Totodile cheaply and then flew up with great speed, avoiding further contact as it circled around for a second strike. As it struck again, Totodile swayed in pain.

"Why did the second time hurt worse than the first?" Jerry asked.

"The move is called Fury Cutter" Bugsy said with a grin. "It's a cheap attack that gets stronger each time the move is continually used. Pretty soon, it will be strong enough to knock out Totodile. Use your next attack wisely."

Scyther had already started its third descent as Jerry gave the order for Totodile to dodge. Totodile narrowly missed a collision course with defeat as Scyther swiped just inches away. "Quick! Jump on its back and use Ice Fang!" Totodile lept upwards and bit into Scyther, causing it to flinch slightly. Totodile rolled off of its back as Jerry got an idea. "Hey, Walker! Did you see that cool move?" However, Walker wasn't paying much attention.

"A fourth Tepig toy" he sighed, throwing an entire happy meal in the garbage. He saw Jerry glaring at him. "Oh right, morale support. Doing good, buddy!"

"Ah, shut up!" Jerry shot at him, turning his attention back to the battle. "Totodile, use Water Gun on the floor!" Scyther attempted another Fury Cutter. Totodile shot up like a rocket and dodged with space to spare.

"Clever trick" Bugsy said. "But, Scyther can fly so it won't matter. Go in with False Swipe!"

As Scyther flew at Totodile, arm lifted, Jerry made a rash decision. "Use Water Gun on the opposite wall!" Totodile turned and shot the wall behind him with water, propelling him towards the left wall. "Now use Water Gun on the ceiling!" Totodile again shot water at the intended target and was skyrocketed downward like a rock in the ocean. "Water Gun again! At the left wall!" Totodile began sparying water in all directions, sending the water crocodile flying in all directions. Bugsy and Scyther were unable to keep up.

"It's...so fast!" Bugsy shouted in surprise. Totodile once again shot out water at the ceiling, hitting Scyther, who had been just flying under him at the time. Both crashed to the ground. Totodile was standing, but just barely. Bugsy shook his head. "Looks like you won. That last strategy had my head spinning. Here's the Hive Badge."

Jerry smiled and accepted it. "Alright, I wonder if you can sell a badge for a PSP..."

Meanwhile, in Ilex Forest...still...

Kalvin was running at full speed, Farfetch'd behind him. The tiny bird was waving a leak around like there was no tomorrow and if Kalvin stopped, he was afraid there wouldn't be. "I hate birds!" he yelled.


	12. The Pen is Mightier than the Sword! jus

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 12: The Pen is Mightier than the Sword! (just kidding)

"So, where is Kalvin at?" Jerry asked.

"Who knows?" Walker answered, shrugging his shoulders.

Kalvin walked up with a roasted bird in hand. "Hey! I made dinner for tonight! By the way, if a little boy comes looking for his Farfetch'd, we didn't see it, okay?"

"Kalvin, don't tell me you cooked a..." Walker tried to say.

Kalvin shook his head. "Of course not! I just stuffed it ina forest shrine and locked it with a pen."

"Why not just use a piece of wood?" Jerry asked.

"The pen is mightier than the wood."

"What about a sword?" Walker suggested.

"I'm not doing that joke."

Walker frowned, scuffling his boots in the dirt. "But...but..."

"Save it for geico" Kalvin replied, bumping into a trainer dressed in all black clothes. "Hey, watch it or feel the wrath of my golden pen!"

"I thought you used your pen to lock up the Farfetch'd?" Jerry asked.

"I always care a spare" Kalvin explained, producing a second pen from his pocket. "And I have a silver pen, a crystal pen and an emergency pen, for when I don't have a pen."

"But, wouldn't you still have a pen?" Jerry tried to logically ask.

Kalvin stared at him for a moment. "...Shut up."

The boy in black turned and stared at them with cold, dark eyes. His hands reached for a Pokeball. "Hmph. You three sound like a group of lost losers."

Walker threw out a pokeball, releasing Mareep. "Oh yeah? I'll show you a loser! Mareep, use Thundershock!" The lightning sheep shocked his owner. "Good...job...Mareep..." he congratulated, fried to a crisp.

The boy wasn't impressed. "You just reinforced my statement. If your Pokemon won't even obey your commands, it is worthless."

"Who are you?" Kalvin asked, two pens at the ready.

"If you have to know, my name is Ralph. And yes, I have a cousin named Ralph who plays a childrens card game in place called New York City. Something about terminals. Anyways, get out of my way. There are no worthy Pokemon to be found here."

Jerry had a Pokeball in his hand. "Not before you battle me. Come on, if you're not scared."

The taunt proved effective. "Fine, if it will get you to shut up. Ursaring, at the ready!" The Pokeball burst open and a giant bear appeared, growling in response to being sent out to battle.

Jerry threw out his Pokeball. "Go, Slowpoke!"

"Slowpoke!" Walker and Kalvin cried.

"I caught it before we left Slowpoke Well" Jerry explained. "It's the only shiny Pokemon I've seen and I just had to have it." True to his word, the Slowpoke was indeed a different color. While most Slowpoke were found to be pink, this one was a light purple.

"That Pokemon is worthless. Ursaring, finish it off with Hammer Arm!" Ursaring's left arm began to glow as it charged for Slowpoke.

"Dodge, Slowpoke!" Jerry cried. Slowpoke remained still and was smacked into the air by Hammer Arm. "Why didn't it dodge?" Jerry wondered.

"Slowpoke is a slow Pokemon" Walker answered, sweatdropping.

"I...I knew that..." Jerry frowned, trying to regain his composure. "Now, where was I? Oh yeah! Slowpoke, use Water Pulse!"

"Use Slash before it hits the ground!" Ralph ordered. Ursaring slashed at Slowpoke, knocking it to the ground with a harsh strike of its claw.

"Slowpoke!" Jerry cried out. "Quickly, use Slack Off!" Slowpoke began goofing off as a purple aura spread around it.

"What's goig on with Slowpoke?" Kalvin asked. "Is it high off of Nerds? Because I didn't think it was possible. At least not the first twelve times I tried, anyway."

"No...and thanks for the anecdote, Kalvin" Walker answered. He began flipping through his Pokedex information. "That move appears to be Slack Off. It regains health for the user by goofing off."

"That...won't work" Ralph said, snapping his fingers. "Ursaring, use Giga Impact!" Ursaring began charging at Slowpoke.

"A TM move!" Walker exclaimed. "And a powerful one at that! Watch out, Jerry!"

Jerry sweatdropped slightly. "This is my only shot at victory. Use Water Pulse!" Slowpoke let loose a ball of water that encomposed the charging Ursaring. Unable to stop its advance, Ursaring fell prey to the attack and, turning to the right, charged head first into the trees.

"Ursaring!" Ralph shouted. "Snap out of it!"

"He confused it" Kalvin said, stunned.

"The chances of that are about the same as someone playing the Pokemon TCG and using a Smokescreen attack from a Horsea to stop a Blaziken from winning the battle and nearly causing the opposing trainer to lose a battle for the king of a lunchtable!" Walker exclaimed.

"That's very specific" Kalvin stated, crossing his arms.

"Okay, okay. I know. To be less specific, I'd say a 50/50 chance."

Ralph returned his Pokemon. "Hmph. You got lucky, that's all. I'm still better than you." he pushed his way through the three friends.

Jerry returned his Slowpoke. "Yeah! The power of Slowpoke can only be defeated by..."

"A faster Pokemon?" Walker replied.

"Actually, I was going to say Wendy's two for one deal on chicken sandwiches, but your statement sounds wiser."

Walker slapped his head. "Talking with you throws common sense out the window..."

Jerry smiled. "Well, you were the one who asked."

"Did not!" Walker shouted.

"Yeah, you did, dude."

"I did not!" He slapped Jerry upside the head.

"Dude! What the bacon, man?" Jerry then sent out Slowpoke and ordered it to use Water Gun on Walker.

"Cheese on a bun!" Walker growled. "I'll get you for this, Jerry! I'll...!" He was suddenly thrown into the air. "Whaaaaaaaaaaa! I hate heights!"

"That's Slowpoke's Confusion" Jerry announced, returning the Pokemon. "Hey, something shiny!"

Walker fell to the ground and headed for an old shrine. He took out a pen that was holding the door shut. "I'll...!"

"You idiot!" Kalvin screamed. "That was where I threw it!"

"It?" Walker turned to see a Farfetch'd run out the door at lightning speed, chasing after Kalvin with its leek in hand.


	13. Donations, anyone? No? Bummer!

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 13: Donations, anyone? No? Bummer!

Goldenrod City is only another 10 miles" Walker read from the guidebook.

"Finally!" Jerry gasped, collapsing.

"What's the matter with you?" Kalvin asked. "You can't be exausted already."

"I wouldn't be..." Jerry grunted. "If I didn't have to carry a certain someone because he is afraid of a leek wielding bird!"

Kalvin frowned. "Look, let's not bring that up again, alright? Now, please walking steadier from now on. I'm trying to read Showdown at Centerpoint. It is the third book in the Corellian Trilogy, you know?"

Jerry threw him off his back. "Enough of the free limo service. Let's just get to our third gym battle."

A trainer with red hair and dressed as a clown appeared. "Hello, friends! You don't know me, but I am Bonzo the clown. Atn your service." He bowed slightly, expecting applause which didn't come. "Fine. I've come to Goldenrod for a battle. Would one of you care to take on my powerful Ariados?" He let out the spider Pokemon to show off.

Walker frowned, scratching his head. "How can we trust you? You might be with Team Rocket..."

"Who me?" Bonzo laughed. "Just because I watch Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi doesn't mean I'm in a criminal gang."

Walker's eyes lit up. "You watch that show too! Awesome! We can totally trust you!" He threw out Mareep.

"Do you think Mareep will listen to you?" Jerry asked.

"He's too trusting" Kalvin pointed out, using a pen to mark the page in his book.

"Go back to your book, Kalvin" Walker spat. "And Mareep will listen to me. Rigth, buddy?" Mareep responded by shocking him. "Yep! This is going to go fine..."

Bonzo sweatdropped. "Yeah...Ariados, use Shadow Sneak." Ariados disappeared and then reappeared behind Mareep, attacking it from behind.

"Darn...Mareep, use Thundershock." To his surprise, Mareep listened to him, sending out an elcetric attack towards Ariados.

"Dodge!" Bonzo ordered, squeezing a horn. Ariados jumped to the side, dodging the attack.

"Mareep, let's get him with another Thundershock!" He had barely got the words out when Ariados struck again, this time with blinding speed. "What was that?" He turned to Jerry. "Hey, could you hand me my guidebook...Why are you wearing a mastodon head?"

Jerry shrugged. "I'm a mastodon choujin!"

"Okay...just hand me the guidebook, okay?" Jerry threw it at his face. "Jerk.." Thumbing through the booklet, Walker discovered the attack move. "Sucker Punch...hmm..." He pointed at Ariados. "Use Cotton Spore!" Mareep let loose a stunning fountain of spores, entangling Ariados in them.

"We aren't afraid of spores. Shadow Sneak attack!" Bonzo cried. Ariados attempted the attack, however it was too slow as Mareep shocked it with a powerful, electric attack. "Ariados!" Bonzo shouted.

"Cotton Spore lowers the enemy's speed. As for the move I used, it is called Charge Beam, a TM I picked up a while ago. Now, Thundershock!" Mareep fried Ariados with a stronger Thundershock. "I also forgot to mention that itcan also increase the user's special attack, which boosts attacks like Thundershock."

Bonzo smiled as he returned Ariados. "Nice. You defeated me, I guess. Here, I'll shed my clown suit for you."

"Okay, public stripping is a felony!" Walker cried, turning away.

"What? I've got clothes underneath..."

"Oh..."

An old lady shouted at Bonzo. "I wanted to see some skin! Darn youngsters!" She threw a cane at Kalvin. "This is all your fault!"

Kalvin broke the cane in half. "Fine! I'm not sending the retirement home any more donations!"

"You never gave them a donation" Jerry flatly stated, sweatdropping.

"Well yeah. But now they'll never get any cash from me. Besides, I'm too busy watching one of my favorite movies, Fist of Fury."

Walker shook hands with Bonzo, who proved himself to be just an everyday clown in the Pokemon circus. "Maybe we'll see each other at the Johto League" Walker stated.

"I hope so. You were a worthy opponent. Would you like to borrow my Puffy AmiYumi poster?"

"How about if I buy it from you? We'll start the bidding at 30 dollars."

Bonzo took out a poster of Puffy AmiYumi. "30 dollars is twice what I spent at the fela market for it."

"I'd pay a more reasonable price, but this isn't my money. I took it out of Kalvin's pen expenses piggybank.

"So that's what happened to my piggybank!" Kalvin screamed. You said a wild Golbat was terrorizing a twon and you had to give it away in order to save the mayor!"

"Yeah, about that...um...yeah..."

"I have to go now" Bonzo said, waving goodbye. "I already got my third badge, so I'll catch you later!"

Kalvin decided to ask a question. "What exactly did you do with my wallet, anyway? I don't believe that you gave it to a pack of Lickitung like you said, did you?"

"No. I gave it to a fundraiser to help Steven Silver, the film director. Man, I feel for the guy. Not getting any good movies."

**References:**

Steven Silver

Mammothman

Fist of Fury

Showdown at Centerpoint


	14. Nice to Mime You

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 14: Nice to Mime You

Walker, Jerry and Kalvin officially entered Goldenrod City. "I want to use my new Voltorb" Kalvin stated, holding the Pokeball in triumph.

"I still can't believe you entered a Pokemon circus" Walker sighed, shaking his head.

"It was great...until Jerry threw a pie at my face!"

Jerry chuckled lightly. "Come on, Kalvin. You know it was funny."

"So is me stabbing you with my eraser!"

Walker and Jerry exchanged looks. "Is it the end of the world?" Walker asked, ohrror in his voice.

"It must be!" Jerry agreed, trying to hide.

"Look" Kalvin grunted. "I can change my catchphrase every once in awhile."

"Could you warn us next time?" Walker suggested. "I thought I heard Death's horse's footprints."

"He's just trying to accquit War of his crimes" Jerry explained, laughing.

A black and white dressed mime motioned for Kalvin, taking out a Pokeball. "Move out of the way, mime!" Kalvin shouted. The mime shook his head and proceeded to release his Pokemon, Mr. Mime. "Mime, mime!"

"I think he wants to battle you" Walker said, reading a book of mime speech. "Either that or he wants a deluxe, ultra super secret, spy decoder pen."

"You'll never get your hands on my deluxe, super secret, spy decoder pen!" Kalvin roared. "Voltorb, go!"

"There's actually such a thing as a deluxe, super secret, spy decoder pen?" Jerry asked.

"Nothing is impossible" Walker reminded him. "Remember when we entered the Unicorn Writer's Conference?"

(Flashback)

"I knew we should have taken a left turn" Walker grumbled.

"Dude, I know where I'm driving" Jerry said, turning the Ford Kuga into a parking spot. "Here we are! Chuckie Cheese!"

Walker sweatdropped. "Actually, I think this is the Unicorn Writer's Conference building."

"What makes you say that?" Jerry asked.

"The sign that says Unicorn Writer's Conference building posted right next to the parking spot."

"Oh...well, if unicorn is in the name, it can't be so bad." Jerry led Walker inside, where a bunch of writing unicorns looked up at them suspisiously. Jerry gulped. "Um...hi? My friend drove us here...I mean, I don't know him." Jerry bolted, leaving Walker in the room with angry unicorns.

"Nice unicorns...good unicorns...so, how's the weather today?"

(End Flashback)

"Dude, that was funny!" Jerry laughed.

"Maybe for you! But not for me!"

"Voltorb, use Spark attack!" Kalvin ordered. Voltorb crackled with electricity and charged at Mr. Mime. The mime tried to create an invisible box around it. "What is he doing?" Kalvin asked himself.

"Maybe he's telling Mr. Mime how to battle through movement" Walker suggested.

"Or he's constapated" Jerry laughed.

Mr. Mime mimicked its trainer and Voltorb rammed into an invisible shiled. "What move is that?" Kalvin wondered.

"Looks like a Barrier attack" Walker read from his Pokemon Attack Guidebook. "It raises the enemies's defense."

"Doesn't matter!" Kalvin declared. "Break through it!" Voltorb broke through it and hit Mr. Mime, who retaliated with a doubleslap attack, an electric bolt of lightning transfered to its body. "Yes!" Kalvin shouted. "Paralyzed it with Static ability!" However, the mime shook his head and just like that, Mr. Mime was cured of its status affliction.

"Before you ask" Walker quickly explained. "That was a Cheri Berry. It cures Paralysis instantly. But, now it is gone, so..."

"Good! Again, Voltorb!" Voltorb tried to use Spark again, however Mr. Mime used Doubleslap again, again being paralyzed. "Good! Now stay paralyzed...huh?"

The mime began dancing weird and making an environmental symbol with his hands. Suddenly, Mr. Mime copied him and the Cheri Berry reappeared. Mr. Mime ate it, allieviating it from the status condition once again. "That move was Recycle" Walker explained. "It reuses a held item in battle. That mime is clever."

"You're good with mime speak" Jerry clapped. "You should be a Ghost Tracker."

"I was...it didn't work out so well..."

(Flashback)

Walker walked into a haunted house. "So, I just look for ghosts, right?"

"Yes. Did you bring your ghost hunting gear?" the show's producer asked.

"Yep! Let's see..." Walker unloaded his supplies from his army sized bag. "One pack of trident gum, three playing cards to confuse enemy ghosts, a Ghost Busters soundtrack for added effect, a half eaten club sandwich I plan to eat later and a Twilight poster to scare the ghosts out of hiding."

"You're fired..." the producer said lamely.

(End Flashback)

"Man, that poster would have scared me for sure" Jerry gulped, shivering.

"I know. I would have been a great Ghost Tracker. Might have even made it into the hall of fame."

Kalvin grunted as Voltorb was thrown back by Psychic. "Voltorb, use Rollout!" Voltorb curled into a ball and rolled at Mr. Mime. Once again, the mime made an invisible box and Mr. Mime used Barrier attack. Voltorb slammed into the Barrier and rolled backwards slightly. "Rollout again! And again! Keep using Rollout until the Barrier breaks!" Kalvin roared.

"That's pretty clever" Walker said, arms folded.

"Because it will increase in damage each time it is used, eventually one hitting Mr. Mime and making Kalvin the winner if the battle?" Jerry asked.

"Correct. I give you a B." He handed Jerry a letter card reading "B".

"Look ma! No hands!" Jerry cried happily.

Voltorb finally broke through Barrier and slammed into Mr. Mime, defeating it instantly. The mime bowed in defeat and left. "What did he say?" Kalvin asked, taking out his favoirte pen, nicknamed Mr. Pen.

"That he found you to be a worthy rival" Walker answered. "He also said his name is Jenkins. As well as the fact that deluxe, super secret, spy decoder pens are so last year and that he owns a late edition platinum spy unraveler pen with a golden eye sticker attached to the cap."

Kalvin roared out loud. "Nobody can have a better pen than me! Nobody! I will get that pen!" He charged forward, trying to stop the mime and beat him up for his pen.

"We should totally be called the tactical strike force, Scarface" Jerry announced.

"How about no?" Walker suggested.

"Well, we can agree that Twilight sucks."

"Yes...but...that has nothing to dow ith what I was...aw, forget it."


	15. Lying in Goldenrod City

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 15: Lying in Goldenrod City

Walker entered the Goldenrod City gym. "Alright, who do I have to challenge around here to win a badge?"

"That would be me" a red haired woman answered. "I am Whitney. If you win, I'll give you the Plain Bade. Though I know you won't even be able to scratch my Pokemon. We'll go two on two."

"We'll see about that, you cocky brat..." Walker muttered, releasing his Mareep.

"Hmph. Go, Clefairy." Whitney's Clefairy danced around excitedly. "Use Metrenome attack."

"That attacks is so random, you never know what attack will occur!" Walker gasped.

"I know. Isn't it wonderful?" Whitney asked witha smile.

"Not really..." Walker sweatdropped, staring out the gym window. "Would have been nice if my friend decided to show morale support by attending my battle."

In the Goldenrod gambling hall, Kalvin was flipping the right Pokemon cards over while Jerry was dominating the slot machines. "This is so much fun!" Jerry laughed, pulling down the slot machine reel.

"Yeah, but don't you think we're forgetting something?" Kalvin asked.

"Walker's Pokemon battle?" Jerry asked, tilting his head.

"No, not that. I said something we forgot, not something we ignored."

"Oh. Yeah, we forgot to buy me a new Jutte. Mine broke last week."

"Why do you carry a Jutte?" Kalvin asked.

"Well, in case someone decides to try to steal my Pokemon, of course. Last week, I was walking through the city while Walker was training and you were playing Halo Reach and I met someone who looked exactly like Scott Ross. It wasn't him, but the guy looked so similar! Anyways, we got in a knife fight and my Jutte broke."

Kalvin yawned in his poker seat. "Really? Or did you just break the tip trying to open a can of tuna?"

"Okay, so I glamored it up a bit" Jerry confessed. "But you got to admit, my story was so much better than a can of tuna."

Back to the gym battle, Walker couldn't believe his incredible bad luck. Clefairy's Metrenome attack had baffled him. First a Focus Blast, then a Heatwave and finally a Rock Blast! What move could be next? Whitney smirked to herself. "What's the matter, young trainer? Unable to defeat my weakest Pokemon? Hahahahaha! You're too scared to even attack!"

"I am not" Walker grunted. "Mareep, quick! Use Chargebeam!" Mareep waited a moment before ignoring orders and using Charge. "Great, just store up more power in your already charged up body." Mareep frowned and used Thundershock on its trainer.

"Hahahaha! You can't even control it? Too bad for you! Clefairy, finish this with another Metrenome." Clefairy wiggled its fingers and a blast of water smashed into the electric sheep, knocking it out.

"Even a Hydro Pump? Darn. Where's my luck at?" Walker had only one Pokemon left. "Go, Chikorita! Use Razor Leaf!" A flurry of leaves smacked into Clefairy.

"Metrenome!" Whitney screamed. Clefairy wiggled its fingers once again and produced a powerful electric ball. With one motion, it fired it at Chikorita, instantly paralyzing it. "Wow, a Zap Cannon as well? I must be pretty lucky. Or just really preety." She giggled a bit.

"Yeah, whatever. Chikorita, shake it off and come through for me. Use Body Slam!" Chikorita shook its head and rammed into Clefairy, knocking it out. "Good work, Chikorita." Suddenly, Cjhikorita's body began to glow with light. "No way! It's evolving!"

Back at the casino, however, things weren't so bright. "You spent all of our money!" Jerry shouted. "Dude, how could you?"

"I was having a hot streak" Kalvin admitted.

"So you bet over a quarter of a million Pokedollars on a Poliwag card?"

"Yeah...maybe I shouldn't have done that."

"Oh well" Jerry sighed. "At least it was Walker's money. By the way, you know the story, right?"

"Yeah. We got mugged by two Easter Bunnies jamming out to the Mortal Kombat: More Kombat album on their MP3s and they hopped away with the cash into the sunset" Kalvin reiterated.

"Exactly. That reminds me of a story."

"What is it this time?" Kalvin sighed.

"Well, I was once given the role of Alec Baldwin in Brooklyn Rules. Of course, I turned down the role in favor of becoming a Pokemon trainer and completeing my calander girl collection, but...the offer was still there, right until the moment they started shooting with Baldwin."

"I would have taken the role" Kalvin said.

Meanwhile, back at the gym...

Walker pumped his fist into the air. "Okay Bayleaf! Let's kick some Pokebutt! Who's next?"

"Don't get overconfidant. You haven't defeated my Miltank!" The mooing Pokemon was ready to fight. "Use Gyro Ball!" The cow slowly began to turn, then generating a momentum, flew at bayleaf.

"Darn! Bayleaf, counter with Solarbeam!"

Whitney cracked up. "Solarbeam! Hahahahahaha! You need time to charge that up and my Miltank will easily knock you out before..." He words died down as Bayleaf fired a lightning quick Solarbeam at Miltank, knocking it out. "But...how?"

"Easy. Bayleaf was holding a Power Herb, which cuts down on the time needed for longer attacks like Solarbeam and Skullbash. I'll be taking my badge now."

"No! You don't deserve it!" Whitney cried.

Walker facefell. "Are you joking me! Wait, what about if you give me the Plain badge and I'll show it to my friends to gloat and all and come back and maybe kissy kiss?"

Whitney blushed. "Oh...okay. Here, hurry and gloat." As Walker left, she began staring at herself in a pocket mirror. "I may need more make up."

Kalvin and Jerry approached Walker as he exited the gym. "Hey, did you win?" Jerry asked. Walker nodded, but didn't say anything, quickening his pace.

"About your money..." Kalvin tried to explain. "It was taken. By two Easter Bunnies..."

Walker wheeled around on his heels. "I don't care about my money! I knew you'd spend all of it at the casino! Now let's book out of town!"

"Why?" Jerry asked.

"It's best if you don't ask. Now, if you're finished with 20 Questions here, let's scram!" Shurgging their shoulders, Jerry and Kalvin followed Walker's fast pace out of town.

Whitney exited the gym five minutes later. "Walker? Hello? Did you gloat to your friends yet? Hello?"


	16. Quit Bugging Me!

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 16: Quit Bugging Me!

"The bug catching contest?" Kalvin asked. "Sounds buggy."

"You can catch bug Pokemon and also win big prizes" Walker said, reading a brochure. "First place wins a free plate of steak tartare."

"What's that?" Jerry asked.

"You know, the fancy food seen at rich places?"

"Oh. Boring!"

Walker rolled his eyes. "You outta love this, Kalvin. Second prize wins a pack of connector pens."

Kalvin grinned. "I'm going to win second place."

Jerry hopped into his new car. "Come on. I'll drive us."

"Why does that car look like the Munster Koach?" Walker asked.

Jerry shrugged. "Couldn't be because I took it from the tv set or anything. By the way, if you see the police ask if you if you've seen Big Boss, tell them I'm dead."

Walker and Kalvin shook their heads. "Whatever..." They hopped into the Munster Koach and drove off for the bug catching contest. However, they were being stalked by a red headed monster. As they approached the contest park, they recognized a couple of familiar faces.

"What are you losers doing here?" Ralph asked, giving them a cold glare.

"Winning some connector pens!" Kalvin yelled.

Ralph shook his head. "Idiots..."

Bonzo waved at them, dressed in his clown suit. "Yo! How's it going, bros?"

Walker gave him a peace sign. "Not much. Ready to enter the bug catching contest."

"Sounds cool" Bonzo nodded. "I plan to win some connector pens myself." Kalvin glared at him menacingly. "I meant, some steak tartare."

"You'll have to defeat me for it" Walker challenged.

"You're on!" Giving each other a fist bump, the friends, and Ralph, headed inside the building. The announcer of the contest got on his podium eagerly.

"Welcome to the 300th weekly bug catching contest!" he announced, blaring into the microphone. He coughed and lowered his voice a bit. "We appreciate all the support and hope that everyone comes out a winner with bug passion!" He waited for an applause. "Okay...anyways, you have thirty minutes to find and catch a bug Pokemon. Once you have done so, you can come back here and waited for the official judging. Remember, first place prize is a plate of steak tartare and second prize is a set of connector pens. Now...begin!"

Everyone scattered into the National Park to get their bug Pokemon. Walker walked into a patch of grass. "What's that yellow striped Pokemon?" he wondered. It appeared to be sleeping. Peering closer, he noticed a stinger on the end of it. "Darn...that's a Beedrill...I better stay quiet." Walker tried to sneak off, but Bonzo ran over to him.

"Hey! So, did you find anything yet?" The Beedrill woke up and soared into the air, ready to strike.

"Nice job, Bozo!" Walker screamed, running in a circle while the Beedrill chased them.

"The name is Bonzo" the clown corrected.

"I know what your name is!" Walker shouted.

Meanwhile, in another area of the park, Jerry had found himself a strange bug Pokemon. It looked like a grenade. Jerry took out his Pokedex to examine it. "Hmmm...A Pineco. That looks like it might net some big points." He palmed a Pokeball. "Go, Totodile! Use Water Gun!" The miniature crocodile squirted water at Pineco, weakening it slightly. "Good. Now use Ice Fang!" Totodile charged at Pineco, biting it on the head. Jerry tossed a Pokeball at it, catching it without fail. "Good! Time to return..." He noticed a black blimp in the air. A red "R" symbol was painted on the sides. "Team Rocket!" he cried out.

Proton floated to the ground. "Good. I've infiltrated the park. Now to take some rare bug Pokemon and scram." Jerry ran toward him. "Oh great. A brat wants to play...wait a second. I've seen him before."

Jerry took out Pineco's Pokeball. "What are you doing here, Proton?"

Proton scoffed at him. "Nothing that you need to be concerned about, kid. Why don't you go crawling back to your friends?"

Jerry released Pineco. "Nothing doing."

"Fine" Proton spat. "I'll have to make you. Koffing, take 'im out!" Koffing floated sleepily in the air above. "Hey, wake up ya punky Pokemon! We got a battle going on here!" Koffing's eyes snapped opened and it nodded. "Good. Use Smokescreen to fog this kid's day up." Koffing released a cloud of smoke from its holes.

"Use Rapid Spin to clear the smoke!" Jerry commanded. Pineco spun in a circle multiple times, disapating the smoke around it. However, Koffing was able to hit it with a Sludge attack.

"Assurance" Proton ordered. Koffing smacked into Pineco, knocking it back a few yards.

"Pineco!" Jerry cried.

"Assurance is a move that does more damage if the target has already taken damage" Proton explained. "Use Sludge again!"

Jerry frowned. "Pineco, hold your ground!" The sludge soared toward Pineco, however the Pokemon acted on its own free will and placed a barrier up to avoid damage. The sludge harmlessly slipped off the shield.

"What was that?" Proton gasped.

"That looks like Protect" Jerry said, rememkbering hearing about it from Walker before. "Cool. Bug Bite!" Pineco lept at the surprised Koffing and took a bite out of it. Proton recalled his Pokemon.

"Hmph. It appears this isn't as easy as I thought. Fine. I'll use this Pokemon..." He stopped and activated a jetpack attached to his back. "Looks like I have orders to leave you be. For now, anyway. Don't worry. We will meet up again shortly." Proton flew back to the blimp at rocket speed. Jerry returned Pineco and stared as the blimp slowly turned around. Shrugging his shoulders, he hastened his pace for the contest judging hall.

Meanwhile, Kalvin was locked in battle with Ralph. "Quilava! Use Swift on Butterfree!" Quilava released a stream of stars at the flying butterfly.

"Dodge Butterfree!" Ralph shouted. Butterfree spun around the stars with grace. "Your evolution doesn't make it any faster than my Butterfree."

"Maybe not" Kalvin admitted. "But It is still stronger. Use Flamewheel!" Quilava curled itself into a ball and spiraled toward Butterfree.

"Psybeam!" Ralph ordered. Butterfree created a psychic beam that crashed into Quilava, sending it hurtling to the ground. The impact of the ground knocked out the fire breathing hedgehog. "Yeah right. Stringer than what? A toothpick?" He walked away casually. "I don't even care about the prizes. For me, this contest was a waste of time." Kalvin returned Quilava and ran to the contest judging hall.

The judge looked at all the caught bug Pokemon. "They all look pretty good to me...If I had to choose the best one, I'd have to go with Bonzo's Beedrill." Everyone clapped as Bonzo recieved his plate of steak tartare.

"Thank you for the honor" he said with a bow. "I never would have caught it without the help of my friend, Walker." He pointed to Walker, who was slumped against the wall, out of breath. "Would you like to say a few words?" Bonzo asked. Walker gasped for breath. "Okay, never mind. Thank you all again!"

The judge stared at the remaining Pokemon. "And now for the second best...um...I'll go with Jerry's Pineco." Everyone once again clapped. Jerry went to the podium to accept his prize, but Kalvin snacthed it from the judge's hands.

"I'd like to thank my friend Jerry for giving me these awesome connector pens" he said.

"I never said you could have those, Kalvin" Jerry grunted, annoyed that his prize was taken.

"Yeah whatever. Thanks man." As he was celebrating, two police officers broke the door down.

"We heard that the infamous car stealer, Big Boss, is in here!" one of them shouted. "Come out with your hands up!"

"Quick!" Jerry shouted, taking off. "To the batmobile!"

Walker and Kalvin followed close behind. "You even stole the batmobile?" Walker asked.

"It wasn't being used or anything" Jerry admitted.

"What's next?" Kalvin asked. "Santas's sleigh?"

"No..." Jerry lied, looking away as he whistled.


	17. Do You Love the Batmobile?

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 17: Do You Love the Batmobile?

The trio of trainers were on their way to the next gym in Ecruteak City when they heard a rustling in the bushes behind them. "That might be a Stantler" Walker said, looking in his guidebook. "They are frequently found around here."

"Kalvin would like one of those!" Jerry joked.

"What do you mean?" Kalvin asked, playing with his connector pens.

"Stantler can make a sensation that mirrors being high" Walker explained.

"Oh. Then yeah!" Kalvin took out a Pokeball. "Go, Pokeball!" he shouted, tossing it into the grass. However, isnatead of a flash of light, all that happened was a girly scream and a conking sound.

"I don't think that was a Pokemon" Jerry sweatdropped.

Whitney emerged from the grass. "Owwww! Who threw that?"

Walker gulped and hid behind a tree. "Yikes!"

Whitney blinked. "Hey. Did I just see Walker here?"

Kalvin and Jerry both pointed to the tree. "He's behind that tree" Kalvin politely volunteered.

Walker sighed and came out of hiding, whispering a slew of unrepeatable comebacks. "Um...hi Whitney..." The red headed gym leader embraced him and his eyes bulged. "Losing...air...!" he gasped.

"When you ran off, I thought you might have been joking about us being a couple and then I followed you and here you are! You know, I thought that was you playing in the park."

"Who is she?" Kalvin asked.

"She must be digging him because of my batmobile" Jerry explained. "It always was a chick magnet."

"You told us you had it for three days" Kalvin said.

"Yeah and all three of those days, a girl has walked past. Got to have some magnetic powers, am I right?"

"No."

Jerry frowned."Well thanks for making me feel bad, Kalvin."

Walker broke free from Whiteny's strong grasp and began panting. "Someone call S.H.I.E.L.D. to revie me!" he cried.

Whitney giggled. "You're so funny, Walker. You know, we're in a forest so how about we cuddle?"

"Why would you want to cuddle in a forest?" Jerry asked, getting no response.

Walker caught his second wind and frowned at her. "Whitney, I'm going to tell you this once. I only told you I liked you to get the Plain Badge because you were being a spoiled brat. Sorry to hurt your feelings."

Whitney started to weep. "You mean...you don't like me?" A sudden thought hit her. "Then we'll battle! If I win, then we'll officially start dating..."

"What!" Walker cried. "Hold on a second...!"

"Chansey, go!" She tossed a Pokeball and a nurse Pokemon appeared. "Now, who will you use?"

Walker tried to pick a Pokemon when the egg that Professor Elm had dumped on them began to hatch. An egglike Pokemon appeared, still in a half eggshell. "That's a Togepi!" Walker shouted in amazement. "Okay! Togepi, let's battle Chansey! And please don't lose." Togepi looked at him with a confused look and then turned to its opponent.

"How cute!" Whitney squeeled. "Our first child!"

Walker made a gagging sound. "Please excuse me while I hurl..."

Whitney giggled again. "You love me, you'll see. Chansey, use Egg Boomb!" Chansey tossed eggs at the egg Pokemon. Togepi dodged frantically, but was still unable to avoid all of the projectiles.

"You know" Jerry remarked. "I think that our lives are going to be similar to this game I have for ps3."

"How so?" Kalvin asked.

"Well, I'll be like John Marston, you'll be like Uncle and Walker will turn out like Irish."

"You mean he will become an Irish person?" Kalvin asked.

"No. I mean he will become a drunken arms dealer" Jerry corrected.

"Oh" Kalvin replied. "Yeah, that sounds like him."

"Metrenome!" Walker yelled. Togepi waved its fingers and its body became shrouded in an electric aura. It charged at Chansey and slammed into the bigger Pokemon, causing only minor damage to both. "Darn...even a Volt Tackle can't break Chansey...The recoil damage doesn't help either." And Air Cutter and Gunk Shot were less help."

"Egg Bomb again!" Whitney ordered. A ton of eggs were slung, damaging Togepi heavily. It became knocked out. "Looks like I won! You do love me!"

Walker gulped. "Guys, Phalanx Formation!" Kalvin and Jerry shrugged, taking up positions in a semi-retangular formation.

"This works better with four people" Jerry pointed out.

"Yeah I know!" Walker snapped. "Just get me out of here!" The trio hopped into the batmobile and with Jerry behind the wheel, took off at high speed. Whitney was in hot pursuit, stealing a man's bicycle.

"Hey!" the man shouted, throwing his ipod onto the ground.

"Don't worry!" Jerry laughed. "I'll shake her off!" The car took a sharp turn and slammed into a tree, destroying it.

Whitney took one look at the wreck and shrugged. "Oh well. He will be okay. We will meet again in Paradise City." She skipped off. However, hidden with the tree's leaves above...

"Don't worry" Walker said to a crying Jerry. "I'll buy you a new batmobile...somehow...probably not..."

"My baby is gone!" Jerry cried. Suddenly, his face turned to a happier one. "Oh well. I still have Santa's sleigh."

"I knew you had it!" Kalvin shouted, falling out of the tree.


	18. Triple Battle Blues Part 1

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 18: Triple Battle Blues Part 1

"Welcome to Ecruteak City" Walker read off of a large, blue sign. "You know, I thought we were almost to Ecruteak."

"Then why didn't we get here quicker?" Jerry asked, still mourning the loss of his stolen batmobile.

"Because we had to chase a Hoothoot whom you decided to name Kazooie!" Kalvin shouted.

"You seem angry..." Jerry pointed out.

"I am! Because of your need of my connector pens, I lost my prize from the bug catching contest!"

"You mean, my prize" Jerry corrected. "And you didn't lose them. I sold them."

"What?"

Jerry told Kalvin the story. "You see, after the bug catching contest, you fell asleep when we outran the cops so I stole the pens back, found out I could sell them on Ebay and did so. I used the money to buy Bioshock 1 and 2."

Kalvin's eyes became full of rage. "Then what were the pens you threw at the Hoothoot?" he hissed.

"Your golden collector's edition Disney pens."

Kalvin raised his fists. "You jerkface!"

Walker sighed. "Come on, you guys. It can't be worse than my experience."

"What could possibly equal in pain and suffering to losing my prized pens?" Kalvin wailed.

"I bought the new Linken Park cd, A Thousand Suns, a week ago" Walker explained. "I don't know what I was thinking. The Catalyst was a horrible song and after hearing it and how rap sounding it was, I just...curled up into a ball and cried all night long."

"I feel sorry for you" Kalvin said, giving his friend a dollar.

"Thanks Kalvin" Walker wept, turning to Jerry. "You were right" he whispered. "He fell for it like a rock sinking into the ocean."

"I told you so" Jerry whispered back.

The three headed towards a large building that said gym. "Here it is, the Ecruteak City gym!" Walker announced. "Jerry, you want to take this one?"

"Yeah!" Jerry replied with a nod. "My Bioshock skills make me a good match for this one." The three walked inside, noting how dark it was. In an instant, all the lights flipped on and five girls dressed in kimonos were dancing, each having a mischivious look in thier eyes.

"It's a trap!" the cried out, assuming battle positions.

One of the girls giggled. "How amusing. Our little trick to rig the building to look like the gym has caught us three trainers." She turned to the others. "Shall we have some fun?"

"Yes" another agreed. "I want to battle them as well."

"Me too!" a third exclaimed.

"Wait, what about me?" a fourth asked.

"I'm definently going to mop the floor with them!" the last one declared.

"Wait a moment sisters" the first replied gracefully. "We should draw straws to see who battles. After all, there are three of them and five of us. Therefore, we need three battlers."

"Do you have any clue what they are talking about?" Walker asked.

"Women are the hardest creatures on Earth to understand, so no" Jerry said.

Three of the kimono sisters stepped forward, on wearing blue, one wearing black and the last wearing light purple. "Hello trainers" the one wearing the blue kimono declared. "Sorry to trick you, but we have been bored lately. My name is Kuni and these are two of my sisters. The one in the black kimono is Zuki and the one in the light purple kimono is Sayo. I will battle first so who wishes to take me on?"

"How about if we just take you all on at once?" Walker suggested.

"That sounds interesting" Kuni agreed. "Fine. Three on three. Choose your Pokemon."

Walker nodded. "This will be a good chance to test our skills, guys. Go, Mareep!" The electric sheep greeted him with a light shock. "I'm happy to see you too..."

Jerry threw out Pineco."I just know we'll do good at this battle."

Kalvin tossed out Quilava. "We're ready. What are your Pokemon?"

The three kimono sisters giggled. "Okay" Kuni said with a smile. "Go, Vaporeon!"

"Espeon!" Sayo called out.

"Destroy them, Umbreon!" Zuki yelled.

"They're so cute!" Jerry admired.

"They're Eevolutions so of course they're cute" Walker pointed out.

"I was talking about the girls..." Jerry sweatdropped.

Walker sighed. "You're hopeless. At least Kalvin isn't going gaga over them..." Kalvin's face had hearts replacing his eyes. "Come on, Kalvin! You have a girlfriend!"

Sayo made the first move. "Espeon, start out with Swift! Aim for Quilava!"

Kalvin clicked a pen. "Quilava, use Smokescreen!" Quilava's mouth emitted a burst of smog into the air, shrouding the arena in its dark enclosure. Still the stars hit Quilava. "What are they, heatseeking stars?" Kalvin asked.

"No" Walker replied. "Swift is a move that never misses. It hits without fail."

"I hope they don't use that again..." Jerry winced. Umbreon emerged from the clearing smoke and tackled Pineco. "How did that hit?" he wondered.

"That was Faint Attack" Walker explained. "Another fail safe move that always hits."

"We need to turn this around" Kalvin stated.

Kuni giggled. "Too easy! Hydro Pump!" Vaoreon charged up energy and fired a stream of water at Mareep, knocking the electric sheep into the wall.

"Mareep!" Walker cried.

"You can't defeat us like that!" Sayo pointed out, a little disappointed. "I was expecting a bit of a challenge..."

"You'll get your challenge" Walker promised. "Guys, we need to turn up the heat."

"Pin Missle!" Jerry shouted. Pineco fired a ton of pins at Espeon, who dodged them like a boss.

"How did you teach it an egg move?" Walker asked.

"Well, I tried to ask Frank est but he made up some excuse about being in Colorodo fighting zombies in a shopping mall so I just settled for Pineco bootcamp."

"Frank West is a Dead Rising character" Kalvin pointed out.

"And?"

"He isn't real."

Jerry thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, well you're not real."

"Yes I am..."

"Kalvin doesn't exist, right Walker?"

Walker put his hands up. "No way are you pulling me into this!"

Sayo sighed. "Those three are a bit pathetic..."


	19. Triple Battle Blues Part 2

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 19: Triple Battle Blues Part 2

"We need to get back into this game" Walker said, throwing a wet towel onto the ground.

"Where did you get the towel?" Jerry asked.

"From the pool out back..."

"There's a pool in the back?" Jerry asked, excited. "How about you ladies join me after this for..."

"No" the three kimono girls shouted quickly.

"It was worth a try..."

Kuni sighed. "Vaporeon, finish them off with a Hydro Pump." Vaporeon fired a massive blast of water at Pineco. However, Kalvin had a defense plan.

"Quilava, block with Flame Wheel!" Kalvin shouted. Quilava's body charged up with fire and it flew towards the water, defending Pineco from a powerful jet of H2O.

"Thanks man!" Jerry thanked. "How'd you come up with that plan?"

"I read your book of General Patton's Best Plans and I saw one for roasting chickens so I gave it a shot!"

"Are you sure you aren't reading Chicken Little?" Jerry asked.

"...No!...Is this really...oh! So the sky didn't really fall!"

"He's more useless than Wall-E" Walker sweatdropped.

"True. But, at least I didn't fall in love with a robot named Whitney!"

"She isn't a robot and I am not in love with her!" Walker yelled back.

Jerry got more focused on the battle. "Pineco, use Pin Missle on Espeon." Pineco tried to nail Espeon with pins but it dodged every strike and hit it with a Psybeam. "Got you!" Jerry shouted. "Pineco, Payback attack!" Pineco stored up energy and released it all into one point blank attack on the ESP Pokemon. Espeon was knocked unconcious.

"My Espeon!" Sayo cried.

Walker and Kalvin were still arguing and Zuki saw it as the perfect oppertunity to attack. "This will be easier than beating Monty is Innocent" she chuckled. "Umbreon, use Screech." Umbreon opened its mouth wide and let out a chilling screech that lowered the defense of Quilava and Mareep.

"Darn it!" Walker screamed. "You should know never to interupt an argument between two members of Team Unicorn!"

"Team Unicorn?" Kalvin asked.

"Yeah. That's our team, remember?"

"Oh yeah..." Kalvin remembered.

"Wisdom Form!" Walker cried as Mareep began to glow with a bright light, evolving into Flaaffy. "Nice! Flaaffy, use Signal Beam!" Flaaffy charged up a strong beam and fired it at Umbreon, catching it by surprise and hurting it severely.

"How!" Zuki cried.

"Easy! Signal Beam is a bug type move" Walker explained. "And dark type pokemon are weak to creepy crawlers." He looked at Kalvin. "You, clean up the rest."

"Right. Quilava, use Lava Plume to strike them both!" Quilava spewed a scorching burst of fire that struck both allies and enemies alike.

"Watch out!" Jerry shouted, dodging out of the way.

"Flaaffy, get out of the way!" Walker cried. Flaaffy dodged by doing a barrel roll.

"Help fox!" Slippy...I mean Jerry, shouted.

Vaporeon escaped the fire unharmed, however Umbreon was unable to escape and was knocked out from the all range attack.

"Nice sweep of the entire field" Walker spat sarcastically.

"Next time I'll make it go after you!" Kalvin threatened.

"And I'll take away your pen collection to buy Jerry a new batmobile!" Walker threatened back.

"Actually" Jerry interjected. "I already have a new batmobile..."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. The batmobile 2.0 is what I like to call it. It has a Playstation 3 in the back as well as some extra room in the back for when I'm with the ladies, you know what I'm saying?"

Walker shook his head. "Not really. Did you keep the Cheese Nip dispenser?"

Jerry smiled. "Two Cheese Nip dispensers."

"Cheese on a bun!" Walker cheered.

"What the bacon?" Jerry asked, raising an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to be your catchphrase?"

"Yeah...what's wrong with it?"

"Nothing...It's kinda funny."

Kuni fumed with rage. "Why...am I...being...ignored! Vaporeon, Hydro Pump!" Before Vaporeon could fire its watery pump, Jerry decided to strike.

"Use Self Destruct, Pineco!" he ordered. Walker and Kalvin returned their Pokemon as Pineco charged with energy before exploding on the spot, taking Vaporeon and its water jokes with it. Beyond that, it also blew up the entire right side of the building.

"Looks like we're blasting off again!" the kimono girls cried.

Off in the distance, a male Team Rocket grunt saw them blasting away. "Gee, I hope we never get a lame catchphrase like that..."

"Yeah!" a female grunt replied. "Though a talking Meowth would be nice." She shrugged as her partner gave her a funny look. "Just saying."

"Good work, Jerry" Walker complimented. "We won the battle and ended up learning why people shouldn't fly."

"What should we do next?" Jerry asked.

"How about we hit the gym?" Kalvin suggested.

"Yeah, I could use some excersize..." Walker replied.

"I was talking about the Pokemon gym..."

"Oh...yeah, I'm just going to explore the town a bit."

"Me too" Jerry agreed. "The gym can wait. I want to go cougar hunting."

"What? You think if you dress as a pimp that you'll automatically attract cougars?" Walker asked.

"Uh, yeah. Dude, the ladies love a pimp."

"Just don't call yourself Shockalot, okay?"

Kalvin waved to them. "Later guys. I'm going to see what's going on in the tower over there." he pointed to the tower in the upper left hand corner, AKA Burned Tower.

The old guy selling maps from Cherrygrove City appeared in front of Walker. "Now do you want one of my maps?"

Walker kicked him in the shin. "You stalked us all the way from chapter 2? Get lost!"


	20. Hunting for Cougars in all the Wrong Pla

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 20: Hunting for Cougars in all the Wrong Places

"So, this is the Burned Tower" Kalvin said, observing a very observent sign. He knocked on the door and it collapsed in. "Um...hello? Anyone in here?"

A suprised voice called out of the darkness. "Um...no?"

"But, I can hear you..."

"I'm not from Team Rocket!" the voice yelled.

"Sure...I have muffins" Kalvin tried. It worked. The Team Rocket grunt was lured out by the false promise. He realised only too late that he had been tricked.

"No...please don't...ahhhhhhhhhh!"

A female member of Team Rocket beckoned Kalvin inside. "Hello, peon. I am Ariana, a dazzling executive of Team Rocket. I have two questions for you. Who are you and what did you do to my grunt?"

"Well, I'm Kalvin Sporeman. As for what I did to your grunt, I made him watch reruns of Friends."

"How horrible..." Ariana mumbled. "Regardless, I've heard from the lower executives that you have been causing trouble for us. We can't have that happening. Go, Magcargo!" A firey slug Pokemon appeared.

"Go Voltorb!" Kalvin cried, sending out his Pokemon. "Darn. Where is the human Pokemaniac when you need him?"

"Achoo!" Walker sneezed.

"You alright?" Jerry asked.

"Yeah. But, why are we going cugar hunting again?"

"Because it's my batmobile 2.0" Jerry answered. "Well, we will be once I figure out how to get it to start."

"Did you try the key?" Walker asked.

"Of course I tried the...wait a second." Jerry inserted the key and turned it, causing the batmobile to start up. "Good. Now we can roll out." As he started forward, a suspisiously familiar female crossing guard held up a Psyduck crossing sign.

"Go away, Whitney" Walker groaned.

"Not until you agree to meet me at the alter" Whitney pouted.

"Fat chance!" Walker laughed. "Jerry, are you my friend?"

"Depends. What is the favor?"

"Run Whitney over."

Jerry frowned. "Oh come on! You know I can't do that! After all, I have three traffic violations already fotr obvious offenses and if I get another one, I'll have to spend time with community service."

A police officer ran up to them, holding a wanted poster with Jerry's face on it. Well, almost. Jerry had a fake handlebar moustache in the picture and a wicked top hat. "Hello civilians. I'm looking for a man named Big daddy. Have you seen him? He's a notoroious airplane thief."

Whitney tried to point at Jerry, but a short revving of his engine shut her up. "Uh, no officer. Sorry to say we haven't."

Walker hit him over the head. "Don't lie to the officer, Jerry! Of course we've seen Big Daddy." He pointed to Whitney. "That's your man!"

Whitney was outraged. "How dare you...? This is all Jerry's influence over my sweetheart!" The officer cuffed her and started dragging her away. As she gazed at Walker, she caught a glimpse of him waving goodbye to her and smiling.

Meanwhile, Kalvin was having a difficult time battling Ariana's Magcargo. "Voltorb, use Spark!" The attack did little to the part rock type Pokemon.

"Ha! Magcargo, Earth Power!" The ground shook as Magcargo used its power to cause rocks to fly toward Voltorb. The rocks smacked the ball Pokemon around the tower floor.

"Voltorb, Sonicboom!" Voltorb shot out a shockwave that knocked Magcargo back a bit.

"Ember!" Ariana countered. The attack had a similar effect on Voltorb. As the two were about to go in for the final, epic clash, the ceiling began to break apart and three beasts of legendary power escaped their prisons, free to roam the region as they pleased. "Our plan has succeeded" Ariana smiled. She recalled her Magcargo.

"Hold on!" Kalvin shouted. "We aren't finished here yet!"

"Yes we are" Ariana said as she started to fly away on her jetpack. "You cannot stop the might of Team Rocket. Hahahahaha!"

Kalvin watched her fly away, also getting a glimpse of Beta Centauri. "She totally digs me."

**References/Jokes:**

**Beta Centauri - is the second brightest star in the constellation Centaurus and the tenth brightest star in the night sky.**

**Bioshock 2 - Jerry refers to himself as a Big Daddy, commonly called _Subject Delta._**

**_Friends_**

**_Duck Crossing_**


	21. A Pokemon Soap Opera

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 21: A Pokemon Soap Opera

Jerry stood outside the Ecruteak City gym. "Okay, I'll be taking this one, right?"

"Yeah" Walker nodded.

"Will I get a cougar?"

"Um...sure?"

"Then I'll win!" Jerry entered the gym and felt a powerful breeze. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore..."

Morty, the gym leader introduced himself as...yeah, Morty.

"So, which trainer will I get to destroy in my conquest to become someone worthy of capturing a legendary?" he asked.

"Is this guy Cao Cao?" Walker asked.

"He just might be" Kalvin remarked.

"What?" Morty asked.

Walker took a picture of Morty and compared it with a pciture of Cao Cao. "His personality is similar, but Cao Cao has a crown and he...doesn't."

Jerry sent out Totodile. "Okay, what type of Pokemon do you use?"

Morty threw out his Gengar. "Let me put it this way: Are you afraid of the dark?"

"That's a ghost type..."

"I know! It sounded cooler that way!" Morty cried, having a coniption.

"Oh. Not really..."

"Fine! Are you afriad of ghosts?"

"No. Well, there was that one time my cousin was wearing a bed sheet and I didn't know it was him..."

Morty let out a scream. "Sorry...You're a bit annoying. Actually, alot annoying. Gengar, Shadow Ball!" Gengar fired a ball of shadow at otodile, hitting it dead on. Pun mildly intended.

"Totodile, stand up and fight back with..."

"Hypnosis" Morty ordered. Gengar caused hypnotic waves to emit from its fingers, putting Totodile to sleep. "God. Now use Nightmare to drain it of its strength." Gengar sent nightmares to Totodile, draining it of HP.

"I have a dream machine" a crazy kook inventor exclaimed, entering the gym.

"It's just the old map guy..." Walker sweatdropped.

"I'll stab him with a pen" Kalvin offered.

"Wait! Don't harm me! I just want to show you what Totodile is dreaming about!"

"Will you leave us alone after you show us?" Walker asked.

"Maybe..." The old map guy (Pedophile) set up some machines and showed a film of Totodile's dream. In Sepia Tone! Totodile was walking around and came upon a counter. Curious, hesaw it had cookies and he wanted a cookie. But, when he jumped onto the counter, the cookies were all gone! Oh no! Totodile was having a nightmare!

"How about a different, more scarier nightmare..." Mory ordered, sweatdropping. Gengar, who was also sweatdropping, attacked again and again, the dreasm showed up on the film projector. otodile was dancing in the flower gardens when suddenly, he forgot how to tango and met a cute, cougar Croconaw. Without the ability to tango, he could not pick her up.

"He must have gotten that trait from me..." Jerry admitted.

"Ya think?" Walker asked, sarcastically.

Totodile's nightmares awakened a hidden power inside of him and he evolved on the spot into Croconaw, awakening from his slumber as well. "But, how?" Morty cried.

"he evolved" Jerry yelled in triumph.

"But, how?"

"Um...Pokemon evolution."

"But, how?"

"Ask Professor Elm."

"Speaking of Professor Elm, wasn't he in some kind of trouble?" Walker asked.

Meanwhile, locked in a storage basement, Elm was secretly gagged up. _'The trainers who stole my Pokemon will find me. They're probably looking for me right now!' _he thought excitedly.

"No" Kalvin replied. "I don't think I even know a Professor Elm."

"I thought it was strange" Walker agreed.

Jerry pointed to Morty. "You've lost this battle!" he declared.

"I have?" Morty asked. "No! Why must this be? My path to legendarrrrrry powerrrr has crrrrumbled beforrrrrre the Han!"

"Zhang Jiao much?" Jerry asked. "I meant that you are about to lose. Croconaw, use Water Gun!"

"Shadow Ball!" Morty cried. Gengar and Croconaw's attacks met in the middle and exploded on contact, creating a smokescreen.

"Crunch!" Jerry ordered. Croconaw aimed for Gengar and bit into the ghost, damaging it greatly due to the weakness ghosts have top dark type moves. (Go figure...)

"Hypnosis!" Morty cried.

"That won't work twice!" Jerry challenged. Croconaw fell asleep. "Huh. Go figure. I'll just use this awakening." he searched his backpack, but only found a manga of One Piece. "Walker, what the hell is this?"

"Did I mention I sold our awakenings for some manga?" Walker laughed nervously. "Becasue...I did."

Jerry sighed and came up with a brilliant plan. He walked onto the battle stage, squatted down to Croconaw's height and slapped him as hard as he could. "Wake up, man! We need to win this!" Croconaw started to cry. "I'm so sorry, buddy!" The two hugged, still in front of everybody.

"Just think, a friend told me he punches cats" Walker whispered to Kalvin.

"I do not!" Jerry shouted. "I hit them, which isn't the same as punching them. And only when they are bad!"

Morty sighed and forked over the fourth gym badge. "Take it. This nonsense isn't a battle, it's General Hospital." He walked away, muttering about his dreams of being a legendary Pokemonb trainer going down the drain like his Australian Dance Week lessons.

"Guys, let's celebrate by riding in my new Mitsubishi Chariot" Jerry offered.

"Is it stolen?" Walker asked.

"It's "borrowed"."

"That's so much better" Walker sarcastically sighed.

**References/Jokes:**

**Australian Dance Council - Australian Dance Week**

**Mitsubishi Chariot - Car**

**Wizard of Oz - Kansas remark**

**Dynasty Warriors - Zhang Jiao's slurred R's**


	22. The Great Eusine

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 22: The Great Eusine

With Ecruteak City long behind them, the three teenage trainers marched onward into Route 38. "So" Walker read in his latest guidebook. "It seems that the upcoming city, Olivine City, is playing a theactrical movie called Battle for Terra."

"Who does it star?" Jerry asked.

"Um...Dennis Quaid..."

"I may check it out" Jerry surmised. He suddenly caught sight of a legendary Pokemon. "What is that Pokemon?" he asked.

"That appears to be Entei" Walker read in the guidebook. "It is..." Jerry and Kalvin had already begun running after it. "...very dangerous..." He looked up at the sight of a blimp overhead. It wasn't the blimp that had his attention though. It was a female that had jumped out of the blimp without a parachute that caught his attention. "...!"

She threw a pokeball into the air, releasing an electric bird that lowered itself to catch her. "Good work, Zapdos!" she shouted over the rushing wind. She instructed Zapdos to land on the ground not far from where Walker stood.

"That was amazing!" Walker cried. His hands reached for a pokeball. "Could I battle your Zapdos?"

The lady shrugged. "Fine by me, if you want to anyway. My name is Argenta, a Frontier Brain here in Johto."

"Walker Caul" Walker introduced, releasing his Aipom.

"An Aipom?" Argenta replied with a frown. "I thought you were serious about battling me..."

"I am. My Aipom is a pretty decent Pokemon when it comes to battles."

"Aipom!" she agreed, sitting on its tail.

"Then let's get started!" Argenta shouted. "Zapdos, Rain Dance!" A harsh rain began to fall on the battlefield.

Jerry and Kalvin panted and stopped in a forest clearing, unable to keep pace with Entei. "I...can't...catch it..." Jerry gasped.

"I...know what you...mean..." Kalvin gasped back. A sinister voice laughed at them.

"Of course you cannot capture them" he spoke. "You don't have the talent to do so." The man was dressed in a blue circus manager uniform and he had a pokeball on a chain around his neck. "My name is the great Eusine..."

"Eusine..." Jerry tried to say.

"The great Eusine!" he shouted.

"Okay..."the great Eusine"...I was trying to capture Entei so get out of my way."

"Not a chance" Eusine scoffed. "I am the only person capable of capturing and controlling the power of the three Legendary Dogs!" He pulled the Pokeball off of his chain. "And if you dispute such, then we shall battle."

Jerry also reached for a Pokeball. "Of course I dispute. If I didn't, I wouldn't have the guts to buy a 2010 Bentley Mulsanne for my birthday."

"You bought yourself a birthday present?" Kalvin asked.

"Bought, stole...it's all the same" Jerry said with a shrug. "She's my baby. I hope nothing happens to her."

"Aipom dodge!" Walker cried as Zapdos unleashed a powerful Thunder attack. Aipom jumped onto Jerry's currently parked Bentley Mulsanne and the electric attack struck the car, causing it to catch fire. "I feel sorry for the owner of that car" Walker muttered under his breath.

Jerry tossed out his Pineco. "Defeat his ugly mug" Jerry said.

Eusine once again scoffed and sent out his Starmie. "We'll see about that, Da'an!"

"Who?" Jerry and Kalvin both asked.

"Um...nothing. I just finished watching Earth: Final Conflict...Starmie, use Swift!" An array of stars slammed into Pineco.

Jerry balled up his fists. "Pineco, go in with Gyro Ball!" Pineco began to spin slowly, then faster and faster and even faster before taking off after Starmie. It slammed full body into the water star, inflicting heavy damage.

"I cannot allow that" Eusine said, waving his hand. "Starmie, use Recover." The water star instantly began to regain health as a green energy flowed through it.

"It's recovering its strength!" Jerry gasped. "I can't let it do that!" As he said that, Pineco began to glow with a bright, white light. "It's evolving!" he gasped.

"Are you really so shocked?" Kalvin asked.

"No." Pineco evolved into a Forrestress.

"Forretress!" it bellowed.

"I wonder if it learned any new moves..." Jerry asked himself.

"Check the Pokedex" Kalvin suggested.

"I sold them for my new car..." Jerry reminded him.

"Oh...then check Serebii."

"Good idea!" Jerry exclaimed, taking out a laptop. He instantly went to Serebii and looked up Forretress. "I see...okay, let's continue, Eusine!" Eusine was asleep. "Come on, wake up, dude!"

Eusine opened his eyes. "Sorry. You were beginning to bore me. Like Polaris from X-Men."

Jerry balled up his fists again. "You did not just insult Playstation!"

"I know. I insulted X-Men."

Jerry's eyes glowed red. "It's morphin time!"

Kalvin rolled his eyes. "Yes, we made one Power Rangers reference..."

Eusine pointed at Forretress. "Use Bubblebeam to slow him down."

"Magnet Rise to evade!" Jerry ordered. Forretress began generating electricity as it rose into the air, dodging the bubbles.

"What?" Eusine cried.

"Now hit it with Zap Cannon!" Jerry roared. Forretress charged up an electric ball of energy and blasted it at Starmie. Eusine was so shocked that he forgot to order Starmie to dodge, thus allowing his Pokemon to be knocked out.

Meanwhile, Walker's battle with Argenta continued. "Aipom, use Bounce!" Aipom dodged another Thunder by using her tail as a springboard.

"An egg move" Argenta said with a smile. "Hmm...Zapdos, use Thunder on it now!" Aipom was caught in the air and was easily knocked out by the electric attack. "Not too bad kid. Try to take on the Battle Frontier sometime."

"I will" Walker nodded, returning his Pokemon. He looked at the car to his left, which was now completely on fire. "I really feel sorry for whoever owns that..."

"How could I lose?" Eusine asked himself, brought to tears. He fled the scene with a teary farewell.

"Now I feel kinda...bad" Jerry said, scratching his head. Entei appeared in front of him and all thoughts about Eusine vanished. "Okay Entei, prepare to fight!"

References/Jokes:

References:

X-Men - Polaris can control magnetism, much like the supervillain Magneto,

Earth: Final Conflict - Da'an is a complex creature, full of contradictions and difficult divisions. He is a loyal Taelon who is desperate to save his species, yet he has an abiding love for humanity. While he has taken part in great injustices, he has a great love of fairness and justice. While he is peaceful by nature, he shows a temper at times.

Bentley Mulsanne (2010) - The new **Bentley Mulsanne** is a high-end luxury car produced by Bentley Motors

Battle for Terra - **_Battle for Terra_**, originally screened as **_Terra_**, is a 2007 computer animated science fiction film, based on a short film of the same name about a peaceful alien planet which faces destruction from colonization by the displaced remainder of the human race. (Dennis Quaid reference)

Power Rangers - It's morphin time!


	23. That takes the Birthday Cake!

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 23: That takes the Birthday Cake!

Jerry threw Croconaw out. "Okay Entei, we'll give you the first move!" Entei just stood there as Jerry began to wonder why it was staring at him.

"This isn't chess" Kalvin pointed out. "Just attack it."

Jerry nodded. "Croconaw, use Ice Fang!" Croconaw's jaw froze up as it tried to clamp onto Entei. The Legendary Dog proved too agile to hit, though. "Man! Okay Water Gun!" Croconaw stopped prusuing Entei and instead fired a blast of cool water. Entei took the attack like it was nothing.

"That's a boss Pokemon!" Kalvin exclaimed. Jerry shot him a questioning look. "What? I heard it from Walker. He watches a ton of Youtube videos." Entei's fangs began to burn wildly as it lept into the air, targeting Croconaw. It bit down hard, burning the poor water Pokemon.

"Croconaw, use Water Gun on yourself!" Jerry commanded. Croconaw did so, relieving itself of the burn. "That reminds me, I need to buy Dark Void tomorrow."

"What's Dark Void?" Kalvin asked.

"The game's story takes place before World War II and centers around a cargo pilot named William Augustus Grey (voiced by Nolan North) who is teleported to another world while flying through the Bermuda Triangle and flying through a Watchers tunnel. In this world, known as the 'Void', Will encounters an alien race as well as other humans, which are known as the Watchers and the Survivors respectively..."

"Okay, okay!" Kalvin cried, holding his hands up. "I don't want a monologue! Besides, Entei is trying to escape." Entei began darting through the woods.

"Oh no you didn't!" Jerry shouted in a very girly voice. He cleared his throat. "Ahem! Croconaw, use..." He clicked back on Serebii. "Hm...Aqua Tail!" Croconaw's tail lit up with a blue light as he gave chase after Entei. Locking on its target, he lept into the air and proceeded to slam his tail into the fleeing legendary, causing considerable damage. "Use Water Gun!" Jerry shouted. Croconaw pulled out a tiny water pistol and sprayed water at Kalvin.

"You little...!" Kalvin cried.

"Not very funny, Croconaw" Jerry scolded. Croconaw made a sad face. "Awww! I can't disapline him when he looks so cute. Who's a good Croconaw?" He petted his Pokemon on the head. "Good boy!"

"Watch out!" Kalvin cried. Entei took a charging run at both Jerry and Croconaw, intending to use Fire Fang on them both. Out of the woods burst a powerful lightning bolt that slammed into Entei, knocking it back a bit.

"You guys alright?" Walker asked, Flaaffy standing next to him.

"I was about to spring my trap" Jerry complained.

"If I hadn't ordered Flaaffy to use Charge Beam, you would have been flatter than a pancake" Walker smiled. "So you finally caught up with Entei, huh?"

"Yeah. By the way, where were you?"

"I was battling some Frontier Brain named Argenta or something. You should have seen it! I was battling a Zapdos and this car got friend by a Thunder attack..."

"What model was it?" Jerry asked quickly.

"It was a 2010 Bentley Mulsanne..." Walker said, blinking. "Why?"

Jerry broke down in tears. Nooooo! That's two cars of mine you ruined!"

"That was your car?" Walker asked. "Go figure. I sold the scrap for 40 dollars."

"I'm going to pay you back for this..." Jerry said under his breath. He turned his attention to Entei. "But for right now, I'm going to catch you. Croconaw, finish this battle with Aqua Tail!" Croconaw's tail lit up again and once again slammed into Entei, sending it flying into a tree. "Good! Now hit it with Ice Fang!" Croconaw's jaw became glazed over with icing. "What did I tell you about eating cake before dinner?" Croconaw looked sorry. "No excuses. You will not be allowed to play my PS3 tonight." Croconaw sulked over to Entei and bit into it, causing a little damage.

"That's almost as harsh as when I watched old videos of Golf when I was a kid..." Walker recounted.

"Who did you watch?" Kalvin asked.

"I think it was someone named Heather Farr..."

Jerry took a Pokeball off of his belt. "Master Ball, let's catch Entei!" The ball sailed through the air and captured Entei in one toss.

"How did you get your hands on a Master Ball?" Walker asked.

Jerry peeled the words Master Ball off of the normal Pokeball. "I'm good like that."

Walker took a CD out of a Wal Mart bag. "Here. I used half of the money I got from your car to buy this CD for you for your birthday. It's Jennifer Hanson by Jennifer Hanson."

Jerry took it with a happy smile. "I got an Entei and now a country cd that I don't have. Could this day get any better?"

"I heard in the Pokenews that Ralph is in jail for intoxication while in public" Kalvin replied.

"I guess it can."


	24. Return of the Mime

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 24: Return of the Mime

Still on the road to Olivine City, our heroes decided to take things slow and enjoy the sights. "I can't believe you forgot to fill up the gas tank" Walker sighed, punching the seat of Jerry's new Cenareca Tiuna UR-53AR50.

"Well, it was a foreign car" Jerry claimed. "Ebay is getting a strict talking to about sedning me those."

"What kind of car is this anyway?" Kalvin asked.

"I believe the papers said it was a maintenece model, but I have no confirmation of that..." A Tangela appeared in front of the car. "Hello little kid. Is that your Halloween costume?" Jerry asked, pinching it on the cheek. In response, Tangela smacked it with its powerful vine.

"I wouldn't mess with her" Walker replied, reading his guidebook. "That is a Tangela, a grass type Pokemon. And Halloween isn't for another two months regardless."

"Thanks for the pro tip..." Jerry muttered, rubbing with a towel. "Stupid Tangela..."

Kalvin hopped out of the car. "I'm going to catch it with pen logic" he said. "Tangela, come here girl..."

"How do you even know it is a girl?" Jerry asked.

"Well gee" Walker replied sarcastically. "I looked up her E-Harmony profile..."

"Won't your girlfriend get jealous?" Jerry asked, snickering. Walker smacked him upside the head.

"I don't have a girlfriend, egghead! And besides, I was being sracastic! I actually looked up the gender identification on this Pokedex."

"But, I thought I sold those" Jerry confessed.

"You did" Walker admitted. "But there was a Pokemaniac back down the road and he asked if I wanted to see his Pokedex. So I swiped it and ran."

Jerry clapped his hands. "So that's why you were in such a rush to get away from that squad of police officers! I thought they were after me because of my credit card scandels!"

"Your what?" Walker asked.

"Nothing. Oh, since you got me a birthday gift a few days ago, here's an early gift for you." He handed Walker a cd called Polka in Paradise. "It's Polka."

"Thank you Captain Obvious" Walker frowned. "I'll be sure to use this during the winter."

"Why would you wait until then?" Jerry asked.

"Because I need the firewood." Jerry gave Walker a sad face. "Fine. I'll listen to polka music..."

"Ha! Kalvin owes me twenty five cents!" Jerry cheered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing!"

Kalvin held a pokeball in his hand. "Did you guys see me catch Tangela?"

"No..."

"Oh. By the way, my Sentret evolved into Furret."

"That's nice" Jerry interupted. "Now about my money..."

"He actually said he would listen to polka?" Kalvin asked, trying not to laugh. "That's almost as funny as his baseball shirt."

Walker gave them a nasty glare. "And just what is wrong with the Baltimore Orioles?" A sudden appearnce of a familiar mime brought them all to attention. "That looks like Jenkins." he took out his mime speak book as Jenkins moved his hands around. "He says he wants a club sandwich on rye...no wait! He's looking for a bathroom..." Jenkins stomped on his toes. "Owwwwwww!"

Kalvin and Jerry sweatdropped. "What a nice mime..." Jenkins threw out his Mr. Mime.

"I guess he wants to battle" Kalvin said to himself, tossing out Tangela.

"You're going to use a Pokemon you just caught?" Jerry asked.

"How bad could it be?" Kalvin asked. "Tangela, use Slam!" Tangela ran full body toward Mr. Mime, but the mime was crafty and pointed at Tangela with two fingers. In an instant, Mr. Mime fired a psychadelic beam at Tangela, causing it to fly into Jerry's car, destroying it.

"My car!" Jerry shouted.

"That was Psybeam" Walker read out of his guidebook. "It appears to be able to cause confusion. Watch out, Kalvin."

Kalvin nodded. "Right. Tangela, use Sunny Day!" Tangela cast some sun on the environment, making it...sunnier? Sunnish? Sunnified? Sunny-something. As it did, Tangela's body glowed with a green light.

"It's Bruce Banner!" Jerry cried.

"I don't think so" Walker remarked. "It looks to short for that. No, it appears to have something to do with her ability, Chlorophill. During the sunlight, it makes Tangela much faster." To prove the point, Mr. Mime fired another Psybeam at Tangela. The now very agile plant Pokemon dodged with ease and retaliated with a Slam.

"Pretty neat" Kalvin said. "It would have been great to have seen the Hulk, but...Tangela use Power Whip!" Tangela fired a quick and strong root out of its body and struck Mr. Mime square in the face, knocking it out. Jenkins frowned and returned his Pokemon for a refund. But, the refund was denied and he had to settle with just keeping Mr. Mime in its Pokeball. With a little mime speak, Jenkins was gone. "What did he say?"

Walker tapped his foot. "I'm not sure. Something about how he will get revenge and will spend ten dollars on a smoothie."

"No way is he spending more cash than me!" Kalvin declared. "I'll buy three smoothies!"

"Did he really say that?" Jerry whispered.

"No. But do you want a smoothie?"

"Yes..."

"Then as far as Kalvin knows, he said that."


	25. Battle in the Shining Lighthouse

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 25: Battle in the Shining Lighthouse

"This must be Olivine City" Walker announced, staring at his guidebook.

Jerry leaned over to take a peek. "Hey! You've been reading Captain America comics using the guidebook as a cover!"

"And?" Walker asked, turning the page. "Run Captain A! They have a gun turret!"

Kalvin hit him with a potato chip bag. "Guys, for once I feel I must be responsible and..." a french fry smacked him in the head. "Jerry...!"

Jerry and Walker were trying not to laugh. "Sorry...Kalvin..." Jerry snickered. A sudden police bike sprang at them. At the last second, the three trainers dodged and landed face first in the sand.

"Crazy driver..." Walker muttered, spitting sand out of his mouth. He got a look at the driver and froze. "Ahhhhhhh! It's her!"

Whitney jumped off of the bike and she was angry. She picked Walker up by his shirt and tossed him across the beach. "You jerk! You have no idea how hard it is to escape from jail!" Her face turned to sad hearts. "And I was looking forward to our wedding. Now it's been set back for another fourteen days."

"She's strong!" Jerry cried. "And insane!"

Kalvin popped some chips into his mouth. "Hm? What did I miss?"

Walker picked himself out of the sand. "Darn...she can throw too?"

Whitney rushed to hug him, but tripped over a sandcastle and fell face first. "Owww...Walker, how about we go into the lighthouse? You know, for a date? I forgive you for your friends bad influence on you."

"We're a bad influence on Walker?" Jerry asked, looking at Kalvin.

"Well, apart from the time we forced him to pay for your Folklore game and got him to listen to Bob Dylan's song, Masters of War, I really can't think of anything else."

"What about the bar hopping?" Jerry asked.

"Nah" Kalvin replied. "She said we were a bad influence. Not a good influence."

"That girl scares me" Jerry gulped, pointing at Whitney, who was still waiting on an answer from Walker.

"Well, I...I mean, I can't."

"Why not?" Whitney asked, giving him puppy dog eyes. Walker couldn't say what he wanted because those eyes gave him the creeps.

"Well, um...I...Team Rocket...is um...is attacking the Shining Lighthouse and I need to help my friends stop them" Walker lied.

Whitney nodded. "I understand. I'll fight beside you."

"What? No! I mean, that's not a great idea. Look, why don't you take a tour of the town and I'll come back for you when we defeat Team Rocket and we'll go out for ice cream." Whitney nodded like she understood and gave him a hug farewell. With that parting, she watched Walker, Jerry and Kalvin run for the lighthouse.

"You don't intend on returning to Olivine City, do you?" Kalvin asked.

"Not a chance!" Walker whispered loudly. "Jerry, do you have a car I could borrow to escape?"

"Well" Jerry said. "I do have an authentic Speeder Bike from when I played in Star Wars..."

"What part did you play?" Walker asked.

"Did you see the guy with the black mask and cape?"

"Darth Vader?"

"Yeah...that was my uncle. I was a camera man." The three heroes entered the lighthouse and started up some old stairs.

"This place needs to be cleaned" Kalvin commented. "Maybe a swiffer duster could do some wonders..." They ascended higher into the lighthouse, all the while not knowing they were being watched. As they reached the top floor, they saw a teenage girl of about nine-teen holding an Ampharos.

"That's an Ampharos" Walker replied. "It evolves from Flaaffy." The girl heard him and shook her head.

"Go! Don't go any further! Turn back!"

"Why?" Jerry asked. In a split second, a smokebomb went off and as the smoke cleared, Proton, Petrel and Ariana stood in front of them.

"You always have to ask the dumb questions" Walker muttered under his breath. "By the way, who's have guessed I was right about Team Rocket?"

"Oh, I see how it is. Fine. No speeder for you!"

Walker gulped. "Oh come on, I didn't mean it!"

Proton gave a sneer. "Well, you didn't clean out all the rats, Ariana."

Ariana shot him a look. "Hmph. It isn't my job to deal with pests."

"Calm down, you two" Petrel interupted. "We can still accomplish our mission. They're just brats after all, right?" He looked at the trainers. "Welcome to Team Rocket's new lighthouse base. You are trespassing so I guess we should give you the grand tour!"

The girl bit her lip. _'Great. Team Rocket has control over my grandpa's lighthouse and there isn't anything I can do about it!'_

Walker grabbed a Pokeball from his belt. "Fine by us! Aipom, let's knock these loser down!"

Jerry tossed out Slowpoke. "Petrel, I'm going to show you who has the last laugh!"

Kalvin tossed out Tangela. "Ariana, would you marry me?" Ariana made a surprised face.

"You...you got to be kidding me!" she cried.

Walker and Jerry gave him looks of their own. "How sweet, romeo..." they replied lamely.

Proton nudged Ariana's ribs. "So, when's the wedding?" he asked, smiling crookedly.

"Shut...up..." Ariana replied through grit teeth. She tossed out Xatu. "Kid, you're delusional. Likem I'd be interested in a punk like you!"

"Oooh, burn..." Walker and Jerry echoed.

Kalvin hit them with his bag of potato chips. "Grow up! Or next time I'll cut you open with my second favoprite pen, Mr. Stabbs."

Proton threw out Weezing. "Okay kid. Why don't I get revnge for last time?"

"Bring it on!" Walker shouted.

Petrel tossed out a Sandslash. "It seems we are the only ones left to battle" he sang, badly.

"You suck at singing almost as bad as Rebbeca Black!" Jerry yelled.

"How dare you insult my favorite singer!" Petrel shouted. "Sandslash, Sandstorm attack!" Sandslash created a sandstorm in a portion of the lighthouse.

"I can still hit you" Jerry smirked. "Slowpoke, use..." Sandslash struck Slowpoke hard with its claws. "Huh?"

"My Sandslash has the ability Sand Veil" Petrel explained. "In a sandstorm, it becomes much quicker. Now, who did you say was going to have the last laugh? Ahahahahahaha!"

"You haven't won yet..." Jerry grunted. "Slowpoke, it is time for Water Pulse! Clear the storm!" Slowpoke fired a watery pulse that evaporated the sandstorm.

"No big deal. I'll just create another sandstorm. Sandslash..."

"Disable attack!" Jerry shouted. Slowpoke opened its mouth and spoke its name. Sandslash tried to whip up a new sandstorm, but found it impossible.

"No way!" Petrel gasped.

"Water Pulse!" Jerry ordered. Slowpoke once again fired a watery pulse at Sandslash, this time hitting the ground Pokemon and knocking it into the side of the lighthouse. It was a clean knock out.

Proton laughed as Weezing dodged Aipom's Swift attack. "Nice try, kid. Weezing is much tougher than your purple monkey. "Sludge!" Weezing fired a sludgy substance at Aipom, hitting it.

"Okay, time for a new trick then. Aipom, Double Hit!" Aipom jumped with its tail and smacked eezing twice with it. Suddenly, as it hit the ground, Aipom began to glow with a bright light. In a flash, it had evolved into Ambipom! "Yeah!" walker cheered. "I was wondering how Aipom evolved."

"Maybe you shouldn't be reading Captain America instead of the guidebook" Jerry remarked.

"Quiet. You shouldn't insult a war hero. Now Ambipom, use Double Hit to finish it!" Using its twin tails, Ambipom prepared to smack Weezing around some more. But Proton had a cunning plan.

"Destiny Bond!" he ordered.

"Crap!" Walker shouted, realising what would occur. Ambipom hit Weezing twice, knocking the gas ball out. Unfortunently, thanks to Destiny Bond, Ambipom also fainted, resulting in a draw.

Kalvin smirked. "Hey. We're winning. Now will you date me?"

Ariana spit in disgust. "Would you be silent so I can crush you?" she asked, ordering Xatu to use Tailwind. The wind around it made Xatu faster than before. "Now Psybeam!"

"I'll take that as a no" kalvin sighed. He took out his cellphone. "Hello? Yeah, Larry's Pizza? I would like you to cancel our renovations for eight' o clock this evening. No, the lady is unable to attend." Tangela was hit hard by the Psybeam.

"Pay attetention!" Jerry shouted, tossing his cellphone across the room.

Kalvin nodded. "Tangela, Swords Dance." Tangela began to glow with a red light, increasing its strength. "Good. Now Power Whip!"

"That won't work on Xatu!" Ariana declared. "Xatu, fly up!" The psychic bird tried to fly up, but Tangela's vine whipped upwards right after it, smacking it from behind with a powerful crack. Xatu fainted as it hit the ground.

"Bah" Ariana growled. "That was unfair."

"We won!" Walker cheered.

"Not yet" Proton said with a wicked grin. Two Team Rocket grunts saluted as they entered the top floor.

"Sir! We have the crazy red headed girl and we're ready to take off!" the announced.

"Good." The rocket executives fled the building. Proton looked back at Walker. "Next time, I'll make sure to make you bleed!" Then, he followed his fellow officers downstairs. Walker and the group began to go after them when the girl halted them.

"I'm sorry to stop you like this" she said. "My name is...well, that isn't important."

"It is for a beautiful girl like you!" Jerry declared, holding her hand.

"We have to stop Team Rocket" Walker said. "They have Whitney."

"How do you know it is her?" Kalvin asked. "Oh yeah, they said crazy girl with red hair."

"I thought you didn't care about her" Jerry teased.

"I don't" Walker replied. "But, when she threw me, she pickpockted my Captain America comics! I will get my comics back, Team Rocket!"

Jerry and Kalvin sweatdropped. "Anyways" Jerry said to the mysterious girl. "Your name...?"

"Jasmine" seh replied. "I need your help. My Ampharos is sick and it needs medicine from acorss the sea in Cianwood City. I can't leave the town to get it because..." she stopped. "Could you just please help me?"

Jerry nodded. "Of course. My motto is, if a girl is in need of help, do anything at all possible to get her in bed..." He blushed. "I mean, to save the day. The other one is my brother's motto."


	26. Sea Captain Kalvin

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 26: Sea Captain Kalvin

The gang was currently on the S.S. Aqua, on their way to Cianwood City. Jerry sent out Croconaw and threw a toy bone across the main deck. "Go get it, boy!" he coaxed. Croconaw ran for the bone, picked it up in his mouth and brought it back to his trainer. "Good boy!" Jerry smiled, petting it on the head.

"What are you doing?" Walker asked, drinking a root beer.

"I'm playing fetch with Croconaw" Jerry answered, throwing the toy bone again. However, his aim was off and he hit an old guy in the head. "Whoops! Sorry about that, mister!"

Kalvin was staring at a dvd. "Some cute girl gave me a dvd to watch called Mr. & Mrs. Smith."

"Really?" Walker replied. "I got a dvd from a girl too. Except mine is called How to avoid Cannibals. Not asure if she was trying to give me a message or not."

"Be the ball..." Jerry said to himself, swinging a golf club and knocking a golf ball into the sea.

"What are you doing?" Kalvin asked.

"Playing golf" Jerry answered. "Five!"

"The term is four" Kalvin replied.

"But, it is my fifth golf ball" Jerry explained. "So I'm saying five." Kalvin sighed.

"I'm surprised you didn't try to drive some elaborate vehicle through the water instead of riding on the cruise ship" Walker mused.

"I did try" Jerry announced. "Of course, how was I supposed to know a BM-27 Uragan designed tank would sink in the sea."

"What is the BM-27...thing?"

"It's a Russian self propelled rocket launcher system made a long time ago" Jerry explained. "I copied the scematics for it in Olive City and built it before we left. All that hard work for nothing. I even lost my cds of Warren Hill."

"That's...so sad..." Walker said, sweatdropping.

Kalvin smiled. "Wow, you listen to Warren Hill?"

"It's better than listening to Cassie and her hit song Must Be Love" Jerry replied.

"Hey, it was one time, leave me alone!" a fifth grade boy yelled at him, running around in a circle.

"Anyways" Walker said to break the awkwardness. "I now have an new favorite baseball team called the Chicago White Sox."

"That's cool" Jerry remarked. "Man, I have been playing alot of Civilazation."

"Who'd you play as?" Kalvin asked.

"Japan" Jerry answered. "You should have seen what I named my villages." A black clothed man snuck towards the stairs to where the rooms were located. "Hey, it's a thief!" jerry shouted loudly, startling the thief. He ran for it, prompting Jerry and Croconaw to follow.

Walker sighed. "Cheese on a bun..." He soon followed as well, silently threatening Jerry for making him miss the latest episode of CSI. The thief tried to run down the red carpeted hallway below deck, but Croconaw tackled him, both tumbling into an unlocked cabin. Inside were a ton of gold, silver and crystal jewels of all shapes and sizes. Almost unoticable to the human eye were little ruby, sapphire and emerald gemstones lining the walls. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore..."

"Good work, Croconaw!" Jerry shouted. "We're rich! I mean, I'm rich!" He looked at Walker who frowned at him. "We're both rich?" Walker shook his head. "Oh well, more for me!"

"You aren't taking treasure that you just stopped a thief from stealing!" Walker yelled.

"Come on" Jerry urged. "Who the bacon will care?"

"How about the person who owns the room?" Walker suggested.

"That would be me" a familiar voice answered, removing his dark clothes to reveal Eusine in his usual blue getup.

"It's Eusine!" Jerry announced.

"Who's Eusine?" Walker asked. "Oh wait! Isn't he who you talked about as that sci fi weird person?"

"I'm not weird!" Eusine yelled. "I just happen to be rich and searching for the legendary dogs, one of which your friend Jerry has in his possession."

A police officer ran into the room. "Freeze! I heard someone in this room has possession of cocaine!"

"He just possession" Walker replied lamely. "Nobody said anything about cocaine..."

"Is that lip you're giving me?" the officer asked, hitting him with a baton. He handcuffed Walker. "You're coming with me, punk. And you better tell me where the cocaine is."

"I don't have any coc..." Walker tried to say.

"Check in the top drawer of his dresser, room twenty five" Jerry called to the officer, who gave him a thumbs up.

"You turned your back on your friend?" Eusine asked.

"No. That was our friend Kalvin just playing around. At least I think it was."

Kalvin was actually on deck, preparing to initiate his plot to take control of the boat. Having wanted to be a sialor for some time now, he knocked the captain out with a wax on, wax off trick he learned from The Karate Kid and then proceeded to sharply turn the boat. It lurched to the right, causing Jerry and Eusine to fall on their backs. Walker and the officer also went flying into a wall. "This really takes some getting used to" Kalvin said to himself.

"This hurts alot worse when you are handcuffed" Walker yelped in pain.

"This would be alot better with if we had a tv guide" Jerry said to Eusine as they ate popcorn and watched Deadliest Warriors.

"I'll get some butter" Eusine offered, getting up. "Wait a second! Whya re we watching tv when I could be taking your...ahhhhh!" Kalvin had lurched the boat to the other side this time.

"My ahhhhs are not for sale" Jerry replied, drinking some pepsi.

"I knew I should have read the manual" Kalvin muttered under his breath. "I wonder what this button labeled Rocket Power - Do Not Touch does?" he pressed the switch. "Who wouldn't?" he asked, grinning to himself. The boat suddenly flew forward as it sailed quickly towards a group of rocks. "This isn't good!" He picked the captain's uncocncious body up and propped him up against the wheel, adding a half drank bottle of wine into his hand for the extra effect. "The captain's drunk!" he cried, feinging innocence.

"I better check it out" the officer said, heading up deck. "By the way, you're free to go."

"That's great" Walker replied as the officer left. "Wait. Come back! I don't have the key! I don't have the...ah, screw it! It isn't like we'll hit sharp rocks and crash or anything..." The boat suddenly smashed into sharp rocks and crashed ashore of Cianwood Island. "Didn't see that coming."


	27. The 4kids Law

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 27: The 4kids Law

"I still can't believe you crashed the S.S. Aqua" Walker exclaimed, shaking his head.

"It wasn't my fault" Kalvin replied. "Besides, I have a cookie..." Walker snatched it and ate it.

"My cookie.." he said in a low voice. "Okay, I forgive you for the near death expirence. By the way, has anyone seen that weird guy?"

Eusine jumped in front of them. "Ha! It is I, Eusine, who you were talking about! Now, we battle!" A building to their left exploded with noise. A trainer with a beard walked out of the building labeled gym.

"That wasn't a hard gym" he said to himself. "I, Tony, will win the Pokemon league with the power of strength and abridged series!" He took a quick glance at the destroyed boat, then at the three trainers and Eusine, then back to the boat before walking away again. "Okay..."

"There's a gym here?" Walker asked. "I want to take this one!"

Eusine tapped his Pokeball. "Nobosy leaves until I get Entei."

"Nobosy?" Jerry and Kalvin asked.

"Nobody! I meant nobody!"

"He means buissness..." Walker whispered, tossing out Togepi. "Okay Eusine, let's see what you got!" A roar caught their attention. On the rocks ahead, Raikou stood, the yellow legendary dog staring at them unblinking.

"I must capture Raikou!" Eusine exclaimed. "Quagsire, go!"

"Gigidy!" Jerry and Kalvin both said at once, laughing afterwards.

"I said Quagsire, not Quagmire..." Eusine sighed.

"Our bad..." they apologized.

Walker pointed at Raikou. "Sorry Eusine, but this dog is being tamed by me! Togepi, use Metrenome!"

"Ah, then we'll see who gets it first. Quagsire, use Slam on Togepi!" Quagsire slammed into the poor egg Pokemon before it could waggle its fingers.

"Jerk!" Walker shouted. "Fine then! Metrenome, again!" Togepi waggled its fingers and this time, an attack occured. A blinding flash occured, blinding everyone but Raikou.

"Nice going, you butt!" Jerry cried.

"I'll never be able to see breasts again!" Kalvin yelled

"He needs a doctor!" Jerry exclaimed. "Good thing I am one. I am Dr. Kelso's assistant, let me take away the pain." Jerry, now dressed in a scrub uniform, took out a mallet and hit Kalvin in the knee caps.

"Owwwwwwwww!"

"See?" Jerry replied. "I told you I could get rid of the pain in your eyes. Now it's in your knee caps. Now, about my fee..."

"I'll...stab you..." Kalvin grunted through grit teeth, reaching for his Space Pen, which allows the holder to write in zero gravity. **(I'm not joking, look it up!)**

"Easy Kalvin..." Jerry said, gulping. "You can't stab a doctor."

Eusine ignored them. "Quagsire, use Mud Bomb!"

"Hold it!" Walker shouted, holding his hands up. "No, no, no, no, no! Do you realise that we would be in so much trouble if this was a 4kids production?"

"How so?" Eusine asked.

"You said bomb. It therefore implies that your Pokemon is using a bomb and not a strange mud attack. Man, it's the Spirit Bomb incident all over again!"

"What do you want me to say?" Eusine asked, crossing his arms.

"Well, the easiest way to fix this problem is to use the 4kids method. We'll call it a Mud Blast attack! Blast is so much better than bomb, after all. Am I right?"

"Not really..." Jerry tried to say.

"Shut up. Now, get back to attacking Raikou, Eusine."

Eusine nodded slowly. "Okay...Mud...Blast?" Quagsire gave him a strange look and just stood there. Raikou used Quick Attack on Quagsire, causing it to be hurt. "Darn it! Never mind, use Mud..."

"Ah, ah, ah!" Walker interupted, moving his right index finger back and forth.

"I wasn't going to say...that word...I was going to say Mud Shot."

"Oh...well then never mind..."

Use Mud Shot!" Eusine ordered. Quagsire threw mud at Raikou, who watched it harmlessly miss and hit the sandy ground. It yawned at them.

"Metrenome!" Walker yelled. Togepi waggled its fingers again and this time, it retreated into its Pokeball. Instead, Bayleaf came out, looking around confused. "Yeah, just throw Bayleaf under the bus!" Walker muttered sarcastically. "You coward..."

"Your Pokemon sure likes no combative moves like Flash and Baton Pass" Eusine chuckled. "Quagsire, Slam attack on Raikou!" Quagsire missed again and slammed into a rock nearby, smashing it to pieces.

"This is boring" Kalvin yanwed. Farfetch'd poked him in the leg with its leak, a mischivious smile on its face. "Oh no! How did you follow me all the way across the ocean?" Farfetch'd began chasing Kalvin with the leak dancing in its wing.

Walker dug around in his Pokeball collection. "Hey, I still have this Fast ball" he said. He threw it at Raikou, instantly catching it without fail due to how fast it is. "Huh, how about that? I guess I didn't need to battle after all!" He returned Bayleaf. "Okay guys, we need to get the medicine...Farfetch'd followed Kalvin?"

"Yep" Jerry answered, snapping pictures for Facebook.

Eusine sat in the sand, Quagsire beside him. "Again, I failed to capture a legendary dog...I wonder if I'm just not destined to capture one?" he looked to Quagsire, who looked away. "You're right, all problems are solved with a hamburger."


	28. The Gift is Always Greener on the Other

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 28: The Gift is Always Greener on the Other Side

Walker was preparing for the fifth gym by training his Raikou to bey his commands. "Use Thunder!" he commanded. Raikou struck out electricity at the boulders around them, breaking each rock one by one. "Great! We'll defeat the gym leader for sure with that power!"

Jerry and Kalvin had gone to get medicine while Walker trained. "So, did you swipe his credit card?" kalvin asked.

Jerry nodded. "Yeah. He's paying me back for my destroyed Batmobile. I'm going to use his money to buy me a Mitsubishi Minica."

A whitish blond haired kid jumped in their way. "Mitsubishi cars suck!" he shouted.

Jerry cracked his knuckles. "Oh really? How about you take that back?"

"My name is John Andy and I never back down from a challenge!" the kid cried. "Delibird, go!" The santa bird made Jerry crack up with laughter. "What's so funny?"

"It's just that...haha...dude, I can't believe there is a Pokemon that looks like Santa...hahaha! Hoothoot...go!" Hoothoot looked questioningly at Delibird. "Go on ahead, Kalvin. I'll battle John Andy while you get the medicine for Jasmine. I know it's a far journey but if you need to, leave me behind."

Kalvin nodded and walked two steps to the right where he found the building. "Oh yes, really hard journey." He saw a man with crazy glasses behind the counter. "I'd like to buy some illegal drugs please."

"Okay. I'll just need you to sign this form stating that you have permission from your parents to buy this." Kalvin stared at the piece of paper, unsure if he should forge his parents consent. A sudden thought crossed his mind, an idea of diabolical proportions. He wrote on the form and handed it back.

"There you go. My parent's consent."

The owner of the pharmacy stared at the form. "Okay, so this says you are over eight-teen, your name is Kalvin Caul, son of Walker Caul and Whitney Caul, correct?"

"That is correct" Kalvin lied.

"Okay." The owner packed some drugs into a bag and handed it to him. "That'll be 2500 dollars."

Kalvin thought long and hard about this. That was the exact amount that the medicine for Ampharos would cost and he knew that most of Walker's credit cards were expired due to over excessive cash he spent at a Swashbuckle tour. Swashbuckle was his favorite thrash metal band so he had taken Walker's newly refinanced credit cards and put them to good use for backstage tickets for everyone at the concert, a whole total of 1,473 people. "I'll take it" Kalvin finally said, handing the prized money over to the owner.

"Bye! I hope you a rehappy with you purchase!" the owner called to him.

"Not yet" Kalvin muttered. "But I'm about to be soon."

Meanwhile, Jerry and John's battle had begun. "Delibird, use Present!" John ordered. Delicird pulled a random box out of its sack of random items and handed it to Hoothoot. Hoothoot eyed it carefully but moved quickly as Jerry picked the box up.

"Is it a dvd box set of Juken Sentai Gekiranger?" Jerry asked excitedly as the package began to glow with a bright light. The package exploded, leaving Jerry stunned. "I guess not..." He recovered and pointed toward Delibird. "Hoothoot, use Take Down!" Hoothoot charged at Delibird who pulled another sur[prise out its bag of tricks. It began to multiply, confusing Hoothoot as to which one was the real one.

"Surprised?" John asked, being arrogant. "I taught Delibird a couple of special moves. Now give Hoohoot a present." Delibird removed a package from its bag and threw it at Hoothoot. The one foot walking bird was caught off guard as the package exploded mid-air, knocking it back into the sand. Suddenly, it became surrounded by a bright, white light as it began to evolve. In its place was a wiser and more older looking bird.

"That's a Noctowl!" Jerry cheered. "Use Hypnosis!" Noctowl gazed at Delibird, putting the Pokemon to sleep instantly. "Good. Now that it can't do anything, go in for a Take own!" Noctowl soared toward Delibird.

"Sleep Talk!" John shouted.

"Oh crap!" Jerry yelled. "Get out of there, Noctowl!" Delibird use present while still asleep, tossing the gift to Noctowl. It landed on its back and opened in a suspensefuly scene. However, instead of exploding, it bathed Noctowl it a golden light. "Is it...healing Noctowl?" Jerry asked.

John sweatdropped. "Crap. I forgot it does that too sometimes..."

Jerry cracked his knuckles. "Heck yeah! Noctowl, use Dream eater to continue to heal yourself and weaken Delibird!" Noctowl concentrated and fired a hypnotic ray at the sleeping bird, eating at its dreams.

"Shall I show you what it is dreaming about?" the creepy map guy asked, who had been standing behind Jerry the whole time.

"Whoa! Dude, where did you come from?"

"I followed you all the way from Cherrygrove City" he replied. "That isn't stalkerish at all, by the way. I just want to sell you a map."

"Bug off!" Jerry shouted in a britsih accent. "Now Noctowl, Take Down!" Noctowl flew at its prey at high speed, crashing into the sleeping Delibird. While it took mild recoil damage, Delibird was knocked out.

"My Delibird!" John cried, returning it. "I'll get revenge for this! We're enmies from now on!"

"Or we could just be friends" Jerry offered.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess we could. I'm John Andy."

"My name is Jerry Boss." They shook hands as Kalvin returned. "Kalvin! Did you get the medicine?"

"Um...no. But I got a great discount on some weed" he said.

"Dude, what about Ampharos?" Jerry cried. "How is Jasmine going to fall in love with me now?"

"Calm down, man! You need to get high...on life. How about a brownie?"

"No. I don't trust your brownies. Knowing you, you'dburn someone's ear off anyway."

"Don't bring that up!" Kalvin shouted.

Walker stopped training and looked at his pockets. "Well raikou, since you've been training so hard, we'll get some Pokemon Food for you. I have my wallet here...somewhere...uh oh. Where is my credit cards and my wallet? Darn it Jerry and Kalvin! Not again!"

**References:**

**Juken Sentai Gekiranger** - **Its footage was used for the American TV series __Power Rangers Jungle Fury__;**

**Swashbuckle** - **are an American thrash metal band from Mercer County, New Jersey, formed in 2005. They are currently signed to Nuclear Blast Records.[1] The band is known for its pirate image and humorous stage performances.**

**The Mitsubishi Minica is a kei car produced by Mitsubishi Motors for the Japanese domestic market since October 1962. It was first built by Shin Mitsubishi Heavy-Industries, one of Mitsubishi Heavy Industries' three regional automotive companies until they were merged in 1964. It is the oldest Mitsubishi passenger car still in production, and the only one which predates the company itself.**


	29. Lessons in Oohh, Mama!

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 29: Lessons in Oohh, Mama!

Walker entered the Cianwood City gym, confident in his abilites. "Where's the gym leader?" he demanded outloud. A huge stone flew past his face and took the door behind him off its hinges. "Mommy!" he squeeked.

The gym leader, a ripped man with a look that resembled a man who would later become Gonzap in a video game, appeared. "I am Chuck, the gym leader of this island. You dare to challenge me to a battle? Good! Now let's see what you can do! If you win, I will hand you my gym badge! Go, Poliwrath!"

"A water type?" Walker asked, blinking. "No problem! Go, Raikou!"

"So, you managed to tame a legendary dog?" Chuck mused. "I see. That is pretty interesting. You may have the first move, challenger."

"Raikou, use Quick Attack!" Walker ordered. Raikou sprang at Poliwrath with blinding speed. Chuck closed his eyes slowly.

"Poliwrath, intercept with Submission." Poliwrath caught Raikou as it made impact and recklessly threw it across the ground, hurting itself slightly in the process.

Meanwhile, as Walker struggled for his gym badge, Kalvin and Jerry had stolen a boat from a bay called Georgia and were cruising at high speed for Olivine City. "Do you think that Walker will be mad that we took the only availible boat from the dock?" Jerry asked.

Kalvin shook his head. "Nah. Well, he might, but we'll be so far away, that he won't be able to do much about it. Besides, I heard that people who defeat the Cianwood City gym are somehow able to fly back to Olivine. Just a myth really, but it may be true."

"That's absurd!" Jerry laughed. "That's almost as crazy as someone seeing a real life unicorn!" A siren went off behind them and they turned to see a female cop of about age 23 tailing them. "I knew we should have paid for the medicine instead of rainding the medicine store."

"Pull over, thieves!" the cop shouted. "Or I'll give you time in the slammer for theft and a ticket for speeding!"

Kalvin cranked up the speed. "I don't mind going to jail for theft, but I refuse to get a speeding ticket!"

Jerry watched the female cop catch up to them and when she was almost directly behind them, donned sunglasses and geled a blonde wig, putting it on. "Hey baby" he spoke with an Elvis sounding voice. "How about you arrest me instead and we'll play prison games together?" She increased speed and slapped him in the face. "Oohh, mama!"

"Enough messing around, Johnny Bravo!" Kalvin yelled. "Land ho!" The boat crashed ashore, sending Jerry and Kalvin flying into the almost top of the lighthouse. "At least we didn't need to walk up all those steps" Kalvin remarked.

"She wanted me" Jerry pouted. "Don't tell Jasmine about her, okay?"

Kalvin sweatdropped. "You're going to be a horrible bachelor." They walked up one flight of stairs to reach Jasmine and the sick Ampharos.

"Oh! You're back!" she exclaimed.

"Worried about me, weren't you?" jerry asked, donning the wig and sunglasses again.

"No. I've been worried about my sick Pokemon" Jasmine said with a frown. Jerry facefell immedietly.

Kalvin handed her the medicine. "Here you go...hold on!" He snatched the bag back and took a smell. "Whoops! Looks like I've been smoking medicine. No wonder I didn't get high..."

Jerry slapped his forehead. "Idiot..."

Meanwhile, Walker had his gym badge almost wrapped up. Now dressed in a poncho, he was determined to win. "Raikou! Rain Dance attack!" Raikou caused a powerful rainstorm to occuer inside the gym.

"That powers up my water moves" Chuck replied. "But, I have a different move in mind. Mind Reader." Poliwrath stared at Raikou and apparently read its mind. "Good. Now Dynamicpunch!"

"That move has such a low percentage of hitting, I'm not going to bother telling Raikou to dodge" Walker exclaimed arrogantly. Poliwrath's glowing fist made contact with raikou, instantly cuasing it to become confused. "What? No way!"

"Mind Reader makes the next move hit without fail" Chuck explained, crossing his arms. "You should ahve known that."

"My poncho says we can do this!" Walker exclaimed. "Right poncho? Hello? Hm, it abandond me. Oh well, Raikou! Quick Attack!" Raikou hit itself in cofnusion. "Okay...Thunder!" Getting a lucky hit, Raikou blasted Poliwrath with electricity, knocking it out.

"You have won my gym badge" Chuck announced, handing it to Walker. "By the way, I saw your friends taking off in a boat awhile ago. I hope you don't need to cross the water."

Walker gritted his teeth. "Friends my foot. You know what? I think I'm going to use my kwoledge of Jerry's Ebay account to place a 140 dollar bid on the trophy of the 1874 FA Cup final."


	30. Pokemon Operation

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 30: Pokemon Operation

Jerry faced off against Jasmine for the sixth gym badge. "Okay, how many Pokemon a piece?" Jerry asked.

"We'll use one" Jasmine answered. "First, what will you use?"

"I'll go with my Feraligatr!" Jerry announced, tossing the Pokemon into battle.

"Wait, Croconaw evolved?" Kalvin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I gave it a ton of rare candies from the ship."

Jasmine released Steelix. "Challenger, you can have the first move."

Jerry nodded. "Okay Feraligatr, show her your moves! Use your special attack!" Jasmine and Steelix both cringed at the sound of that. Could it be Hydro Cannon or Ice Beam or even something more devastating? Feraligatr turned around and then looked at Steelix, a Mr. Potato Head mask on its face. "Scary, isn't it?' Jerry grinned, looking pretty proud of himself.

Jasmine sighed. "If you won't take this battle seriously, then fine. Steelix, Rock Polish!" Steelix began polishing itself.

"Okaym, what does that move do?" Jerry asked, looking at Kalvin.

"Yeah, like I'd know?" Kalvin responded. "Think, what would Gumball do?"

"What would Gumball do?" Jerry asked himself. The idea was obvious. He charged head first into Steelix, hurting himself in the process. "Owww, that didn't work!"

Jasmine and Steelix sweatdropped. "Come on, now you're just making fun of us..."

Jerry pointed at Steelix. "Fine. No more games. Use Hydro Pump!" Feraligatr aimed a water bazooka at Steelix and fired a stream of water at the rock and stell Pokemon.

"Use Iron Tail to break!" the gym leader ordered. Steelix lifted its tail up and smashed through the water with incredible speed.

"No way!" Kalvin cried. "That Steelix is fast!"

"Maybe Rock Polish increased its speed up..." Jerry comtemplated. "Then I'll have to use the Bowser defense." He handed a mushroom to Kalvin.

"What's this?" Kalvin asked, staring at it.

"An Inhale Shroom" Jerry answered, dressed like Fawful. "You know you want it."

"I do want it" Kalvin admitted, eating it greedily. "What's it do anyway?"

"You can inhale any enemy you want" Jerry announced proudly. "Now inhale Steelix!"

Kalvin shook his head. "nah...I'm too...tired..." Kalvin zonked out, leaving Jerry ever so embarressed.

"Whoops. Guess that was a Sleep Shroom. Oh well. Feraligatr, use..." He noticed Jasmine and Steelix asleep on the battlefield. "Hey, you..." He shook his head, unable to come up with the right words. "Feraligatr, use Hydro Pump to wake it up!" Feraligatr sprayed a powerful jet of water at Steelix, waking both Pokemon and trainer up.

"I'm sorry, but you were taking so long..." Jasmine apologized.

"I'll teach you to call a doctor boring!" Jerry challenged. "Feraligatr, use Dragon Claw to tear open the patient!" The big blue alligater slashed at Feraligatr, injuring it.

"It learned Dragon Claw!" Jasmine exclaimed, astonished.

"The patient appears to be in more serious condition than I thought" Jerry frowned. "It needs a wash through of the wounds. Use Hydro Pump." Feraligatr splashed water at the wounds it had inflicted with Dragon Claw. Steelix hit the ground, in pain.

"Oh no!" Jasmine cried. "Is this the power of a doctor?"

"Not only am I a doctor..." Jerry bragged. "I'm also an amateur surgeon. The patient needs to rest now. To end this operation, use Superpower!" Feraligatr tried to lift Steelix, but the metal Pokemon knocked it back with its breath.

"That was Dragonbreath" Jasmine explained. "It has a small chance of paralyzing its foe." She noticed Feraligatr sparking with electricty. I'm sorry, but it seems the paralysis kicked in after all. Here, if you surrender the battle, I'll fix up your Pokemon good as new."

"How about fixing me up?" Jerry suggested, earning a sigh from Jasmine.

"Do you always joke around?" She asked, holding her head.

"Who says I'm joking?"

Jasmine raised an eyebrow. "Never mind...Steelix, Hyper Beam!" Steelix quickly charged up energy and fired it at Feraligatr, sending it flying across the room.

"An apple a day may keep the doctor away" Jerry quoted. "But it doesn't mean the doctor won't be angry. Feraligatr, quick! It's got to recharge so use Superpower! It's our only hope of sedating it!" Feraligatr charged at Steelix, once again lifting it up. It proceeded to slam the Pokemon on its back, knocking it out.

"You have bested me" Jasmine admitted. "Though you are strange. Here, you can have this badge." She pressed it into Jerry's hand.

"I love you too" Jerry whispered.

"Eh?" Jasmine cried, withdrawing her hand swiftly.

Jerry blew her kisses as he exited the building, dragging the still sleeping Kalvin outside. "She totally digs me" he said to himself.

Walker climbed out of the ocean. "You...!" he yelled, pointing accusingly at his friends.

"Oh hey" Jerry greeted. "How'd you get back to Olvine?"

"I don't even want to talk about it!" Walker shouted. He noticed the badge in Jerry's hand. "Is that...?"

"Yeah, I earned the badge thanks to you slacking off. Don't make it a habit, okay?"

"What?" Walker yelled. "I was stuck on an island! And for your information, I won a badge..."

"Well, we can both agree that Bowser's Inside Story is a great game" Jerry replied, chaning the subject.

"Yeah..." Walker agreed. "Have you gotten past the..." They started talking about their games, leaving Kalvin in the sand to fend for himself against a group of curious Kinglers.


	31. The Legacy of Team Rocket Part 1

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 31: The Legacy of Team Rocket Part 1

Walker, Jerry and Kalvin faced off against their counterparts from Team Rocket, a battle ready to unfold. Walker had his new Murkrow out against Proton's Weezing, Jerry had tossed out his recently captured Misdreavus against Petrel's nasty Raticate and Kalvin had a new Pokemon as well, a Poliwag that stood ready to topple Ariana's Magcargo. The intensity was definently in the air. _'The Rocket Warehouse...that's right, we finally reached the infamous Warehouse of Team Rocket located in icy Mahogany Town.'_ Walker's thoughts ran wild at the thought that the infamous criminal organization would finally be defeated once and for all. _'I still can't believe how incredible the journey to get here was...'_

Walker, Jerry and Kalvin had finally entered Mahogany Town in the hopes of attaining the seventh gym badge of Johto. "So guys" Walker said. "We're almost there."

Kalvin threw a paper airplane at Jerry. "See? It can fly if you break the left wing."

"I do see" Jerry agreed, examining it.

Walker sighed. "You two are hopeless."

"At least we aren't romantisizing about a crazy girl" Jerry teased.

"I am not thinking about Whitney!" Walker yelled. "I told you, she has my wallet."

"That's what she said" Kalvin laughed. They both looked at him funny. "Really, it is what she said. I got a text from her a few days ago."

Walker threw his hands up into the air."I don't even want to know how you got her on your phone and I don't care. The only thing that matters is..."

"Campers!" Jerry cried. "Duck!"

Walker frowned as Kalvin ducked with Jerry. "Honestly, can't you be serious for one moment..." A sniper's bullet whizzed past his skull. "Yipe!" He ducked with his friends.

"I warned you, dude" Jerry chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah. Shut it. Who is shooting at us? And why?" They took a sharp glance upward, noticing three men in Team Rocket uniforms positioned on top of a metal roof above a pharmacy building.

"Figures" Kalvin spat, standing up. The snipers aimed for him.

"Do a barrel roll, fox!" Jerry yelled. Kalvin barrel rolled out of the way of a bullet, using his pen to block a second and finally punching the last.

"That made no sense at all..." Walker sweatdropped.

"It does when you have this" Kalvin explained, whipping out a bottle of H2O.

"That's just regular water" Walker pointed out.

"Nah, I saw it on Space Jam! It gives people super strength!" Kalvin insisted.

"Sure it does, Kalvin..." Jerry agreed, smiling at the joke.

"Uh, guys..." Walker tried to say. The snipers pointed their famases at the trio once again, ready to shoot.

"We better run before they go ghost on us" Jerry suggested. They didn't have to. A shadowy figure appeared behind the snipers, a long, red cape flowing around him. He kicked the first one to the ground, knocking him unconcious. To the second, he grabbed him by the shirt collar and slammed him into the metal roof he had been sitting on. The third took aim and shot the mysterious figure, hitting him dead on in the left eye. The figure didn't even slow, waving his hand. A powerful beam of light crashed into the building, rocking the town with a massive explosion. The trio blocked their eyes from the scene, unable to see in the dust anyway. When they looked again, the figure sat atop a Pokemon, a dragon Pokemon. He flew down towards them, a friend or foe, but powerful nonetheless.

"He might be trouble" Kalvin winced.

"Hello" he greeted, his left eye shut from the pain within. "My name is Lance, the dragon master of Kanto. I have arrived in Johto to deal with the situation of Team Rocket. Unfortunently, they've become a bit tougher since they invaded Johto and I need some help to infiltrate their base. Upon arriving, I heard about you three." He nodded to them. "Walker, Jerry, Kalvin. Those are the names that have become infamous within the ranks of Team Rocket. From the way they shot at you, I don't think they're fans of yours, nor you of them. Will you help me destroy them?" The stranger they didn't know had asked them to just up and forget about their plans and help him destroy an evil organization. Any logical thinkers would have thought it through, weighed the risks, ate some potato chips and watched Deadliest Warriors reruns.

"We'll help" Kalvin said with a smile. "I've wanted to beat through Team Rocket for some time now. But, can we just capture one of them? She's really pretty and has a mean disposition but she's in love with me..."

Lance sent a cold glare his way. "You're either here to help me or you're in my way. Which is it?"

"He's a nice guy..." Walker remarked sarcastically.

Jerry nodded. "I wonder if he's ever played Command and Conquer? I wonder if he has a PSN account?"

"Maybe you should ask him" Walker whispered.

Jerry started forward. "Lance, do you have a..."

"No!" Lance yelled back. "And also, I don't know the place where Ebay's main office is!"

"He must be psychic.." Jerry announced, surprised.

"No. I read it on your hand" Lance answered, still cold and glaring.

Jerry erased the writing from his hand as Walker spoke. "Fine, we'll help you, for now. Until you give us reason not to, that is."

Lance nodded to him. "Fair enough." He fished around for three Pokeballs. "Here, you three keep these." He tossed one to Walker, one to Jerry and one to Kalvin. "Those are new Pokemon. Murkrow for Walker, Misdreavus for Jerry and finally Poliwag for Kalvin. Now, let us go investigate the Lake of Rage."

The group advanced north towards the lake. Once, they encoutered a Rocket outpost and were forced to barnd themselves in brown, linen cloaks to prevent themselves from being recognized. They disabled the Rocket forces and continued on their way. Along the journey, Lance explained the events in Kanto and how he became a major enemy to Team Rocket in the past. He also explained that he was a member of the Kanto elite four, but no one really cared. They reached a shining, blue lake. It sparkled more than Justin Beiber's hair, which is to say it sparkled alot. "Here we are" Lance announced. "The Lake of Rage. My intelligence tells me that Team Rocket has been up to something that has to do with this lake."

"I wonder what it could be..." Jerry wondered, a Red Gyarados towering above him in the water. He turned and quickly walked away. "Um, dudes..."

Lance was quick to move as the giant sea monster roared and struck out its jaws at Jerry. Lance prevented the attack using a smoke ball to cloud its vision. "Dragonite, go! We need you!" Dragonite burst from its Pokeball and tackled the foe with massive strength, not waiting for its trainer to give the order. "That was Dragon Rush" Lance explained. "It's a very powerful dragon type move." Gyarados wasn't about to give up so easily. It thrashed about in vain as Dragonite soared higher into the air. Dragonite looked at Lance, who gave it a nod. Dragonite charged up its fist with electricity and threw the punch at Gyarados, electrifying it.

"That's some Thunderpunch!" Walker exclaimed.

Gyarados went down and Lance threw a Pokeball at it, catching it without fail. "So, they plan on using the lake to make Gyarados..."

"How did you figure that out so quickly?" Kalvin asked.

"Because I'm the son of Sherlock Holmes" Lance answered, giving a straight face. Everyone blinked and Lance shook his head. "You three are gullible. Sherlock Holmes isn't even real. I know because the lake is always populated with Magikarp and not Gyarados, much less red ones. My guess is, this has to do with the black market." He motioned the others forward. "Here's what we'll do..."

Later that night, three figures cloaked in brown linen entered a warehouse building, searching for something. A green haired man looked at them with suspision. "Hey. What you are three doing here?"

Kalvin made a quick gesture. "We've arrived to meet up with the boss. Bring him out here, now. Before I get angry."

The green haired man shook his head. "No can do. Are you recruits? If so, I'll need you to sign this form..." A sharp chop to his neck caused him to go out like a light. Jerry gave Kalvin a thumbs up. A guard who had been on duty sounded an alarm within the warehouse, alerting the building of intruders. The trio removed their cloaks to reveal their identities.

"No sense being sneaky now" Walker sighed. The three ran down a flight of stairs. "So, all we have to do is get to the generator, right?"

"That's what Lance said" Kalvin answered. The three suddenly ran into a roadblock as Proton, Petrel and Ariana appeared, standing in their way.

"Oh no you don't" Ariana smiled wolfishly. "It's about time we settled things, rats."

Proton sneered at Walker. "This time I'll clobber you!" Walker rolled his eyes in response.

Petrel gave Jerry a handshake. "It's best to be polite with your enemies before you erase them from existence" he said with a smile. He removed his hand.

Jerry glared at him. "Then I better be extra nice to you."

"Nice enough to lend me your PS3?" Petrel asked.

"Hell no!" The six threw out their Pokemon, ready to battle.


	32. The Legacy of Team Rocket Part 2

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 32: The Legacy of Team Rocket Part 2

Walker pointed at Weezing. "Murkrow, use Wing Attack!" Murkrow flew at Weezing, intent on clobbering it.

Proton gave his opponent a sneer. "Hmph. You think I wouldn't prepare for you? Weezing, Sludge!" Weezing spat sludge at Murkrow, hitting its mark and knocking the bird into the wall.

"Murkrow, escape with Shadow Ball!" Murkrow aimed its beak at the sludge and broken free, once again flying toward Weezing.

"Smokescreen" Proton ordered. Weezing's gases prevented sight as Murkrow flew blindly at his opponent. He looked wildly for Weezing, but found only smog. Walker was also blinded. "Good. Now Sludge sneak attack!" Weezing appeared behind Murkrow and fired a round of sludge at the crow, knocking it around a bit.

"Stay strong, Murkrow!" Walker yelled. "Flap your wings and disperse the smoke!" Murkrow tried, but was hit in the back once again by Sludge.

"Give up, kid!" Proton laughed. "You stand no chance against my Weezing! Sludge, again!"

"Sucker Punch!" Walker shouted into the hazy smog. Murkrow responded by dodging the incoming attack and using his wing to slam into Weezing, hurting the gas Pokemon and also eliminating the smog.

"You brat...!" Proton grunted, glaring at the smirking trainer. "The games are over! Fire Blast!"

"Fire Blast?" Walker cried in question, unsure of how that was even possible. "Cheese on a bun!"

Jerry's battle with Petrel had also started. "Misdreavus, use Confuse Ray to confuse the target. Then, we'll call in an airstrike and level the place."

"You won't get the chance" Petrel said matter of factly. "Swords Dance!" The giant rat increased its strength and held its ground as the confusing ray passed through it, harming it in no way. "Told you so" Petrel said with a smile. He donned greyish hair and a monacle. "Because my Raticate is fabulous!"

Jerry sweatdropped. "No, don't ever do that again..."

Petrel frowned. "You ruin all of my fun...fine. Raticate, Iron Tail." Raticate took Misdreavus and Jerry by surprise by powering up its tail and slamming it into the female ghost, inflicting some serious damage.

"What the bacon was that?" Jerry wondered.

Kalvin had his hands full on his end too. "Poliwag, dodge!" Magcargo's Earth Power missed as Poliwag jumped into the air above it. However, it couldn't keep it up. Magcargo had used Yawn on it at the start of the fight, making it more drowsy as the battle progressed.

Ariana flicked her hair around. "How horrible it must be for you to be losing so badly. Not that I care, of course."

Kalvin frowned at her. "Maybe I can make you care about me. All I want to do is be loved!" he sang. "Loved by you!"

Ariana's eardrums felt like they would bleed. "Stop the pain!" she screached.

Kalvin took his chance. "Sorry my love. Poliwag, use Bubblebeam!" With great effort, Poliwag mustered the strength to fire four bubbles at Magcargo, hitting it with moderate damage.

"I really will enjoy watching you squirm when you see this" Ariana smirked. "Solarbeam attack." Magcargo gathered energy, preparing to fire.

"Use Wake-up Slap on yourself!" Kalvin yelled. Poliwag used its tail to smack itself in the face, allieviating it from its sleep. However, the effort was a moment too soon. Magcargo finished charging up energy and fired the Solarbeam, which crashed into the newly woken up Poliwag, knocking it out.

"Oh my muffins!" Kalvin shouted.

"TM moves are cheap!" Walker declared, erry and Kalvin nodding their agreement. Their Pokemon lay knocked out on the floor, Team Rocket elated at the victory.

"It's your own fault for using such weak Pokemon" Ariana replied. "And now, we'll be taking your Pokemon. All of them."

"What's to stop us from using our stronger Pokemon to blast you all away?" Jerry asked.

Proton snapped his fingers and Whitney was revealed to be held at gunpointm by two gunmen. "Maybe that will change any thoughts of resistance you may have to those that are of you surrendering. Otherwise, I cannot guarantee that the girl will live."

Whitney gave Walker a pleading look. Walker sighed. "I guess it would be reasonable. But, I'll win either way so I'll flip a coin to decide." Whitney gave him a death glare and he went frigid. "Um...I would, that is, if I had a coin...Besides, I...lo..." He just couldn't lie to Team Rocket. He fell to his knees. "Please! Lock me up and throw away the key! Just don't make me say that to her! She's crazy I tell you, crazy!"

Proton, Petrel and Ariana looked at each other, sweatdropping. This hadn't went as they planned. "Plan B then" Petrel decided, sniggering. A squad of Team Rocket grunts surrounded them, rifles pointed and ready to fire. "If the girl doesn't compel you to surrender, then what about your own lives?" An explosion rocked the warehouse and caused the gunmen to loose their hold for just a moment. Lance used that moment to order Dragonite to use Hyper Beam, which knocked out the enemy rockets trying to kill them, as well as freeing Whitney.

Lance appeared at their side with good news. "The generator was destroyed, just like I planned. I hope you three didn't mind being decoys."

"We nearly died" Kalvin pointed out.

Lance nodded but changed the subject. "We need to escape. The building is set to blow up in five minutes." A person emerged from the already crumbling structure, clapping his hands. He wore an executive's suit.

"Well done, Lance" he said with a hint of a german accent. "My name is Archer, leader of Team Rocket in Giobvanni's absense. By the way, do you four know of a man named Hans?" They shook their heads. "Pity, Hans is my long lost cousin I've been searching for. I was hoping to find him in Johto, but...I suppose he truely is lost to me after all."

"What is the point of your needless monolouge?" Walker demanded, holding an unconcious Whitney.

"My point?" Archer asked himself. "Well, nothing really." He threw out Porygon2. "I love new models, they are so...extravagent. Team Rocket is sort of a new model now. However, like everything new, it eventually grows old and must die." He paused for breath. "And so, I plan to die right here. Taking you all with me!"

"Not if I can help it..." Lance said quickly.

Walker held his hand up. "No, Lance. I may have an idea..." He thumbed through the guidebook of Johto until he found a certain page and showed it to his friends. "You think we can do that?"

Kalvin shrugged. "Maybe."

"I guess" Jerry replied with uncertainty. They threw out their starter Pokemon, all fully evolved now. Quilava was now a Typhlosion and proud of it. Bayleaf had also evolved, into a Megainium of beauty and defensive power.

"What can they do to my Porygon2?" Archer asked. "It doesn't matter. Porygon2, use Discharge on them." The upgraded Porygon model unleashed all the elctricity in its body, zapping the fully evolved Pokemon.

"This is our ultimate bond!" Walker cried. "Frenzy Plant!"

Jerry shook his head. "No, I refuse to say something so...rediculus. Feraligatr, Hydro Cannon! For L.A. Noir!"

"Burn Blast!" Kalvin ordered, somewhat high.

"Um...it's Blast Burn" Walker corrected.

"Okay, use that too!" The three attacks merged into one as they converged and smashed through Porygon2, defeating it in a single burst of energy. Archer gasped in surprise and anguish as he too was sent flying from the attack and disappeared in the emerging rubble. The building was about to collapse!

"We have to get out of here!" Lance shouted. "Dragonite, hurry up and fly us out of here!" The dragon Pokemon obeyed and quickly flew them through the roof and into the road where they were dropped off. They watched as the rocket warehouse was reduced to rubble, silently thinking that it was their last battle with Team Rocket.

"I'd best be going" Lance said to them after a few moments. "Thanks for the help."

"No problem" Walker replied.

"I still want your PSN username" Jerry said.

"We should totally hang out and buy some weeds" Kalvin suggested.

Walker sighed. "You don't exactly say stuff like that to the elite four champion of...um...what was that region again?"

Jerry held up his hand. "Oooh! Teacher, I know!"

"It better be a good answer this time!" Walker replied harshly, dressed in a school teacher's outfit.

"It is! I think he's champion of Kanto."

Walker shook his head."Sorry, no such region exists. You lose the game. If such a region were to exist, I'd know about it. The only regions I know of our Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, Unova and...Orre."

"That's right!" Jerry laughed. "Kanto wouldn't sound like an important region anyway!"


	33. The Pryce is Right

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 33: The Pryce is Right

Kalvin stepped into the Mahogony Town gym, the cold instantly freezing his favorite pen collection. "This is too cold" he said, shivering.

"I'm sure Jenkins could handle it..." Walker replied, shifting through a magazine of beach resorts.

"Then I can take it too!" Kalvin screamed, throwing a pen into the air. The pen soared through the air before falling and hitting an old man on the head. The old man turned around, his glare able to melt the entire room of ice. But, it didn't.

"What was that for!" the man screamed, unmistable fury in his voice. He took the pen off of his head and broke it in two.

"Noooo! Pensworth!" Kalvin shouted, unable to stand for the loss of his favorite pen's grandchild's twice removed's cousin. And a half. Confused? No? Darn!

"I am Pryce" the old man announced with a glare. "If you are a Pokemon trainer, I assume you want a badge." Kalvin nodded. "Too bad, no badge for you." The old man started walking away, barely noticing a paper dagger at his back. "You know, I did see you when you first started following me" he said to Jerry, who shrunk back.

"That's the last time I imitate Ezio" Jerry grumbled, throwing the paper dagger at Walker.

"Why did you do that?" Walker yelled.

"That was for my Wicked Eraser" Jerry answered, crossing his arms.

"That was your fault for listening to me" Walker countered.

"I know, and that's why I'm never listening to you again!"

Walker pointed behind him. "Um, I think you should run. I see a giant mammoth headed your way."

"Yeah right" Jerry laughed. Just for the heck of it, or to prove his point about the unicorn being real, he turned around and barely dodged a Mamoswine rushing at him from the ice.

Pryce grinned at the situation. "Seems like my Mamoswine is a better assassin than you, kiddo! Now, which one of you youngsters will I be defeating today?"

Kalvin stepped up and threw out Typhlosion. "Alright, old man! I'm a nice guy, so I'll let the elderly take the first shot. In fact, if you want, I can give you a free hit."

"Okay." The old man threw his cane at Kalvin. It hit him square in the face.

"I meant I'll let your Pokemon hit mine for free..."

"You mean you were going to charge a sweet, old man like me money for attacking you?" Pryce asked.

"No offense, old dude" Jerry replied lamely. "But you aren't so sweet."

"Mind your P's and Q's, kiddo!" Pryce yelled. "Whippersnappers like you don't remember the days before the Great Depression, when life was simpler..."

"Typhlosion, use Smokescreen!" Kalvin ordered. The giant hedgehog Pokemon emitted a thick gas that engulfed the battlefield. "Good. Now get in close and hit that Mamoswine while the old guy is off his rocker!"

Pryce calmly stared into the gas. "I'm not quite as old as you believe, kid. Here, I'll show you what age does for a battler." As Typhlosion emerged from the smoke in front of Mamoswine, Pryce ordered for a change in weather. "Hail!" Mamoswine stomped its feet and a hailstorm attacked the field. Small shards smacked into Typhlosion, knocking it back and distracting it from attacking.

"This is almost like the time I lost a bet to that one eyed man in the flea market parking lot..." Jerry reminisced.

(Flashback)

Jerry was setting up for his local flea market when a one eyed man approached him, looking for a boat to steal...whoops, that's a song, never mind. Anyways, the one eyed man looked at Jerry and held out a small box in his hand. "Can you guess what's inside?" he asked. "If you do, I'll get you a copy of Skyrim."

"Don't want Skyrim" Jerry replied.

"Oh...what about Red Dead Redemption?"

"Got it already."

The one eyed man looked square at him. "Then how about I just give you fifty dollars. Now, what do you think is in the box?"

"Is it smaller than a breadbox?" Jerry asked.

"No..."

"What about a pony?"

"No..."

"Is it a duck?"

"Aflack!" a white duck cried.

"...no..." The one eyed man quited the duck with duck tape and ran away.

(End flashback)

Walker sweatdropped. "How...exciting?"

Jerry shrugged. "Yeah, I know it was. It had nothing to do with the battle, I just thought it was funny."

"It wasn't..."

"Oh well. Look! Kalvin's battling back!"

"Flame Wheel!" Kalvin ordered. Typhlosion curled into a firey ball and rushed Mamoswine.

"Blizzard!" Pryce yelled. Mamoswine stomped its feet and a blizzard appeared, cooling the heat around Typhlosion and breaking it from its concentration. "Now Earthquake!" Mamoswine stomped and a quake knocked Typhlosion back aways.

"Get up and use our new move!" Kalvin ordered.

"New move?" Walker asked.

"Yeah" Jerry answered. "You know, the one Kalvin was practicing while you were napping in the ice hammock and me and the kids drew pictures on your face."

"Oh yeah...wait. You drew the squiggles?"

"No. Professor Plum did..." Jerry said, shifting his eyes.

"Yeah well...Blue You!"

Jerry's eyes lit up with fire. "Oh yeah? Blue you too! Or rather, Chrome you!"

"That's harsh man" Walker replied.

Kalvin ordered Typhlosion to use Eruption. The fire hedgehog erupted flames from its mouth that smashed into Mamoswine, defeating the mammoth Pokemon and earning the trio their seventh badge.


	34. 2011 Christmas Special

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 34: 2011 Christmas Special

The jingle of jangles were in the air as Walker, Kalvin, Jerry and their friend TJ sat in the Goldenrod airport. "Why'd I ever decide to travel with you guys?" TJ asked, flicking his hair.

"Because somebody forgot to refill the tank when we arrived at the gas station" Jerry scowled. Everybody looked at him. "Okay, never mind."

Walker sighed and stared at the four plane tickets. "You know, I just can't think of how badly this trip has been..."

(Flashback)

The heroic trio were driving from Olivine City to Newbark Town when they encountered their friend TJ. "Sup TJ!" Jerry greeted. TJ responded by tapping him on the left shoulder, then tapping his right shoulder as Jerry looked to his left.

"Hi TJ" Walker said, reading a road map. Kalvin said nothing, amused by a trapped Raticate in a cage.

"Kalvin, what do you have there?" TJ asked.

"Dr. Pennypenneppen the 4th" Kalvin replied as the rat Pokemon attempted to bite him through the cage. "We get along so well. It's like we were meant to be friends."

"Why don't you just capture the raticate and add it to your team?" Walker asked.

"Too lazy to throw a pokeball" Kalvin responded as the Raticate started to growl.

"You were too lazy to catch it, yet you spent eight hours planting traps in the woods in a lame attempt to capture Suicune" Walker stated, remembering.

(Flashback)

...what? I don't need to explain everything in flashback.

(End Flashback)

"Hop on in, TJ!" Jerry invited. "My sherman tank has room for another soldier."

Before TJ could respond, Walker held his hand up. "Don't even start. He's been like this for two weeks now. And don't ask where he got the tank...or the auto firing missles."

"Missles?" TJ asked. Jerry hit a red button in the tank. "Yeah...they don't seem to work though." As he spoke, a missles shot out of the tank and slammed into a boat that Eusine was on.

"I knew I should have booked with Expedia!" Eusine cried.

Jerry turned a key and started driving his tank toward Ecruteak City. All of a sudden, a hang glider appeared in the sky with a W logo on it. "Great, it's her" Jerry sighed.

"Who?" TJ asked, putting on sauve.

"Walker's stalker" Jerry replied. "Hey, dude! That rhymes!"

Walker groaned. "Jerry, how about trying the missle button? The one that doesn't work."

"Oh, you mean this button?" Jerry asked. He pressed a red button and a disco ball appeared on the roof. "Huh. This must have been one of the custom installments I bought using that premium credit card I found lying in the Poke center."

Walker searched through his wallet. "Funny, I'm missing a premium credit card. Did the one you used have a gold star and a picture of a Cyndaquil drinking kool-aid?"

Jerry shifted his eyes. "...no..."

"That is strange then."

"Strange..." He hit another red button and a parachute sprung out of the back. "That's not it." He pressed yet another red button and the tank folded into a paper airplane for ten seconds before transforming back. "Why did they label all of these buttons red?" Jerry asked.

"Just take off the everything looks red glasses you bought from Ebay" Kalvin said, poking the Raticate with a stick. "Who's a good boy?" It growled at him. "Yes you are!"

"Kalvin, for the last time, that is a girl!" Walker yelled.

"Oh..." Kalvin took a moment to stare at it and then threw the Raticate out of the tank and onto an unsuspecting Jenkins.

Jerry removed the red glasses and hit the missle button, which fired right at Whitney's hang glider. The explosion rocked through the sky and a loud thump was heard on top of the tank. "Um...I don't think the missle button is broken" TJ said.

"Gee, who would have thought that the Fear Mobile, yes I'm calling it the Fear Mobile, had such power?" They all got out of the tank to admire the shot...I mean, check on Whitney and make sure she wasn't blown to bits...just unconcious.

Whitney got up and looked around. "Walker! I thought we'd spend Christmas together!" She hugged his neck.

"How...nice..." Walker choked.

Whitney got off of the tank and smacked TJ. "Owww!" he cried. "What was that for?"

"That was for...I have no idea. I just felt like slapping you." She raised her hand and slapped him again.

"Whitney...darling..." Walker said painfully. "I have a...Christmas present for you."

"Really?" she gasped. "Is it a wedding ring? A new car? Maybe you bought us a yacht!"

"Actually..." In seconds, he had placed a high powered jet pack on her back. "Do not worry, I saw this done in a movie."

"What...?"

"It's just not working out" Walker admitted. "It's not you it's...well, it kinda is you. Anyways, bon voyage and please forget to write!" He pressed a red button on a remote and the tank's security alarm went off. "Jerry's right, all buttons look red."

"Take off the red glasses" TJ said lamely.

"Oh...Kalvin said these made me look cool."

"He also said that the Raticate he caged would diegest beans well" Jerry remarked.

"True." He hit another red button and Whitney went flying off like a rocket in tiny circles. "Good old acme and their wonderful prdocuts. I should buy more from them." In true acme fashion, the rocket soon ran out of fuel and Whitney started to fall down. "Darn it, acme!"

Jerry and TJ bought a bed with high powered springs and laid it down for Whitney to hit. And hit she did, sailing all the way back to Cianwood City. "Good work guys! Now let's jet!" They turned around to get back into the tank, but Kalvin had already sold it for a bag of crab grass.

"Hey guys!" he greeted, ignoring their angry faces. They bought a rental car and as they ran out of gas at Goldenrod City, Walker, TJ and Kalvin went to hunt down Suicune while Jerry got gas in the car. However, he saw Jasmine and talked up a storm with her, forgetting all about the gas in the car and Jasmine bought the last drops of gasoline. And thus...

(End Flasback)

"Huh. Seems I can think of how it went so badly" Walker said aloud. He turned around to see their flight taking off with Jerry, Kalvin and TJ waving at him through the windows. "Hey! Get back here! I bought those tickets! You can't leave without me!" Whitney entered the airport, dressed in a fur coat and snow boots.

"Walker! We need to talk!" She carried a baseball bat and a metal pipe in her hands.

Walker gulped. "Whitney! My...my...love! Um..." He ran off with Whitney in hot pursuit.

**Merry Christmas readers and a Happy New Year!**


	35. The one with Flashbacks

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 35: The one with Flashbacks

Jerry entered Ice Path, a freezing cave that would bring him to Blackthorn City. Since nobody was around, he decided to pass the time. "Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care! Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care! Jimmy cvracked corn...!"

"Could you shut up?" Ryo asked, appearing behind him. "You're scaring away all of the Pokemon."

Jerry put on a scowl. "Oh yeah? Well...your face is scaring...the ice!"

"Great comeback" Ryo replied, applauding sarcastically. "What is the matter? Been hanging out with a van full of mimes?" Ryo started laughing at his joke, despite the fact that he was closer to the truth than Jerry wanted anyone to know.

(Flashback)

"Man. With Kalvin and Walker out hunting Suicune, I need to find a way back to Mahogony Town. I'd call Jasmine, but I'm out of hair gel number 5. I better remember to get some." As he continued walking down the road, an ice cream truck pulled over and a clown with his head on fire asked if he wanted a ride. Jerry politely declined, explaining he didn't feel like exploding today.

"Suit yourself" the fire headed clown replied. "By the way, would you happen to be in the mood for some...napalm?" Jerry blinked at him. "I mean, Ice Cream! All 19 year old boys love ice cream, right?"

"No..." Jerry said, watching the fire headed clown's face fall.

"Well, your loss, kid." The clown tried to drive away, but he ran out of gas. "Dang! And I'm late for the tournament too!" Suddenly, a van filled with mimes, including Jenkins, pulled up and mime spoke if they wanted a ride. Jerry and the psychotic clown agreed and they played cards for the remainder of the trip.

(End Flashback)

Ryo stopped laughing. "Hey! How come you get a flashback? By the way, where are the other losers at?"

"Well..." Jerry started to explain as a flashback began to form.

"You know what? Never mind." Ryo tossed a pokeball in the air and released a Crobat. "Now out of my way, Jerny..."

"It's Jerry." He tossed a pokeball into the air and released a shiny Slowking. "Cool, huh?"

"When did your Slowpoke evolve?" Ryo asked with a sneer.

"Well..." Jerry started to explain as a flashback tried to form again.

"Enough flashbacks. Crobat, attack his loser Slowking with Bite!" Crobat tried to bite Slowking, but the king had other plans. And so did his Slowking.

"Slowking, use Psychic!" Jerry ordered. Slowking read Crobat's mind and then flung the bat into an ice wall.

"Seriously, how did that thing evolve?" Ryo asked as Crobat started to fly up again.

"Well, I would tell you in a flashback but you see, I took this arrow to the knee..." Jerry joked, overusing the most overused joke at any lunch table. "Oh yeah. And Slowking, use Psychic again." Once again, Slowking demonstarted great special attack and this time, Crobat was slung into a cardboard cutout of Richard Simmons. "Eh. Nobody likes him anyways."

"You know" Ryo said. "For once, we agree. I wonder how it got there..." The cardboard cutout tried to have a flashback, but Ryo ordered Crobat to bite it into woodchips. "Never mind."

Grass on route before Ice Path:

Menawhile, Walker and Kalvin were on the hunt for Suicune once again. "You know" Walker said. "It really wasn't nessasary to build a high tech tracking device to find a Pokemon."

"Why not?" Kalvin asked, holding a dragon radar.

"Um...never mind." They heard a rustling in the bushes. "Get the net ready, Kalvin! Here comes your Suicune!"

Kalvin nodded. "Gotcha!" he cried, flinging the net into the bushes.

"Hey, I got a hobby too, you know?" a fire headed clown said, burning the net. "What gives, anyway? First my car is out of gas, then I get picked up by hitchiking mimes and now I get netted like some filthy animal? I am out of here!" He started burning the forest down.

"Okay" Kalvin whispered to Walker. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that was Suicune."

"Here, let me try" Walker offered, throwing the net into the bushes. "Ha! I caught something!" What he had caught, however, was not a Pokemon.

"Oooh! How romantic..." Whitney swooned, caught inside the net. With a disgusted look on his face, Walker tossed the net back into the woods.

"What's your deal with her anyway?" Kalvin asked him.

"Nothing really. She might be a great girl to date...if she wasn't obsessive and oh yeah, did I mention psychotic! And she's...!" Kalvin stopped listening, choosing to ignore Walker's rant on psychotic girls, already used to hearing it everytime they encountered the nutcase girl. Instead, Kalvin chose to think about the upcoming Halo 4, imagining himself blasting a sqaud of Halo soldiers. "...and...you stopped listening, haven't you?"

"Huh?" Kalvin asked, startled. Suddenly, Suicune appeared and Kalvin chose to throw a Fast Ball at it, capturing the legendary Pokemon without fail.

Back at Ice Cave...

"So, I see your Slowking is already finished" Ryo spat.

"That's what she said" Jerry shot back, laughing.

"What?" Ryo asked, raising an eyebrow. "That doesn't even make sense."

"Or does it?" Jerry asked, pointing a finger at him. "...yeah, it doesn't really make sense. But this does! Slowking, eat your spinach!" Sl;owking shook his head. "Slowking, are you going to eat your spinach or do I have to force it down your throat?" Slowking gulped and ate his spinach, growing major musles and greatly increasing its attack strength.

"Don't let it hit you, Crobat!" Ryo shouted. "Stay in the air!"

"I won't let this new physical strength go to waste" Jerry said. "Slowking, use Psychic!" The attack knocked out Crobat due to it being weak to psychic type moves.

"Wait...I thought you said you weren't going to let its physical strength be wasted?" Ryo asked. "How come you used a special move?"

Jerry started to explain in flashback. "Wait, that hasn't happend yet." Calmly, he pointed to a pebble in his way. "Use Strength to move that pebble out of my way." Slowking picked it up and tossed it behind it's back, the pebble flying at Ryo and hitting him in the side of the head.


	36. The End of the Rich Road

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 36: The End of the Rich Road

The trio of trainers had trekked all the way to the town of Blackthorn City, explained by the amount of times I've crammed words beginning with the letter T in one sentance. With all three of the legendary dogs in their possession, they were confident they would win the final gym badge needed for the Pokemon League. "So, who's going to battle?" Jerry asked.

"Not me" Kalvin replied casually, sipping a glass of champane. "I plan to relax and enjoy my day on the beach."

"Blackthorn City doesn't have a beach" Walker replied.

"Oh...then I'm going to play Halo 3 in the hotel we're staying at" Kalvin corrected.

"But, we don't have any money" Walker explained.

Kalvin frowned. "Then get some! Wait, don't you have your emergency wallet with five hundred dollars on it?"

Walker nodded. "Yeah, it's...wait. How did you know about my emergency wallet?"

"Lucky guess?" Kalvin lied, hoping he would buy it.

Walker shrugged. "Doesn't matter. It appears to be missing..." They both looked at Jerry, who was one his cellphone, talking to Jasmine.

"Uh huh. Yeah, we made it. Sure! I'm sure the gym will be fine, just hurry on over and I'll give you a piece of the Jerry Bravo." He was wearing his blonde elvis wig again and was in the process of adding an excessive amount of hair gel to it. "Okay, see you soon!" As he hung up, he noticed his friends staring at him. "What?"

"You stole my emergency wallet?" Walker cried.

"Um...if I said no, would you buy it?"

"No."

"Then yeah. I bought this five hundred dollar phone card so I could talk to Jasmine while we are in Blackthorn City. Why? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing...except that we're broke!"

"I could help you out!" Whitney cried, riding in a cannon.

Walker sweatdropped. "Um...and how are you going to be able to help us? And I won't even ask about the cannon."

"I have a bank account of over fifteen hundred million dollars from lotto tickets" Whitney announced. "And yeah, glad you didn't ask about the cannon."

"Yes!" Kalvin roared in triumph. "Now I can play Halo!"

"And I can buy more phone cards!" Jerry smiled, still in his bravo costume.

Walker raised an eyebrow. "You want something, don't you?"

Whitney nodded. "A date. And you have to do whatever I say and go wherever I want to go."

"But...!" Walker exclaimed, gulping. "I...I...I...have to go help my friends with...stuff..." He looked behind him to get their confirmation, but they had already left, with a letter lying where they had been standing. He picked it up to read aloud. "Dear Walker, shut up and have fun on your date with Whitney. P.S., we stole your camera so we can take pictures of hot babes. Signed, your close friends."

Whitney tugged on his arm. "Come on, my future husband! I want to go to the Dragon's Den."

"Dragon's Den?" Walker asked, once again riasing an eyebrow. Except it was the other eyebrow this time.

Whitney nodded, put her head on his shoulder. "It's said to be an awesome cavern where dragon trainers train their dragon Pokemon."

"Dragon Pokemon?" Walker asked, considering the possibility of getting some last minute training in. "Okay, sounds like fun."

Two minutes later...

"This is not fun!" he shouted, staring at all of the trainer couples cuddling.

"Didn't I mention that this place is a romantic cavern with a legend that whoever cuddles within are eternal soulmates? And also that if they kiss, they will be eternally wed, forever?"

Walker gulped. "No...you seemed to have...left out that little detail..."

Whitney frowned. "No, no I'm sure I told you two minutes ago. Whatever! You have to do what I say on this date and that means we cuddle."

"I'll do no such thing!" Walker pouted, crossing his arms.

Meanwhile, with Kalvin and Jerry...

"Hey pretty momma!" Jerry exclaimed, dashing over quickly to a cute blonde chick in a bikini. "How would you like to come over to my place and we'll talk about my biceps?" The girl held up a finger, searched in her purse and slammed a hammer into his skull. "She loves me..." Jerry said weakly.

"Having fun?" Kalvin asked, relaxing in a beach chair.

"Some. All of the babes around here adore me."

"Oh, you're being Jerry Bravo. Talk to me again when you're normal. I knew there had to be a beach in Blackthorn. Walker's map is wrong."

Dragon's Den:

"My map must be wrong" Walker surmised as Whitney tried to drag him to the love tunnel of lovey love. "It says Dragon's Den is a place where dragon type Pokemon dwell, yet I haven't seen even a Magikarp!"

Whitney frowned. "Walker, do you want me to cut your friends off from my incredible, edible wealth?"

Walker blinked. "Is this a trick question or..."

"Just eneter the love tunnel of lovey love boat!" she screamed.

"Or what?" Walker asked, arms crossed.

"I'll make you watch a tape of Richard Simmons new dance routine."

Walker gulped loudly. "So, the tunnel thing, right?"

At the beach:

"Whoa!" Jerry yelled in an elvis-like manner as he slammed into a palm tree. "She loves me..."

"So much so that she decided not to use the missle launcher and opted to hit you with a two by four" Kalvin acknowledged. "Are you back to normal yet?"

Jerry nodded, returning to his normal persona. "Yeah. So, did you buy the ten thousand boxes of RageCandyBars?"

A group of giant boxes hit the beach from the sky, scaring all of the other people into running in terror. "Yep. Me and Pennymcpenswroth's cousin, Pendaddy, are soaking up the sun. You know, this is an almost perfect day." Suddenly, a squad of police showed up. "You two! You are under arrest!"

"Uh oh" Kalvin gulped. "Jerry, quick! Is the Batmobile repaired?"

Jerry frowned. "Unfortunently, no. However, I did rent a Durst Copter, the latest helicopter from Durst Inc. I know the president, so..."

"I know him too" Kalvin replied. "Cool. Now, I'll hold off the cops and you go get Walker."

"Why?" Jerry asked.

"Because he is our trusted friend and we owe him that much" Kalvin replied.

"Cut the bull Kalvin" Jerry said, jokingly. "I'm your friend, you don't have to lie to me."

"Okay, fine! I stashed a bag of weed..." He took note of the multiple cops surrounding them. "Weeeedssss...yeah, weeds, in his backpack."

Jerry ran to the Dragon's Den, plucked Walker out of the boat right before the ride and threw him into the Durst Copter. "Thanks man" Walker thanked.

"Save it. That girl was a fraud. All of her so called riches were chocolate coins and they may know about Kalvin's unusual drug habit."

"How nice" Walker spat sarcastically.

"By the way, Kalvin said you weren't really his friend" Jerry lied.

"Figures. Where is he, anyway?"

Kalvin was on the beach, a pair of nunchucks in his hands. His Tangela also had nunchucks and they were not afraid to use them. "Want to mess with Kalvin Foo?" Kalvin asked, weilding the weapons. He waited a moment, then bailed at the last second, jumping into the Durst Copter right before it took off. "Good. We lost them."

"And our chance to enter the Pokemon League" Walker announced. "The yearly League battle it tomorrow."

Jerry frowned. "Well, that kinda sucks. Of course, it doesn't matter because I still have my cellphone and a ton of phone numbers."

"You mean, Jerry Bravo worked?" Kalvin asked.

"Well, I got the number to the dog pound, the clinic, the police, the pharmecy,the fire station, the dump and some girl named 123456789. Hmmm. She must be foreign."


	37. Chapter 1 (uncut)

**wondering why this is back? welcome to an old expirence with new conetent. This is the uncut edition, containing slight changes in typos to be less typoy and extra, deleted scenes only able to be read in the uncut edition. that's right, its not just a touch up. consider this the un-4kids edition, if you will. all joking aside, please enjoy.**

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 1: Enter Route 29! Catching wild Pokemon and competition! (uncut)

Three new trainers smiled as they left Professor Elm's lab in Newbark Town and set their sights on Route 29. Each had their own goals in mind for their journey and each was determined to set those goals, no matter how hard the challenge or difficult the situation. The first was Walker Caul who chose the grass type pokemon, Chikorita. His eyes were blue and his attire was a white shirt with black shorts and running shoes. Slightly Calmer than Kalvin, he was paticularly bright in the knowledge of Pokemon and locations, as well as Pokemon attacks. He was also the most sarcastic of the trio. Walker tended to complain alot and had a wild temper when annoyed.

The second trainer was Jerry Boss, who chose the watery Totodile. He was dressed in a blue shirt and blue pants, as well as a pair of running shoes. His personality was cheerful and joking. He didn't seem to be serious much and cracked frequent jokes. The third trainer was named Kalvin Sporeman, who had chosen the firey Cyndaquil as his starter. Dressed in a red shirt, black pants and a pair of running shoes, Kalvin had a short fuse and tended to get viloent when provoked. He had a joking side and was constantly competing with his friends.

"Man, my Totodile is so cool!" Jerry shouted at the sky. "I should name him Jack."

"You'd really insult your pokemon like that?" Kalvin said with a smirk.

"What would you name your pokemon, Kalvin?" Jerry challenged.

"Whatever I chose would be better than Jack."

"Let's here it then."

"Calm down you two" Walker sighed. He looked at his guidebook. "It looks like we're on Route 29."

"Why don't we see who can capture a pokemon first?" Kalvin challenged, looking around.

"Alright" Jerry said, throwing his pokeball and releasing Totodile.

"This is going to go well" Walker sighed. The group entered the deeper area of the forest, where they began to search for pokemon.

Kalvin had already set his sights on a Sentret. "Go, Cyndaquil!" The firey pokemon let out a cry. "Use Smokescreen to hide from view and attack it!" Kalvin ordered. Cyndaquil let loose a powerful smog that engulfed the poor Sentret. Unable to see, it was blindsided by an Ember attack to its left. It went down like a ton of bricks. "Now Headbutt!" Cyndaquil raced up a tree and jumped down headfirst, slamming its noggin into the downed pokemon. "Pokeball, go!" he cried, tossing a pokeball. The metallic ball hit Sentret and the pokemon went inside with a brilliant flash of light. The ball shook once, twice, three times and Sentret was caught. "I win!" Kalvin laughed, holding his pokeball up high for them to see. It shined in the sun, blinding a crow.

"My eyes!" it cried, smashing into a mime.

Jerry had also caught a pokemon, but before Kalvin had. Totodile had caught sight of a Hoothoot, which is rare to see during the day and thought to be impossible. Unable to let this oppertunity pass him by, Jerry had ordered Totodile to use Water Gun on it, but it flew around the attack and pecked at Totodile's skull. "Use Scary Face!" Jerry had commanded. Totodile's scary face had instilled fear into Hoothoot, making it scared and unable to fight back against a strong blast of water to its face. Jerry had then threw his pokeball at it, catching it without fail.

"How did you catch that!" Kalvin asked in surprise.

"Well, Kalvin" Jerry said. "I guess I'm just a better trainer than you are."

"Well, Jerry. I guess I'm going to stick you in the arm with a pen!"

"No you won't" Jerry said.

"Wanna bet?" Kalvin challenged, a red glint in his eye. Then, both trainers noticed something. "Where's Walker?" Kalvin asked.

"I don't know. What do I look like, his babysitter?"

Walker had been searching for a pokemon and found himself lost in the woods. "These woods should come with a map" Walker complained. "I have no clue how far through this route I am." He sighed and was about to turn around when an Aipom bounced on his head. "Hey! What's the big idea!" The Aipom tilted its head and then took off. "Oh no you don't! Chikorita, let's go!" Sending out Chikorita, Walker ordered a Razor Leaf attack. The grass pokemon sented out a strong flurry of leaves at the monkey, but it dodged each and every one of them. Walker began to think of a strategic way to attack. _'If I were to catch it off guard...'_ Getting an idea, he ordered another Razor Leaf attack. Again, the purple monkey dodged, racing towards a wide trunked tree.

"Leech Seed!" Walker ordered. Chikorita launched three seeds at Aipom, who was forced to stop and attempt to turn away from the tree. The seeds got it and began draining its energy. "Aiiiiiii!" it cried.

"There you are!" Jerry shouted, racing up to him, quickly followed by Kalvin. "I won the catching contest!"

"Only by a second" Kalvin muttered. He noticed Aipom. "Hm? I see you found a Pokemon also."

"What?" Walker looked at Aipom. "I wasn't actually trying to catch it. I was just getting revenge for it landing on my head..."

"Why not catch it and have a new Pokemon?" Jerry suggested. "If you don't, I'll catch it."

Walker thought the situation out. He hadn't been trying to catch Aipom, but the more he looked at the Pokemon, the more he grew to like it. Plus, it had incredible speed. Perhaps it would be an asset in future battles. "Okay, here goes" Jerry said, taking a pokeball from his belt. However, Walker stopped him with his arm.

"Back off. This is my Pokemon." He tossed a pokeball at Aipom and captured it, adding the purple monkey to his collection.

_'Knew you'd catch it' _Jerry thought, smiling to himself. Kalvin snuck up behind Jerry and popped a balloon behind his back. "What the bacon, Kalvin!"

Kalvin chuckled to himself. "Hey, didn't you think it was funny?"

Walker sent out his Aipom and aimed the pokedex at it. "Aipom, is a normal type...it is a female?" he pointed it at Chikorita. "Also a female. Huh. Hey guys! You can check the genders of your pokemon using your Pokedexs!"

"Pokemon have genders?" Kalvin asked.

"Yeah Kalvin" Jerry laughed. "I can't believe you didn't know that."

"I did know that! I was just making a joke! That no one seemed to get." He aimed his pokedex at his Pokemon. "Cyndaquil and Sentret are males."

"Both of my Pokemon are males too" Jerry smiled. Aipom jumped on Kalvin's shoulder and slapped him with her tail. "Oooh! That's what I call bit..."

"I was not b - slapped!" Kalvin shouted.

"Aipom!" Walker yelled. "You don't need to slap people!"

And so the adventure in Johto had begun...but how had it begun?

**flashback...the first one**

"Why are we becoming pokemon trainers again?" Jerry asked. He was wearing...they've already been described.

"To realise our dreams" Walker replied.

"You mean your dream" Kalvin scowled, holding onto his favorite pen, stabbymcstabbystab the first. "You dragged us along because you couldn't afford a bus fare."

Walker sweatdropped. "well...it's costly moving across the country. I got money...i just have to use credit cards and buses don't take credit."

"Well, why am I going?" Jerry asked. "you know Kalvin payed the cost. so, why should i go with you?"

"We're friends..." Walker replied.

"And...?" Jerry asked. "That doesn't mean I wanted to go the Johto region."

"We could encounter cougars..."

"And I think going to the Johto region was a cool idea" Jerry said, grinning like a boy who got his first wii. They entered the laboratory and were surprised to see professor elm screaming at his poor pokemon.

"Totodile! Don't chew that bacon!" he shouted. "And chikorita, not on the floor!" chikorita frowned and stopped eating an apple. "Cyndaquil, no fires!" Cyndaquil growled. "I really hope you aren't taken by a drug user..." He saw the three new trainers. "...take them, please! I can't stand the horror of watching them another moment!"

Walker blinked. "Um..."

"We'll take them" Jerry answered for them, picking up totodile. "Isn't it cute? Hi Jack!" The water starter pokemon bit his finger playfully. "And you can have as much bacon as you want."

Kalvin picked up Cyndaquil. "I'm not a drug user" he whispered, winking.

Walker took chikorita. "And we're taking the apple too. Later professor!" They exited and...well, you read the top.

**flashaback end**

**For those wondering why Aipom was on Route 29, it is a headbutt pokemon. For those wondering why Hoothoot was found during the day...I have no explanation. Kalvin needed another Pokemon and there wasn't many choices for Route 29. What can I say? Read and enjoy!**


	38. Chapter 2 (uncut)

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 2 Uncut

The three trainers made it to Cherrygrove City. "This place looks old" Kalvin said, staring at a building about to collapse.

"Show some respect for the town" Walker said, picking up a half buried Pokeball from the ground. "As a Pokemon Historian, I plan to study the history of towns and the Pokemon of the past." As he said this, he knew it wasn't true, lying for the sake of sounding important to the plot.

"I just thought you were a wimp" Kalvin spat.

"Say that again!" Walker shouted, his face red with anger.

"Stop fighting" Jerry sighed. "You two need to cool off. Totodile, use your Water Gun on them!" Totodile sprayed water in his friends' faces. Jerry took one look at their surprised reactions and fell to the ground laughing. "Hahahahahahaha!"

Walker helped his friend up and smacked him in the back of the head. "Jerk..."

Kalvin took out his trademark pen. "You want to be stabbed?" he asked.

"Kalvin, put the pen away" Jerry sighed. "We don't need a repeat of when you threatened the cops with a pen and got us arrested for making them laugh too hard."

Kalvin frowned. "I don't see you having a running gag."

"Give it a few chapters" Jerry said. He pointed to a vehicle.

"What is that?" Walker asked.

"That happens to be Herbie" Jerry answered. "I stoloe him from a parking lot."

A trainer approached them. "Hey! I'm a youngster and I want to battle one of you newbies. Me and my Pokemon I just caught will knock you for a loop."

"You want to take on the pipsqueak?" Walker asked Kalvin.

Kalvin shrugged. "Sure. Let's see what my new catch can do. Go, Sentret!" Sentret popped out of its Pokeball, ears aleart.

"That's all?" the youngster asked. "See my Pokemon! Go, Ratatta!" The purple rat looked menacing...if you stacked it against a bug...

Kalvin pointed at the doomed rat. "Attack it with your Tackle!" Sentret raced for Ratatta, determined to hit it at full force.

"Ratatta, use your Tackle!" the youngster countered. Both Pokemon collided, but Sentret had a bit more power and Ratatta was sent flying into the crumbling building.

"No!" Walker screamed. "The historic value! You ruined it! Jerry! Did you see that? Jerry?" He looked over at his friend.

"We made a sand castle" Jerry smiled, clapping his hands.

"Toto!" his pokemon cheered.

"What are you doing!" Walker shouted.

"Okay Sentret!" Kalvin ordered. "Use Double Edge!" Sentret slammed full body into Ratatta, kncoking the rat Pokemon out the instant it hit.

"My ultimate Pokemon!" the youngster cried. "I just caught it too! What did I do wrong?"

"Never mess with a Super Saiyan" Kalvin explained, throwing his fist into the air. Sentret copied its trainer.

"Wrong anime series..." Walker sighed.

"Kalvin is more like Sailor Moon" Jerry joked.

"I'm going to stab you!" Kalvin shouted, chasing Jerry around.

"We are so going to be hit with a copyright lawsuit" Walker sighed. Feeling a tapping at his shoulder, he looked to see an old man tapping at his shoulder. Then his elbow. Then his back..."Would you cut that out!" Walker yelled.

The old man grinned. "Soprry about that. I was trying to get your attention. Y'see, I have some maps I thought you might want..."

"Nothing more to do here" Walker said, cutting him off. "Guess we should head for the next town."

"But, my...my tow...town maps..." the old man stuttered.

"Yep" Jerry agreed. "Nobody else here but us."

"This is getting boring" Kalvin yawned. "There better be some battles coming up soon."

The old man got in front of their way. "Don't you want my maps?" he asked. "They're first quality."

"Beat it, creepy old guy" Walker threatend.

"You shouldn't have denied me!" the old man raged. "Now we must battle."

"But, we never locked eyes..." Walker pointed out, trying to escape.

"There's no running from a Pokemon battle!" the old man cried. "Go get them, Ratatta!" The old man's Rattata appeared and it roared with cute ferocity.

Before Walker could respond, Kalvin tossed Sentret into the battle. "I'll take the creepy old man on" he volunteered.

"Who said I was creepy?" the old man asked.

"It's so obvious you are a predator" Jerry explained.

"WHAT!" the old guy exclaimed. "It's that obvious? I mean, no, you are mistaken! I'm just a nice old man, selling my maps."

"Sentret, use Kamehameha!"

"Pokemon can't use DBZ moves!" Walker shouted. Sentret, dressed in an orange gi, charged up a strange type of energy and fired it at the opponent. Ratatta was unable to dodge and was knocked out instantly. "No way!" Walker cried. "That's impossible!"

"Good work, Sentret. Back to the ball you go." Kalvin congratulated his Pokemon, returning it to its Pokeball.

The old man was impressed. "I have some even higher quality maps in my cottage" he offered. "How about if I show you where my cottage is and then..." Kalvin punched the old man in the nose. "We don't want your stupid maps."

"That's right" Walker agreed. "We enjoy being lost."

"Where am I?" Jerry asked, looking around.

"...Cherrygrove City..."

"Oh yeah..." Jerry said, remembering. "So, where to next?"

"Hell if I know" Kalvin said. Suddenly, their Pokenavs rang. It was Professor Elm.

"Hello, trainers. Remember me? It seems that I have a small quest for you. I have a friend called Mr. Pokemon who lives near where you three are. He's got a discovery he wanted to show me, but I can't go."

"Why not?" Walker asked.

"Because you need the expirence as trainers" Elm answered.

"Bull" Jerry deduced.

"Okay, I'm just too lazy" Em admitted. "However, I need yout three to go and check out that discovery for me. If you do, I'll buy you all three wiis."

"That sounds like a plan" Walker confirmed. "Okay guys, let's go find Mr. Pokemon's house!"

"I'll drive!" Jerry volunteered, accidently putting Herbie in reverse. The car rolled backwards and destroyed a house, being crushed by bricks. "Whoops."


	39. Chapter 3 (uncut)

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 3: Third degree burns are harsh (uncut)

**By the way, Pokenav from the last chapter was supposed to be Pokegear. Sorry about that.**

"Let's see" Jerry said. "I think Mr. Pokemon's house is in that direction." He pointed to a small patch of bushes.

"Jerry" Walker sighed. "That's just a patch of bushes. You can't be right..." As they walked through the bushes, they saw an odd looking house that had a sign on the door reading "Home of Mr. Pokemon. If you are my wife, I'm not home." "That's not possible" Walker gulped.

"It will also rain soon" Jerry said. At his words, the skies opened up and a light rain poured down.

"You can't be psychic!" Walker gasped.

"Well, I did train with the best" Jerry remarked.

(Flashback)

"How much longer must I sit patiently?" Jerry asked.

A strange man wearing excessive make up stamped his feet. "Look, I don't know! I just sell fries to hungry customers! Why are you always stopping by here anyways?"

"Mr. Ronald MC. Donald, please report to drive-through window #1" the loudspeaker blared.

"Yes sir!" Ronald cried, turning around. Then, he looked back at Jerry. "How's my hair?"

(End flashback)

"What does that have to do with you being psychic?" Walker asked.

"Huh? Oh, nothing." Walker facefell.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Kalvin cried as he fell into a hole. He was only two feet from the door, too.

"Darn it Kalvin!" Walker shouted. "You can't go 5 minutes without getting into some kind of trouble."

"I think I broke my spleen!" Kalvin yelled in pain.

"I suppose you want us to help you now" Walker surmised. "Well, we will. Right Jerry?"

Jerry stared at the clouds. "Only if I can ride on a magical cloud."

Walker sweatdropped. "Yeah...you do that. Chikorita, go! Use Vine Whip to pull Kalvin out of the hole! Oh and try to snatch his wallet too!" Chikortia lifted Kalvin out of the hole. Also, Kalvin's wallet was empty. More emepty than the time he went to the strip club.

(Flashback)

"Hey, you want some of these strips of bacon?" the man asked, holding up a plate.

"That's what I came to the bacon strip club for" kalvin announced, holding up his membership card. So, how much is it?"

"Three dollars."

"I have a yoyo and some magazine clippings."

(End Flashback)

"Thanks alot...jerks." Kalvin pounded on the door. "Hey, old man! Open the door!" An old looking man opened the door.

"What do you want? Quit your shouting."

"I want the egg you talked to Elm about on the phone" Kalvin said, holding out his hands.

"What egg?" the old man asked, scratching his head.

"Now! You senile old fool!" Kalvin yelled. "Or else I'll have to beat it out of you in a Pokemon battle!"

"Just try" the old man challenged, reaching for a Pokeball.

"Fine! Go, Sentret!" Sentret emerged from the Pokeball, ready for war.

"He's at it again" Walker sweatdropped.

"Looks like he's mad this time" Jerry pointed out. "There's no stopping Kalvin when's he angry."

Another old man appeared behind them. "My my, how lively. Who's that kid battling Oak?"

"Oh" Jerry answered. "His name is Kalvin...wait, Professor Oak!"

"This is too funny to watch" Walker laughed as he pulled out pop corn.

"Wait, this is Professor Oak?" Kalvin asked, looking scared.

"That's right" Oak answered, throwing a Pokeball. "Charizard, go!" The firey dragon Pokemon roared with fury. "Use Blast Burn!"

"This is bad..." Kalvin said as his Sentret was knocked out immedietly.

"This is a no camp fire zone" Jerry joked, holding an anti burning sign. "Keep out, Kalvin. We don't like your kind."

"Smokey isn't on duty" Kalvin said in a bear uniform. "So I'm afraid the three of you are going to prison." He handcuffed them all to a tree. "Wait, why did I handcufff us?" he asked.

The other old guy laughed heartily. "Elm told me he had sent three newbie trainers to see me about my discovery. I assume it is you three?"

"You're Mr. Pokemon?" Kalvin asked, watching Mr. Pokemon break the handcuffs.

"Yes I am. Here. This is my discovery." he handed Walker a Pokemon egg.

"Please take that Pokemon egg back to Professor Elm" Mr. Pokemon requested. "I know it is out of your way, but Oak here has a gift for you in return." Reluctantly, Oak handed them Pokedexes, though he charged Kalvin ten bucks for his.

"I'll call Elm" Walker said, dialing his number.

"Ooh! Put him on speaker" Jerry said.

"Fine." It began to ring. "Hello? Hey Elm. It's me, Walker. We got the discovery."

"You got it?" Elm asked. "What is it?"

"It's an egg" Walker answered. "Maybe a Pokemon egg."

"I doubt it" Elm said. "Mr. Pokemon's last invention was cheese that never aged. It wasn't very impressive."

"You said you loved my cheese!" Mr. Pokemon cried, tears filling his eyes.

"Wait! I...I did! Take this off speaker, Walker and let me talk to Mr. Pokemon!"

"Look, what you do on your time is your buissness" Kalvin answered. "We're delivering the egg to you and then we're gone."

"It isn't like that!" Elm screamed. "We're just good friends! Who eat cheese at parties. Oh! I forgot to tell you guys something important. I...!" Walker hung up the phone.

"Okay, time for us to go see Elm, hand him the egg and finally get back to our journey."

"Right" Jerry said. "I predict cloudy weather with a chance of meatsauce."

"Good for us" Kalvin spat.

The three began their journey back to Elm's lab. But, will the journey back be as pleasent as the journey from? And just why does Elm love cheese? If you care about the answer to that question, then you must love cheese. Stay tuned for chapter 4.


	40. Chapter 4 (uncut)

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 4: Elm's Captured and Now we're stuck with an Egg! (uncut)

The group had journeyed back to Cherrygrove, however...

"You will buy my maps!" the creepy old map guy yelled. Behind him stood the mob, each with a Murkrow sitting on their shoulders.

"Great. This will waste two of our seconds back" Kalvin spat. "Go, Cyndaquil! Use Flamethrower on Creepy Map Guy!" The firey hedgehog spat a stream of flames at the creep.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" he cried, trying to put the flames out by rolling in the sand.

"It's super effective!" Jerry joked, laughing all the way.

"What fun it is to ride and sing a...hold on. This isn't Christmas!" Walker shouted, hitting a mobster with a rolled up newspaper.

"You little punk...Murkrow, use Nightshade!" The bird Pokemon began concentrating its energy.

"Aipom, stop it with your Tickle attack!" Walker yelled. Aipom jumped and began tickling Murkrow, making it lose focus. Another Murkrow hit it with its wing.

"Sucker Punch" Walker growled through gritted teeth.

One mobster looked at Jerry. "Hmph. You appear to be the weakest link in the chain."

"Or am I the strongest?" Jerry asked.

"Word games don't affect me because I never finished high school!" the mobster yelled. "Murkrow, attack with Pursuit!"

"Totodile!" Jerry shouted, releasing his Pokemon. "Hold it off with Water Gun!" A cold blast of water knocked the dark mobster-like Pokemon back into its owner.

"This has been fun" Kalvin said. "But we need to get going. Cyndaquil, use Smokescreen!" The fire Pokemon emitted a smoggy substance from its mouth and when it cleared, the trio were gone.

"Where did they go?" the creepy old map guy asked.

"They vanished!" a mobster exclaimed. "Like...magic!"

"Magic...!" the others echoed.

"Not magic! It was a smokescreen!" the creepy map guy shouted.

The mob followed the smoke and found Kalvin, pipe in hand. "Yo!"

"You jerk!" they cried. "Murkrow, Wing Attack!" The Murkrows attacked with their wings aimed, but Kalvin dodged and used Cyndaquil to burn them into roast chickens. Actually, he just made some fried chickens for them to eat.

"Nice work, Kalvin" Jerry congratulated. "You earned your chef's license."

"I tried" Kalvin said. "I'd like to thank my teachers, for teaching me how to jello."

"I present you with this trophy" Jerry said, handing him a pen.

"Pensy Pensworth man, super hero of pensworld, I will put you in my pocket." He looked for a pocket. "I don't have pockets. No pockets!"

"Really, though. Good fight."

"Yeah" Walker agreed. "A moment later, though and we may have had to fight seriously. Hahaha!"

"Look, there's Elm's lab." Jerry pointed to a burning building in Newbark Town.

"That can't be!" Walker cried.

"What happend to the demented, chesse loving professor?" Kalvin asked.

"He's in our hideout." They looked through the flames to see a man dressed in a black outfit. His shirt bore an insignia of an R in a blood red coloring. His blue, spiky hair was obscured partially by a black hat.

"Who are you?" Walker demanded.

"You may call me Proton, a member of a secret organization that you need not know about." He threw out a pokeball, releasing a Koffing.

"Why not?' Kalvin asked, preparing his fist for action.

"Because you three won't live to see my face again. Or the face of Professor Failure. Koffing, use Smog!" A poisonous gas emitted from Koffing's body and began slowly working its way to them.

"Cover your mouths and noses!" Jerry warned. He sent out Totodile out. "Use Water Gun" he said in a muffled voice. The water cleared some of the smog from the air, but the tainted poison still lingered.

"Pathetic attempt to save your comrades" Proton smiled.

"Cyndaquil! Use Smokescreen to push back the toxins!" Kalvin yelled. The fire Pokemon attempted to let out its own gases, however, Proton had a plan to stop that.

"Zubat!" he yelled, sending out the bat Pokemon. Use Super Sonic on Cyndaquil!" Zubat let out ultrasonic waves that sent Cyndaquil into a confused state. Turning, it fired its Smokescreen at Kalvin, Walker and Jerry.

"Another job well done by Kalvin!" Walker coughed.

"Shut it!" Kalvin coughed back. "I'm a chef!"

Jerry sent out Hoothoot. "Attack from the sky with Peck!" he commanded as the smoke started to let up. Hoothoot tried to hit Zubat, but Koffing slammed into it, sending it hurtling to the ground.

"Well, this could be going better" Walker said.

"How about trying to help?" Kalvin suggested.

Walker sent out Chikorita. "Use Razor Leaf!" Chikorita atatcked with a sharp leaf that was deflected by Koffing spinning in a circle. "No way! It did nothing!"

"That's what she said" Jerry joked.

Walker hit him the head with a rolled up newspaper. "Not funny, Jerry! Not funny at all!"

"I thought it was funny" Kalvin said, putting his two cents in.

"Shut up!"

Proton shook his head. "You three are pathetic. It's time I stop playing around and finish you off." He pointed at them. "Koffing, use Self Destruct."

"I'm guessing this is bad..." Walker said, gulping. "Jerry, it was nice knowing you. Kalvin...not so much."

"I'm going to stab you in the afterlife" Kalvin retaliated. Koffing gathered light and exploded, sweeping away the trio into Route 29.

Jerry got up first. "Everyone okay?" he asked.

Kalvin nodded. "Yeah. No broken bones."

Walker also got up. "Hey. That guy Proton is gone!"

Jerry looked at where the enemy had been just seconds before. "Maybe he blew himself up" he suggested.

"No" Kalvin said, getting up off the ground. "There's no shred of clothing or blood anywhere. He's still alive. My guess is, he wasn't trying to really kill us."

"Then why use such a strong move?" Walker asked.

"I don't know" Jerry answered. "How's the Pokemon egg?"

"I almost forgot about that!" Walker exclaimed. He quickly checked it. "It's okay. Speaking of the egg, I guess it's ours until we find Professor Elm."

"And that's no yoke!" Jerry joked, using an egg pun.

"Oh geez!" Walker cried, slapping his forehead.


	41. Chapter 5 (uncut)

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 5: Do you know where we are going? (uncut)

Route 31...ah, such a peaceful route. The Pidgey were chriping, the Caterpie were frolicking in the grass and everything was serene and quiet. Yes, nothing could disturb such peace...

"Give me back my cookie!" Kalvin demanded, chasing Walker.

"Finders keepers" Walker sang. "Besides, you owed me a cookie."

"Liar."

Walker shurgged. "You have to use your talents." He saw Jerry looking through the grass. "Hey. Did you find something?"

Jerry held out a silvery coin. "I found a dime!" he cheered. The three teens stomachs growled. They hadn't eaten much since they started their journey over 5 hours ago and they were starving. Kalvin's cookie stash was pretty much their only hope for survival.

"With this dime" Walker said, starting a speech. "With this single, life saving dime, one of use will be able to eat today, while the other two will...starve. Have fun guys."

"I'm not starving" Jerry frowned. "Hand me back the dime. I found it. Finders keepers..."

"And losers weepers" Walker growled lowly. "I'm starving!"

"So am I!" Kalvin shouted. "Besides, you already ate one of my cookies! Now I only have one left." He quickly ate it, leaving Jerry foodless.

"We'll fight for the dime" Walker suggested. "Whoever wins in rock, paper, scissors will win the dime."

"I still say that dime belongs to me" Jerry sulked.

"Bring it!" Kalvin cried. "I can win any game, anytime!"

"Good. Rock, paper...!" A voice cut them off.

"Uh...you're really making that big of a deal out of one dime?" The boy had on a strawhat and kakki shorts. "I could just lend you my salmon. I made more than enough. But, I'm not in the sharing mood today."

Kalvin walked up to the boy. "Let me put you in the sharing mood. Either gives us the salmon or prepare to look like that Magikarp over there." He pointed to a lake where a Magikarp happily splashed to its heart's content. Kalvin sweatdropped. "I meant that Magikarp over there." He pointed to a Magikarp that a young girl fished out of the lake.

"I'm going to bring you with me to a Justyn Beiber concert" she happily laughed.

"The horror!" the bug catcher cried. "I'm sorry. Please, just take my salmon and leave."

"I knew you'd see things my way" Kalvin laughed, grabbing a bagful of salmon. Walker and Jerry also picked one out, after they finished their rock, paper, scissors game, of course.

"There's the gate to Violet City" Walker said, looking at a map.

"Since when have you had a map?" Jerry asked.

"I made it when you and Kalvin stopped for a game of I'm Better than You."

"My head still hurts" Jerry winced. "So, how's your map look?" Walker revealed a very crudely drawn map. The only things labeled were You Are Here with an arrow, a thin line that Jerry guessed was either a road or a new Oblongs character and a fish that described in little detail where they had encountered the bug catcher. "Dude, your map is horrible" Jerry laughed.

Walker crossed his arms. "Thanks. Jerk."

Kalvin hit a wall as they walked through the gate. "What are you doing!" Walker asked.

"This is Violent City, right?" he asked.

"Violet City" Walker corrected.

Kalvin's face drooped. "And I thought I'd get to break something here."

"Give me a break, give me a break..." Jerry sang, opening up a Kit Kat.

"Don't worry, Kalvin" Walker reassured. "There's bound to be lots of fun activities in this city."

The trainers were taken aback by the huge city they saw sprawled out before them. And by huge city, I mean slightly bigger than a toy box, but without most of the novelty. There was a Pokemon Center, a Pokemart, a Trainer school, a Gym and tower among the random houses. "I'm leaving" Kalvin said, spitting on the ground.

"Give it a chance" Walker suggested. "I have an excellent sense of direction. I'll bring us to the Gym and we'll take off from there."

"Alright..." Kalvin agreed.

"This sounds like a bad idea..." Jerry frowned.

Twenty minutes later...

"How do you get lost in a two dimensional city!" Kalvin asked.

Walker frowned and looked at his "map". "I don't have this area marked, so...I can't say for sure, but I think we're lost. Nice work, Jerry."

"Oh no!" Jerry protested. "You aren't blaming me for this one. Besisdes, how could this be my fault? You said you had a great sense of direction, remember?"

"Yes" Walker agreed. "And it is your fault because you didn't stop me from leading us into a lost area where we could get eaten by rabid Pokemon or die or go insane or worse!"

"You mean there's worse things then death?" Kalvin asked.

"The Xbox 360" Jerry said, getting a death glare from Kalvin. "Just joking! Playstation is better though."

"I disagree" Walker interuppted. "Nintendo is the best."

"Xbox kicks all their...wait. What is that?" He pointed to a swaying tower.

"That's a tower" Walker observed.

"Looks like a swaying tower" Jerry said. "Swaying in the breeze..."

"This isn't a musical" Walker pointed out. "I'm calling this area Mr. Sway Tower jr."

"Jr?" Kalvin asked. "Where's Sr?"

"It's in...why does everything have to be complicated with you?" Walker asked. "It's just jr."

"It's getting dark. Why don't we check it out?" Kalvin suggested.

"It's better than randomly running around with someone who couldn't find his way from his home to a grocery store leading you" Jerry admitted. The two began to walk inside.

"Hey!" Walker shouted, offended. "Only once! Let me tell you, those trees are tricky!" he too followed them inside. What lay inside, however, was more scary than the Pet Shop of Horrors. Three monks dressed in robes that had a Bellsprout insignia on them were bowing.

"Welcome to Sprout Tower" they said in unison.


	42. Chapter 6 (uncut)

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 6: A storm of sages (uncut)

"Uh...thanks?" Walker asked. He sweatdropped. "Guys, let's just leave this nut house." Jerry already has his head shaved and was standing next to them.

"Hello my peaceful friends" he said in a low voice, imitating the sages.

"You moron!" Walker shouted. "Take that bald cap off!"

"Fine..." Jerry frowned, throwing it into a pile of disguises he had randomly found. These included a Chewbaca suit, a Han Solo uniform, three bears and a sailor suit from Sailor Moon.

"To reach the top of the stairs" one sage said.

"You must defeat us in battle" the second finished.

"And then you can face the master sage" the third added.

"Are these guys for real?" Kalvin asked. "I'll take all three of them on. At once, even."

"Don't get over confident" Walker warned. "These aren't average trainers. They probably have strong Pokemon at their disposal. Like Tyranitar."

The first sage stepped forward. "Okay, who wishes to go first?"

Jerry stepped into the ring, so to speak. "I'll have a go at it. Go, Hoothoot!" The flying Pokemon burst from its Pokeball, ready to be heroic.

"Uh, could you please use something else?" the sage asked.

Jerry blinked. "Okay...Totodile, I choose you."

The sage's eyes turned red. "Excellent. You have fallen for my tactic. Bellsprout, defeat this intruder!" A Bellsprout appeared, also having menacing eyes. "Heh heh. You three will never make it to the top. The spirit of Bellsprout will break your bones and anniliate your intrudering intentions!"

"So battling demonic sages for our lives is better than being lost in the dark, huh?" Walker asked.

Kalvin nodded. "Of course. At least this way I can fight something."

"Mango Juice..." Walker sighed. "Fighting isn't the only answer."

"True, but it's the best answer."

Jerry formulated a plan. "Use Water Gun on Bellsprout." The crocodile fired a stream of water at the sprout, but it didn't do any damage. In fact, Bellsprout looked stronger than ever!

"Useless tactic, you pitiful excuse for a trainer! Bellsprout, use Vine Whip!" A vine slammed hard into Totodile's body, causing it to stagger a bit.

"Totodile!" Jerry cried. "Hang in there! Go in for close range with Bite!" Totodile regained his footing and charged for the sprout, but it sidestepped and caught Totodile with it's vine again, knocking the water starter to the floor.

"Finish this with a final Vine Whip!" the sage laughed gleefully.

Jerry got an idea. "Totodile, you're on fire!" The Pokemon panicked and rolled clear of the attack, using the duck, roll and cover strategy. "Good. Now hit it full blast with Water Gun!" The attack hit Bellsprout again and again it had no effect.

"No matter how many times you try" the sage laughed. "Water attacks will never hurt Bellsprout! You'd have better luck trying to cancel High School Musical!"

"I hate High School Musical!" Jerry yelled. Totodile rapid fired Water Guns at Bellsprout. "Keep it wet!" Jerry cried. Outside, a storm was brewing. A stray lightning bolt struck the tower and ran down to the ground floor, hitting Bellsprout as if it were a lightning rod. It went down instantly, not able to take such a powerful attack.

"Your powers of weather prediction came in handy" Walker said.

Kalvin stepped up next. "Come on" he challenged the other two sages. "Both of you, attack at once."

They looked at each other and smiled. "Fine. Lose however way you wish."

"I shall. Cyndaquil, take these idiots out!" Cyndaquil took out a menu. "Not like that!"

"Not fire!" they cried. "Use something else!"

"No. Fire Spin!" The attack scorched the sages and they crumbled to the floor.

"This is better than going to see an Imax movie" Walker remarked, eating a bag of popcorn. A fourth sage walked down stairs and saw his defeated comrades.

"You three...you have interloped where you shouldn't have. Prepare to be destroyed!" he took a Pokeball off of his belt. "Bellsprout! Defeat these meanies!"

"Meanies?" Walker asked, shaking his head. "I'll deal with you. Your dialouge is worse than a Ben Affleck movie. Aipom, let's rock this battle!" Aipom appeared and stared down the sprout. "Use Agility to get in close!" Aipom began darting towards Bellsprout.

"Razor Leaf!" the master sage ordered.

"Dodge Aipom and hit it with Swift!" The monkey dodged quickly and waved her tail, sending a stream of stars at its opponent. The stars collided with Bellsprout, hitting it hard.

"Good. Now use Fury Swipes!" Walker ordered. Bellsprout was down after the first two swipes and the master sage recalled it.

"That was skilled, I'll admit. However, I still have this Pokemon..."

"Please don't be another Bellsprout" Walker prayed.

"...Go, Hoothoot!"

"A Hoothoot!" the friends exclaimed in surprise.

"Use Peck!" the master sage ordered.

"Aipom...get out of there!" Aipom bounced away on its tail to buy it some time. "Use your tail to springboard into the air and hit it with a Fury Swipes!" Aipom jumped into the air and swung wildly at Hoothoot. The bird mearly dodged to the left and Aipom struck cold air before hitting the ground with a rough landing.

"To finish this, I'd like to open up my ceramonial umbrella" the master sage smiled, opening up a tropical umbrella. A lightning bolt struck the umbrella and shocked the master sage into unconciousness.

Walker sighed and returned Aipom. "What a workout! At least it's almost morning. Then we can go to the gym. I honestly know where it is."

"I'd rather be run over by a mad truck" Kalvin answered, walking away.

"Same here" Jerry agreed, following Kalvin's lead.

"Seriously, I know where it is! It will only take a second..."

"No!"

Ten Minutes later...

"Disney Land?" Jerry asked.

"This isn't that bad" Kalvin admitted. "I need to find Mickey. He owes me a bagel."


	43. Chapter 7 (uncut)

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 7: The first epic gym battle (uncut)

The group of three stood in front of the gym. "We finally made it..." Jerry said, exasperated.

"Why are you out of breath?" Walker asked.

"I'm not" Jerry answered. "It's just that I feel exasperated..."

Walker sweatdropped. "Very strange. Okay, let's enter and engage our destinies..."

Kalvin punched the door open. "Let's go before you get all One Life to Live on me" he spat, walking inside.

"Hey!" Walker shouted. "One Life to Live happens to be a great soap! Or, it was. Now it's lonely. No One Life to Live."

"Well, you've got your good ole friends to help you get through it" Jerry suggested.

"...No."

Falkner waited inside, looking at them eagerly. "Welcome to my gym" he said. "I hope you are ready to put your training to the test. Make sure you don't answer number 4. It's a trick question."

"I hate tests!" Walker cried..

"Training?" Jerry asked, stunned. "I knew we forgot to add that to our vacation schedule."

Falkner sighed. "So, who will I be battling against? Please say it isn't the dimwit..."

"That doesn't narrow it down at all" a bird keeper sitting on his gym floor said. Walker and Kalvin punched him through the wall.

"You know, I can't stand people who are so rude!" Walker shouted.

"I'm going to stab everyone in this building with my pen that I will name soon!" Kalvin roared.

"How about naming it Sally?" Jerry suggested, laughing to himself.

"No" Walker said. "Please don't bring up your Sally character from that story you wrote..."

"What?" Jerry asked. "I wasn't referencing that."

Kalvin sent out Cyndaquil. "Let's see what you got, Gym Leader."

Falkner nodded. "Very well. Pidgeotto, take to the skies!" He sent out his bird Pokemon.

"We want our baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back..." Walker and Jerry sang, trying to add some battle music.

"Why aren't you saying ribs?" Kalvin asked.

"We never say ribs" Jerry answered, earning a sigh from Kalvin.

"Enough with the Scrubs references! Cyndaquil, use Fire Spin to trap Pidgeotto!" The firey hedgehog tried to trap Pidgeotto in a swirling twister of fire, but it evaded and used it's speed to attack Cyndaquil quickly.

"That was Quick Attack" Falkner explained.

"No joke" Kalvin muttered. "Cyndaquil, use Ember!"

"Dodge it quick!" Falkner ordered. Pidgeotto dodged. "Good, now use Wing Attack!" As the flying bird tried to attack Cyndaquil, Kalvin got an idea. "Use Fire Spin!"

"How does Cyndaquil know Fire Spin, anyway?" Walker asked.

Jerry shrugged. "It could be a special egg move given to this paticular Cyndaquil for know reason."

"Sounds logical" Walker said.

Falkner had anticipated Kalvin's attack and had prepared his own counter for it. "Counter it with Twister!" The two cyclones collided mid-air and the resulting explosion was fierce, knocking both Pokemon down.

Jerry was playing the board game Twister with his Totodile. "Right foot, blue..."

"The attack, not the board game!" Walker shouted.

"Oh...the board game is so much fun, though."

Walker smacked his forehead. "Maple Syrup!"

Back to the battle, both Pokemon were on the verge of collapsing. Cyndaquil looked battered and was covered in smoke, whereas Pidgeotto was covered in smoke and beaten. "Looks like the next hit will decide it..." Kalvin said.

Falkner shook his head. "I don't think so. Pidgeotto, use Roost!"

"Roost?" Kalvin asked, unsure of the move. Pidgeotto started to heal its injuries and the smoke and bruises healed on the spot.

"Roost heals some of my Pokemon's health" Falkner explained. "This is a gym battle. It isn't like you can just hammer away and defeat me without a strategy. Pidgeotto, use Quick Attack!" The now healed bird flew at Cyndaquil, but ran into a barrier. "What?"

"I do have a strategy" Kalvin corrected. He pointed at Falkner. "And that is to defeat you! Even if I have to use defensive moves like Defense Curl."

"Interesting...Pidgeotto, use Twister!" Pidgeotto began stirring up powerful winds again.

"Not this time. Cyndaquil, use Flame Wheel!" Cyndaquil's body became a burning wheel that flew towards the half formed tornado. Pidgeotto was taken by surprise and the flaming headgehog knocked it back into a wall.

"So, have you seen season 5 of scrubs?" Jerry asked, sipping a light herbal tea.

"I saw the last disk from it" Walker answered, also sipping herbal tea.

"How is it that someone without a strategy can put up such an amazing fight?" Falkner wondered aloud as he looked at Pidgeotto. "Get up, Pidgeotto. Use Wing Attack!" Pidgeotto struggled to get up and flew at Cyndaquil.

Kalvin clenched his fist. "Just what I was waiting for. Cyndaquil, use Quick Attack!" Cyndaquil slammed into Pidgeotto with overwhelming force. Cyndaquil then charged up with a firey aura and started to use Flame Wheel again. "What? I didn't order you to use that!"

"You need to control your Pokemon better" Falkner chatised. The burning wheel charged towards the downed Pidgeotto. "Fly and Roost!" he ordered quickly. Pidgeotto tried to fly up, however Cyndaquil's ignorance to listen to its trainer's orders proved useful as it rolled up the side of the building and caught up with Pidgeotto. Before the dumbfounded bird could turn and excape, Cyndaquil crashed into it fullbody. The attack left both injured, however Pidgeotto proved down for the count, while Cyndaquil was pretty banged up.

"Yes!" Kalvin cheered. "Who's the best trainer in the world? I'm the best trainer in the world!"

"And the best trainer in the world has to buy his friends pizza" Walker snickered as he accepted Flakner's badge.

"Hey! That's my badge!" Kalvin cried. "Give it back you son of a...!"

"Watch your language, Kalvin!" Jerry shouted. "Dude, this is a kids story, remember?"

Kalvin frowned. "Whatever. I'm still able to stab you with a pen."

"I'd like to see you try" Walker smirked. His smirk soon turned to worry. "Oh crap!"

Kalvin was now holding two pens. "Yeah, you better run Walker!" he shouted. "And by the way, I'm not paying for tonight's meal!"


	44. Chapter 8 (uncut)

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 8: Shocking sheep and defective balls (uncut)

"I told you we wouldn't get lost" Walker said, earning a glare from his friends.

"Dude, you took that wrong turn at the Poke Center and brought us to a random Wal Mart!" Jerod exclaimed. "Though I have to admit, Totodile's afro looks nice."

"Take that idiotic afro off of Totodile" Kalvin said.

"Sorry. I'm sick of waiting for Sgt. Frog season 3."

Walker stopped to smell a flower and Kalvin figured it was the perfect time to get revenge. He quickly pulled out a water balloon and tossed it at Walker.

"That wasn't funny" Walker said.

Jerry threw one at Walker. "No, but that was. Hahahahaha!"

Walker frowned. "Dominatrix."

"Ooh, I'll get you for that!" Jerry vowed. "Wait. Kalvin, what does Dominatrix mean?"

"Hold on, let me look it up" Kalvin replied, taking out his cell phone. "Let's see...ah, here it is." he stifled a laugh as best he could. Jerry's face grew red.

"Ooh, I'll get you for that!" Jerry vowed, again. "It will involve circus and some high end furniture and...maybe a few strands of hair from the hair saloon."

"Hair saloon?" Kalvin asked.

"A wild west hair salon I used to go to back when we went to the wild west" Jerry answered.

"Oh, right. That was a fun time. Hopefully, the readers get to read about it."

"But, anyways, I'll get my revenge!"

Walker smiled. "Sure you will." An electric shock ran through his body. "Ouch!" He doubled over to reveal a Mareep charging electricity.

"Ooooh!" Jerry cried. "It's so cute, I want it! Come here little fellow."

"I don't think it likes you" Kalvin said as Jerry moved closer. "Uh, Jerry...don't get so close."

"Why?" Jerry asked.

"Because...this!" Kalvin threw a pen at Jerry. Jerry dodged and the Mareep, feeling threatend, shocked Jerry with an extra powerful Thundershock.

"Dude...what the hell!" Jerry asked, getting up.

"Let me show you how you catch a Pokemon" Kalvin said. "Why? Because I'm awesome! I'm awesome! I'm awesome!" He threw a pokeball at the Mareep and it bounced off without even the slightest chance of working. "No. No. No. Oh, hell no!" Kalvin quoted. He tried another one and it failed. "Damn. What is wrong with these balls?"

"Maybe you should trade them in for a new set" Walker joked.

"Better yet" Jerry continued. "You should sell them for 100 dollars." Both shocked trainers cracked up at their jokes.

Kalvin took out a calculator. "Don't make me use my scientific calculator" he threatend.

"Your scientific calculator that you stole" Walker reminded him.

"Uh guys..." Jerry said.

"Not now" Kalvin replied. "I didn't steal it because...I found it."

"Guys..."

"Jerry, mind your own buissness. Look, all I'm saying is it belongs to someone else, okay?"

"Too bad. I found it, it's mine."

"Guys!" Jerry shouted. "Mareep left."

Walker frowned. "What? Why didn't you say something before!"

"I tried to..." Jerry tried to say.

"Yeah, Jerry. Don't come up with excuses" Kalvin retorted.

"Oh, I see how it is, Kalvin!" Jerry cried, raising a fist. "I'm just joking, dude. I wouldn't hit you. Or cats." He sent a death glare to Walker.

"Sorry!" Walker apologized. "I can't help my imagination! You got to admit, if you think about it long enough, it is slightly funny..."

"Dude, I still can't believe you thought..." Jerry stopped in mid sentance and started shaking his head, which was starting to become very trademark about him.

"Enough randomness" Walker said. "I have a Mareep to catch." He parted the grass and found Mareep staring at him, growling. "How cute. Look, you're going to be my Pokemon, whether you like it or not." Mareep thundershocked him. "Are we going to do this the hard way or the easy way? Get in the ball." Mareep thunderashocked him again. "Get in the ball" he repeated. Mareep shocked him a third time. "Okay, that's it. Chikorita, I choose you!"

"You're using grass type to take on an electric type?" Jerry asked. "That's like using a single shooter pistol on a group of Residant Evil zombies."

Kalvin leaned against a tree. "I'm tired. Tell me when you catch it."

Walker nodded. "Chikorita, use Razor Leaf!" The attack sliced the ground where Mareep had once been. "Impressive speed. Chase it." Chikorita tried, but was caught in a cottony substance. "Darn! Cotton Spore lowers my speed!" he cursed.

"Look out!" Jerry shouted. "It's about to use Thunder Wave!" Mareep sent an elctric impulse in Chikorita's direction.

"Darn! No way to dodge!" Walker said through grit teeth. Just as all hope seemed lost, Chikorita put up a barrier around itself, protecting it from the status affliction. "What? Is that...Safeguard?" He smiled. "Good work, Chikorita. Now, use Razor Leaf." This time, the leaf sailed through the air and hit its target. Walker threw a pokeball at it and caught it without incident. "Yes! I caught a Mareep!" he cheered. He released it from its ball. "You and are going to best friends." he said with a smile. Mareep blinked and thundershocked him.

"Yeah...you two are great friends already" Jerry joked. He looked at an approaching truck and got an idea. "Heh heh. I just found a way to screw with Kalvin."

Two hours later...

Kalvin awoke with a bumpy start, staring at the back of a truck. "Where am I?" he asked, looking around. "Why am I in a truck? What the hell, guys!"


	45. Chapter 9 (uncut)

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 9: Who's laughing now? (uncut)

Walker and Jerry stared each other down as they released their Pokemon, Mareep and Totodile respectivly. "Thanks for agreeing to this battle" Walker said.

"I guess" Jerry sighed. "I don't see why you're using Mareep anyway..."

"Because it won't listen to me" Walker replied. "Now, Mareep! Thundershock!" Mareep just stared at Totodile.

"Oh, I see how it is!" Jerry joked. "We can use the stare down attack too! Totodile, stare it down." Totodile did so, edging closer to the stubborn sheep. In retaliation, Mareep used Thundershock on both Totodile and Jerry.

Walker sweatdropped. "Well...it kinda listened..."

"Having trouble, trainers?" a voice asked. The three looked to their left to see an old man sitting on a rock, eating a sandwich. "What? Do I have something in my teeth?"

"Who are you?" Kalvin asked.

"Me? I'm just a lonely wanderer. By the way, this sandwich is good. But, I've had better..."

"What do you mean?" Jerry asked.

The man grinned. "Why, Slowpoke Tail of course! You never heard of it? I'm not surprised! It's only the hottest food item on the market! Or, it will be, once it is manufactured, anyway. However, lucky you! I happen to have three presale Slowpoke Tails with me right here for only 1,000,000 dollars! What do you say? Oh and please no checks. I only accept cash."

Jerry's body started trembling. "You eat Pokemon? Are you insane?"

The man stopped to think. "No...well, I could be. Yes, I think I might be. So, will you pay?"

"No."

The man started to laugh. "I suppose I can't force you to try one. Still, it is a fine tail and it would be a shame not to get one while you can. This is a sale price, you know. I didn't tell you that? My apologies." His old beard started to fall off.

"Who are you?" Jerry asked.

"He's an old man..." Walker said lamely.

"Just a wander..."

"No lies" Jerry said coldly. "Who are you? You aren't an old guy, that's for sure."

The man laughed as he ripped off his disguise, revealing a black and white costume with an R printed on the shirt underneath. "My, my, my! How observant you are! My disguise was perfect, at least I thought so. How did you guess I was Petrel of Team Rocket?"

"Team Rocket?" Kalvin asked. "Is that group of door to door salesmen? Because I don't like those kind of people." He punched a wall that was placed there so he could punch it. "Steel knuckles!"

"Please!" Petrel laughed. "We aren't that evil! We just steal Pokemon, sell them illegally and pretty much control the black market. Nothing bad or anything. Like I said, I am Petrel, master of disguise for Team Rocket. I am pleased to meet such observant trainers."

"Why are you telling us all this?" Walker asked.

"Because it isn't like you can do anything to stop us from our latest plot of taking Slowpoke Tails" he said, grinning. "Teenagers like you couldn't even land a finger on us. We're untouchable." A blast of cold water sprayed him in the face.

"How's that for untouchable?" Jerry asked, his Totodile laughing in triumph. "Jack, take five." Jack grabbed five dollars from Petrel's pocket and placed it in his mouth. "Give it back, Jack." Jack swallowed it. "Noooo! I didn't want to eat!"

"Yes...that was unexpected, I do admit. You know, I'm the nicest guy of Team Rocket. You would be wise not to try to anger me. I won't be so funny then."

"Let's see you be more funny than me" Jerry challenged.

"Very well." Both stood their ground. Then, they laughed and had to start again.

Jerry started. "Okay, this Pokemon walks into a bar and says..."

"Boring!" Petrel scoffed. "Verbal humor is so yesterday! What people want is an actor of physical comedy." He took out a pie and threw it at Totodile. "Now that is funny! Hahahahahahaha!"

Jerry's eyes twitched. "You dare insult...my Totodile! I challenge you to a battle! My Totodile versus...your...?"

"My Raticate" Petrel finished, throwing his rat Pokemon into the fray.

"Alright, Totodile, use Scary Face!" Totodile tried to scare Raticate, but it failed. It looked cute, really.

"Hmph. Pathetic" Petrel smiled, clicking his fingers. "Raticate, use Focus Energy."

"Focus Energy?" Jerry wondered.

"Hurry and attack it!" Walker cried. "Focus Energy is an attack that increases the user's attack!"

"What?"

"Too late!" Petrel announced. "Hyper Fang!" Raticate rushed towards Totodile, eager to attack it.

"Darn...Water Gun!" Totodile hit Raticate with a point blank range water gun, sending Raticate hurtling to the ground.

Petrel was amazed. "Such speed...But, it cannot match Raticate. Use Quick Attack!" Raticate slammed into Totodile, effectivelty weakening it. "Good. Now go in for Hyper Fang!"

Totodile dodged and dug its own fangs into Raticate. The rat cried out in pain as its body started to become enveloped in ice. "No way!" Jerry shouted. "What move is that?"

Walker took out his attack guide book. "Looks like Ice Fang. It has a small chance of freezing the enemy."

Petrel returned his Pokemon. "Okay, you win that fight. But, there will be another. Team Rocket will not lose face because of just one lost." Using a smokebomb, Petrel escaped.

"Team Rocket" Kalvin said. "They need to be taught a lesson. By my pen. The pen is mightier than the sword!"

Walker sighed. "Kalvin, that was only funny on the Gieco commercial..."


	46. Chapter 10 (uncut)

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 10: The Slowpoke Scandel (uncut)

After traversing a meaningless cave, the three reached Azalea Town. "It's so..." Jerry tried to say.

"It looks like a ghost town" Walker finished for him.

"No" Jerry corrected. "Like a fountain of youth."

Walker scratched his head. "Um...what?"

Jerry pointed to a rustic fountain. "See?"

"Uh...sure..."

Jerry put a coin in it. "I wish for an old man to appear."

"Jerry" Kalvin said with a smirk on his face. "Those machines don't work. I mean, do you see an old man here?" He was bopped on the head by a cane. "What the cherries?"

An old man stood behind him. "Hmph. To be politically correct, the proper way to address a person of my age is an aged man.

"How about I call you a dead man?" Kalvin threatend, balling up his fist.

"Do you have to resort to violence with everyone?" Walker asked, sweatdropping. "We apologize, sir. Could you tell us...?"

"Is this fountain a fountain of youth?" Jerry asked, knocking Walker and Kalvin out of the way.

"I was going to ask why this is a ghost town..." Walker sighed.

"You jerk!" Kalvin roared. He got up and armed himself with a pipe.

"No pen?" Walker asked.

"It broke."

"Oh..."

The old man frowned. "No, it isn't a fountain of youth. My name is Kurt, by the way. I'm tracking down some thugs who I suspect have been stealing our town's Slowpoke."

"Why would you have a town that houses such a lazy Pokemon?" Kalvin asked.

Kurt bopped him over the head again. "I may be old, but I can still go toe to toe with you, youngster! We happen to like Slowpoke because they kept our town from running dry. They caused a rainshower that ended a long drought!" he calmed down and lowered his cane. "But...some gangsters have been lopping off their tails."

"Who are they?" Walker asked.

"Team Rocket." The three froze, knowing that Proton and Petrel must be behind the Slowpoke thefts.

"Where are they?" Kalvin asked. "We'll stab them out of town."

"Don't you mean, we'll drive them out of town?" Walker asked.

"No. I mean stab. I want to stab them until they..."

"Okay!" Jerry said quickly, cutting him off.

"You three know Team Rocket?" Kurt asked, astonished.

"Yeah" Jerry answered. "Their members are not funny."

"Or nice" Walker interjected. "One of them tried to kill us. We're hunting for Professor Elm, who they kidnapped. He told us to pick up and egg and give it back to him and since he wasn't there, the egg is dumped on us."

Kurt nodded. "I don't care about your story, but if you'll help me out, I'll give you some special balls." The three looked skeptical. "Pokeballs, I mean. You youngsters have to make everything sound perverted!"

Kalvin decided to have fun with Kurt. "Hey, old man! I see a quarter in that well." He pointed to the well.

"Really?" Kurt asked, running to the well. He tripped and fell in, apparently hitting someone along the way. "Ouch! You liar! All that I see under me is a crushed member of Team Rocket!"

"Nice work, Kalvin" Walker said acidly. "You almost killed him." They ran into the well, making sure not to trip like Kurt did, Kalvin armed with a rocket launcher. He saw a member of Team Rocket, took aim and fired, barely missing.

"Who are these punks?" a member of Team Rocket asked. "I'd better go get the admins!" He ran through the well to get them.

"What is this well named, anyway?" Jerry asked, helping Kurt up.

"Slowpoke Well. Thanks laddie."

"I should have guessed. Your welcome, old chap." Kurt smacked him upside the head with his cane.

"Enough old jokes! They're coming!"

"That's what she said!" Jerry joked.

"I said shut up!" Kurt yelled. Two members of the infamous Team Rocket arrived, looking at the three trainers and old Kurt.

"My, my. I see you survived our first encounter." Proton tipped his hat. "I suppose I should have tried just a bit harder. This time I won't go easy on you! Grimer, take 'im out!"

"You're up, Chikorita!" Walker shouted.

Petrel was thinking to himself out loud. "Now, who should I crush? Eeniee, meniee..."

Jerry sent out Totodile. "Totodile wants a rematch, not funny rocket."

"I want to play too!" Kalvin shouted, releasing Cyndaquil.

"Ah, splendid!" Petrel gasped, clapping his hands. "Two at once! I'll use Zubat! He's more than you could handle, anyway. Use Supersonic!" Zubat created an ultrasound wave that hurt the ears of the three trainers and also affected one other battler.

"You idiot!" Proton shouted. "Noise is multiplied here in a cave so knock it off!"

"My bad" Petrel apologized. "You should ave put your hearing aid away when we started."

"Don't take your eyes off of your opponent!" Walker shouted. "Chikorita, use Razor Leaf!" A leaf slammed into Grimer. The other leaf hit Kalvin's rocket launcher, causing it to fire at Petrel. Petrel jumped and landed, grinning.

"You missed me, sucka!" he laughed, making Kalvin fire again. Petrel dodged again and the Slowpoke began moving slowly away as Kalvin's rockets began blowing up parts of the well.

"Hmph. Cheap shot, kid. Grimer, use Poison Gas" Proton said.

"Don't give it the chance! Razor Leaf!" Chikorita's leaf hit Grimer before it could unload its poisonous gas.

"Grah! Fine then, I'll retreat. For now." He took off with Walker in hot pursuit. "Petrel, we're leaving!"

"So soon?" he asked before noticing Walker hot on his heels. "I see now. As you wish. We'll abandon this project for now."

"Not so fast!" Kalvin cried. "Quick Attack!" Cyndaquil charged full speed at Zubat. The bat did a crafty aerial dodge and avoided the attack.

"Water Gun!" Jerry ordered. Totodile unleashed a stream of water that barely missed the flying bat. Petrel returned his Pokemon and dashed off, unleashing a smoke bomb behind him. Along with their admins, the other rockets. Kalvin fired once more and almost caused a cave in.

"Cough...they're getting away!" Jerry coughed, trying to clear the smoke.

"Who cares?" Kurt asked. "At least the Slowpoke are safe! No thanks to Kalvin for blowing up most of the well." He waded through the smoke and began petting a small Slowpoke's head. "It's okay, little one. You're tail will grow back."

"Yeah, that's first priority" Walker said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh yeah, about my balls..." Kurt said, digging into his pocket.

"Dude get away from us, you pedofile!" Jerry yelled in fright.

Kurt sighed and pulled out three specially made Pokeballs. "Please take one each for your help."

Walker took one. "What's this?"

"A Fast Ball. It works better on speedier Pokemon."

Jerry chose one next. "And this?"

"It's the Heavy Ball. It works best on heavier Pokemon."

Kalvin reluctantly chose the last one. "This one is...?"

Kurt smiled. "A Love Ball."

"Awwww!" Jerry teased.

"Shut up!" Kalvin shouted. He turned back to Kurt. "Old man..." He was hit in the head with a cane. "Owwww!"

"The Love Ball works best on Pokemon of the opposite gender as the Pokemon you have out" Kurt explained. "Oh, you should train a bit. This town has a gym, you know?"

"The second gym badge..." Jerry smiled. "I'll take this one, guys!"


	47. Chapter 11 (uncut)

Pokemon Johto Expansion

Chapter 11: That's what I call an angry bird (uncut)

Jerry had been training hard for his gym badge with his almost impossible training schedule. First, he did sleeping exercizes, which he did very well. He might have even been named a pro at it. Then, he played his PS2 for 10 hours, which exercized his mind and numbed his fingers. So, he went back to another sleeping exercize for 8 hours and finished with a whole 10 minutes of battle training. This process went on for about 4 days before Jerry found himself ready to face the gym leader.

"I'm pumped!" he shouted, punching his hand with his fist. "I wonder why I played my ps2 instead of my ps3?"

"What's that?" Walker asked.

"Not sure...Still pumped."

"From what?" Walker asked, sceptical. "Playing Ratchet and Clank?"

"Dude, just drop it" Jerry grumbled. "Sure...anyways, where's Kalvin?"

"He decided to help out a charcoal man's kid by catching his Farfetch'd for him."

"I wonder how he's doing?" Walker asked himself as they entered the gym.

Meanwhile, in Ilex Forest...

Kalvin panted, turning around to see the wily bird behind him. "Stupid bird. I'll catch you with my pen!" he cried, throwing it at Farfetch'd. The bird simply moved aside, dodging the projectile and jumped on his head, pecking at his face. "Get off you stupid bird!" He ran in circles, but Farfetch'd wouldn't get off of him. "What if I try this?" Kalvin asked, setting up dynamite around him. He lit the fuses, but Farfetch'd jumped. "Crap."

Back at the gym...

"Hello challengers" Bugsy, the gym leader, announced. "I will be your opponent for this battle." His blue hair was...strange yet not as strange as a character with green hair would be in Neopets, right? Sorry, I'll continue writing the story. "Who will I be battling?" Bugsy spoke with an Irish accent. He held up a bowl of lucky charms.

"I'll battle you" Jerry challenged, throwing out Totodile, who was jamming to a cd of Toby Keith. "Totodile, time to battle." Totodile shook off the headset and handed it back to his owner.

"That's...interesting..." Bugsy sweatdropped. Composing himself, he released a Scyther. "This is my pride and joy" Bugsy smiled, pointing at Totodile. "Fine! We will have a 1 on 1 battle for the Hive Badge! Scyther, we'll start with Quick Attack!" Scyther slammed into Totodile with blinding speed.

"Hold on, I wasn't ready!" Jerry yelled.

"Oh...are you ready now?" Jerry nodded. "Okay, Quick Attack...again." Scyther repeated his last attack, knocking Totodile to the ground.

"Totodile, use Water Gun!" Jerry cried. The water crocodile spat a stream of H2O at the praying mantis, but Bugsy had a surprise technique up his sleeve.

"Use Double Team." Suddenly, Scyther began multiplying into 15 more copies. If you can't imagine that, just think of the shadow clone jutsu. Actually, don't. It isn't a pleasant thought. Believe it! Well, enough making fun of naruto...

"Darn...use Water Gun again until all the copies are gone." Totodile cleared out the copies with realative ease. (Sorry, naruto.) However, the real Scyther was gone! "Where did it go?" Jerry wondered, searching the sky. Totodile did the same.

"Look to the ground" Bugsy smiled. Scyther was flying in low, hugging the ground. It flew up slightly, lifting one arm. It slashed at Totodile cheaply and then flew up with great speed, avoiding further contact as it circled around for a second strike. As it struck again, Totodile swayed in pain.

"Why did the second time hurt worse than the first?" Jerry asked.

"The move is called Fury Cutter" Bugsy said with a grin. "It's a cheap attack that gets stronger each time the move is continually used. Pretty soon, it will be strong enough to knock out Totodile. Use your next attack wisely."

Scyther had already started its third descent as Jerry gave the order for Totodile to dodge. Totodile narrowly missed a collision course with defeat as Scyther swiped just inches away. "Quick! Jump on its back and use Ice Fang!" Totodile lept upwards and bit into Scyther, causing it to flinch slightly. Totodile rolled off of its back as Jerry got an idea. "Hey, Walker! Did you see that cool move?" However, Walker wasn't paying much attention.

"A fourth Tepig toy" he sighed, throwing an entire happy meal in the garbage. He saw Jerry glaring at him. "Oh right, morale support. Doing good, buddy!"

"Ah, shut up!" Jerry shot at him, turning his attention back to the battle. "Totodile, use Water Gun on the floor!" Scyther attempted another Fury Cutter. Totodile shot up like a rocket and dodged with space to spare.

"Clever trick" Bugsy said. "But, Scyther can fly so it won't matter. Go in with False Swipe!"

As Scyther flew at Totodile, arm lifted, Jerry made a rash decision. "Use Water Gun on the opposite wall!" Totodile turned and shot the wall behind him with water, propelling him towards the left wall. "Now use Water Gun on the ceiling!" Totodile again shot water at the intended target and was skyrocketed downward like a rock in the ocean. "Water Gun again! At the left wall!" Totodile began sparying water in all directions, sending the water crocodile flying in all directions. Bugsy and Scyther were unable to keep up.

"It's...so fast!" Bugsy shouted in surprise. Totodile once again shot out water at the ceiling, hitting Scyther, who had been just flying under him at the time. Both crashed to the ground. Totodile was standing, but just barely. Bugsy shook his head. "Looks like you won. That last strategy had my head spinning. Here's the Hive Badge."

Jerry smiled and accepted it. "Alright, I wonder if you can sell a badge for a PSP or even a Vita!"

"I prefer the 3ds" Walker commented. "Which do you prefer, Kalvin?"

"Um...Kalvin's not here. He's still in the forest."

Meanwhile, in Ilex Forest...still...

Kalvin was running at full speed, Farfetch'd behind him. The tiny bird was waving a leak around like there was no tomorrow and if Kalvin stopped, he was afraid there wouldn't be. "I hate birds!" he yelled.


End file.
